#sorry for being loud tdy

[kokokitty]

When I was like 8 or 9 my family moved to Washington during the summer because my dad got orders to move there for work. My parents found a house but it was still in the process of being built and wouldn't be finished for a few more months. My dad was military and got deployed or sent on TDY or whatever like the same week and seeing as how school hadn't started, my mom took my brother (who was 7 at the time) and I to go visit and stay with her mom in Oregon as it had been awhile since we'd seen her and also to save some money on housing.

At that time, my grandma lived right on a golf course. She had a sliding glass back door that was maybe like 30 feet from the golf course. And I think it was the start of a new hole or right at the end of one (like the whole was right there) as there was a bench right on the course.

Now I don't know where we got it or who had the idea in the first place but my mom happily bought a fart machine technically for my brother but with the express purpose of putting it on that bench.

The thing came with double sided tape and a remote as well as batteries. When turned on, if you hit the button on the remote it would emit a loud fart noise. So my brother stuck it to the underside of the bench and we all waited.

The setup was glorious. We could chill outside my grandma's house and the bench was close enough that the remote reached. And since it was summer, the course had decent traffic. So my brother (or my mom, she was probably having the most fun) would wait for someone to sit down on the bench and then hit the button and let a fart fly.

Groups were the best. You'd watch people awkwardly look at each other and laugh and accuse each other of being the farter. And we'd let off multiple farts spaced out enough to not make things suspicious.

Many people found it out. Especially people who were alone. They'd usually track down where the noise came from then look under the bench and find it and then usually look around for the culprit. And we were all too happy to let them know it was us and usually my mom would be in tears from laughter anyways. And people LOVED it. They'd usually be laughing just as hard too and tell us that it was GREAT and how they'd be telling this story. A few asked where we got the fart machine from. And save a few assholes who were usually old who wanted to pretend like golfing in a fucking neighborhood in Eugene, Oregon ALONE was super serious business that we were "tainting" while ruining their concentration, it really brightened people's days. And my mom would just offer a "Sorry" and sometimes run out to collect it if 1 of these assholes pulled it off the bench (and then she'd put it back on after they left).

But when I think about good pranks I think about this. It wasn't mean. It didn't hurt anyone or destroy any property. It was simple. And the person being pranked almost always found it just as funny as we did. And we've carried that memory with us for about 2 decades now and still laugh about it.

#pranks #prank

[ecotone99]

[RF] Wrecked: A War Story Based in the Future (Please Critique)

This is non-cannon to my previous stories about the past. This can also be considered a romance, but that is only a partial part of the story.

Chapter 1: A Rigid Beginning

It's Friday, and I am on Summer Vacation with my family. We traveled from northern Canada to the southern part of the Bahamas, and boy is it beautiful. The temperature is in the triple digits, and we got a house next to the beach! I am ecstatic, completely different from my chill personality. I used to be silent, as if something was preventing me to speak. Now, I speak more then most people in my country, most likely anyway. And I met this girl, and she is a volcano ready to erupt. I have so much emotions running through my system that it isn't even recognizable. I bet that if I go to the hospital, my doctor would say that I should be dead because of how much my body is doing at once.

However, that would not last long, because I saw a light that's flashier then any light I've ever seen, with a loud noise following it, like a crackle. But the weird thing is, the skies were beautiful, no clouds in sight. There wasn't any predicted rain until 3 weeks after today, and it was only a 10% chance, and proceeding that day would be full of 0% until 5 weeks after, when a 50% chance of rain is inevitable. I saw a boat-like figure, with what seemed to be like plane-like shadows flying all over it. I then feel a pain in my knee, maybe a crab pinched it. However, what I saw terrified the living daylights out of me. I saw a huge hole in my knee, with blood gashing out of it like a milk gallon. I then proceeded to black out for 10 hours, all while my crush was standing on the balcony, watching the event live, along with hundreds of other people.

Chapter 2: Wake Up

When I wake up, I see my family standing around me, in a hospital room. I then heard a voice, one I've never heard before. "You're Colt, right?" says the voice. I respond with a "Yes." I feel confused as for what happened, remembering nothing but screaming and pain. I look to my right, and to my surprise, I see a surgeon, in full armor, mask and everything. "You're lucky to still have you're leg, son. You got shot by an F-35." Said the surgeon, in a voice that seemed to tremble with each following breath. I am wondering what has happened, I then wonder, how did an F-35 shoot me? I then realize something. This surgeon knows something I didn't, I could see the fear in his eyes, the emotion in his skin.

"Everyone, I am afraid to say this, and I am not the one to assume, but I think that a war has just began, and you are most likely the first casualty." Said the surgeon. And as soon as the surgeon said casualty, I heard a loud crackle, followed with 3 others, and within milliseconds, my whole family, along with the surgeon, fell on the ground, lifeless, and as still as a statue. I proceed to scream, and black out again, hoping that it'd be my last.

Chapter 3: A Dream Come True

I wake up with nothing but rubble in sight. I hear "Get him, get him!" being yelled over and over again, and I recognized the voice as my crush's voice. I am in more pain then when I was originally shot in the leg, but then, as I open my eyes after blinking more then one thousand times to keep the dust out of my eyes from all the rubble, I see my crush's face, going down towards mine. I am being revealed, piece by piece. Now, I am fully revealed, and my crush's dad helps me up, and they both help me walk towards the dad's truck, like human crutches. "W... what happened?" I ask, in a soft whisper.

"I'm sorry to say this, but your family is dead. They got killed in a blaze of gunfire, by what most likely was the German Frische Mörder, the Fresh Murderers in English." My crush said, in a blue voice. She then whispers to me "Listen, I know you like me, and I do too. Meet me at 5:00 PM today, my parents won't be home." She then went back to her seat, and winked at me. When I arrived, I had the best time of my life.

Chapter 4: FBI Open Up

After the ordeal with my crush, I left the house, with her hand still on me. I go into my car, and say "Love ya!" as I drive off. I then arrive at my house, and to my surprise, the door is totaled, knocked down, and completely out of sight from an angle. I then see someone walking out of the front, well, entrance now, with a bag that seemed to be really heavy, and a really suspicious mask on. I immediately drive up to him, and realize that he has a badge with that says something in a language I don't understand, with a camo uniform on. I get out of my car once I am in close range of him.

"Who are you?" I yell, fairly loud. I then see him turn around, run toward me without warning, and punched me right in the noggin, the rest I remember is nothing but black.

Chapter 5: Tell Me All You Know

I wake up with what seems to be like a thousand men around me, all with torches. But there is one man in front of me, the person who knocked me out! I try to get out of the chair, and get him back, but then realize that I was chained down towards my chair. "What do you know?" The man asks. Me, being the confused man I was, asked "Know about what?", then, the man says, "About, Racheal." My crush, I'll never release any information towards this bastard! I then yell "Uh, nothing, never heard of her actually." I then feel a pain in my shoulder, I realize that there are 2 men beside me, both armed with very sharp knives. "Listen boy, you don't tell me anything, you'll be stabbed by 2 knives, on both of the sides of your body." Me, almost crying, replies "What kind of monster are you?" He then walks up to me, and says, my name, is Sekt Hitler, the son of Maras Hitler, but now that I said that, and it can't be released to the public, boys, kill him!" I then see the 2 men, about to thrust the knife through my body, but then, they both release a blood stream in their noggin, with a loud noise after. They both got shot in the head, and nobody saw it coming.

"Flee! Flee!" Yelled Sekt, completely disregarding his thousands of soldiers. I then see an Soldier run up towards me. "Tell me what they said." Ordered the soldier. "The man's name who was directly in front of me was Sekt Hitler." I reply. The soldier then untied me from the chair, and said I was free, and for compensation for the danger you were in, we will hook you up with a new car, and $100,000. I then stare at him, I then ask "Bahamian, or Canadian?" I ask. He replies with "Bahamian." After this, I took my money, my new ride, and booked a hotel. I then retreat down south to Guyana, and I get a stable job as a manager of a Thai Restaurant. After 2 years of being in Guyana, I travel back up north to Canada, and find my crush in a random supermarket. I would eventually marry her, and have 3 kids, all in Toronto.

Never treat someone by how their life has been lived. Whether if they have experienced war or not, we all deserve happiness, and respect from anyone as long as we are sinless. Live your best life you can, and be happy!

-TDY Ant

Author of this text you just wrote.

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