#somewhere quinns uncle rabbit is staring blankly into the distance abt all of this. the wilderness survival education has failed this boy

[darkfinch]

i know quinn probably eats everything provided it’s not a raw vegetable but—

okay the fishing thing got me thinking like did. what if. quinn just plucks this flailing fish out of the water and watches eliot’s life flash before his eyes,, but instead of the logical conclusion of drowned cat = eliot mad he’s like oh. i know eliot. yes. must eat fish. proceeds to take a bite out of the fish in his hands but eliot barrels into him head first & 2 drowned rat hitters later that’s the last time quinn gets to go on an outing

—but then in my brain there’s a. side au. qwat lite. where quinn is vegetarian or vegan or somewhere in between but doesn’t eat meat and when everyone (eliot) finds out and stares at him like okay……this is a twist, but manageable, frantically whipping up something new, comments at this time pls he’s in a mission to make the best meatless version of—but quinn who can’t take a hint is like “meat is murder murder is bad” & eliot has an aneurysm on the spot

this is. pebbles this is SO unhinged,

so my personal "quinn is weird about food" hcs mostly stem from like... "textures are weird and also it's entirely possible that my food is poisoned if i haven't made it myself. i do not want to make it myself. i am eating sealed instant garbage thank you" and i would HOPE that he knows that taking a big chomping bite out of a freshwater fish WOULD detonate his digestive system HOWEVER

the image of quinn going "haha i grab fish like bear, i will pretend to bite the fish, like a bear" and eliot immediately being like. "this fuckin unfathomable moron's gonna give himself Miscellaneous Stomach Disease and I'LL have to take CARE of him" and promptly tackling him into the water is. so good. quinn is banned from outings. the fish escapes unharmed

and on an entirely separate note, quinn either genuinely or For The Bit transforming into a Meat Is Murder vegan mid-conversation is fucking hysterical

"meat is murder, animals have thoughts and feelings and killing them is just as wrong as killing people" says quinn, exactly like he's reciting something he memorized from a flyer someone handed him once (he's reciting something he memorized from a flyer someone handed him once)

"quinn" says eliot, "you kill people"

"yeah"

"professionally"

"is this relevant"

#somewhere quinns uncle rabbit is staring blankly into the distance abt all of this. the wilderness survival education has failed this boy #(this is not a knock against vegans if u are vegan i nod at u supportively) #(quinn being a vegan for fucking Ethical Murder Is Bad reasons however is very very funny) #finchtalks