#sometimes i feel like i just shpuldnt let people see just how ugly things get

[suck-mein-pokeballs]

I've been under a lot of stress for a very long time and I finally snapped and I'm trying in my own way to get back from that and find a little joy so I can start leaving my bed and I don't appreciate you judging me for my methods or for the fact that my mental breakdowns have been an established pattern for years now

#everyone always goves up on me and judges me #and i wouldnt mind cause i know im not ok and my actions arent good healthy or rational #what fucks me up is when someone comes into my life and shows me their ugly sides and i dont judge and i try to be there #and eventually i open up and i let them see my ugly sodes and at first theyre compassionate but they always end up judging me #and giving up on me #sometimes i feel like i just shpuldnt let people see just how ugly things get #because everyone loses respect for me and everyone ends up thinking im worthless and a lost cause #mein shit