#sorry to the real patricia lockwood for dragging her name into this mess

[stealthnoodle]

Baldur's Gate 3 is still letting me do things, and with my strategy of playing this game during all of my free time to distract from December, I have done things all the way to the end of it! And immediately am starting a new game, because of course I am.

Let's get this tragedy out of the way first and then go into spoilers:

Presented with the option to give Mother the MacGuffin, Miette naturally refused. Listen. She got Wyll out of his pact. She stopped a big ol' vampiric ascension and turned hundreds of vampire spawn loose in the Underdark. She killed a devil who had been harassing her all game and stole all his stuff. No one tells her she can't do something, especially not Mother.

(Also she didn't drag that fancy magic hammer out of Hell for nothing, and Lae'zel was her cherished fuck-buddy for like four whole days, so no. Mother cannot eat Orpheus.)

Which means I got the Patricia Lockwood heel-turn. Then Orpheus called Miette out for fucking a mindflayer (in front of all her friends, who had magically forgotten about that), which was rude, but she still turned into a mindflayer herself partially so he wouldn't have to but mostly so she could be the tall one.

SIZE MEDIUM, BITCHES. Now Miette is the one who opens the cupboards and the cans! Now Miette is the one who kicks YOUR body like the football! (During that final battle, it was actually Karlach who kicked mindflayers off the edge of the brainship, but close enough, shhh.)

I would like to stress that Miette consumed zero tadpoles prior to this, because Mother told her to and she doesn't obey Mother. "Embrace Your Potential" has languished in the quest log. We just went zero to eldritch horror in a snap. Like damn, I could have had these abilities all along??

The only downside, as far as Miette is concerned, is that she can't wear the jutilated jarapace anymore. :( A tragedy second only to the Karlach situation. (Well, not second to the entire Karlach situation, because her breakdown after killing Gortash made me fucking cry.)

Then I ran into the consequences of making everyone prance around camp in sexy underwear combined with my decision to yoink Halsin's armor without replacing it with anything:

He showed up like this AGAIN in the background of the ending during a very emotional Karlach moment, too:

idk if it's a bug or intentional that the ending skipped ahead without any more character interactions after Miette decided to relocate to Avernus with ex-bf Wyll and never-gf Karlach, but I want to believe everyone just wanted to wrap things up after this.

The reunion epilogue was very sweet and I had to spend three (3) points of inspiration not to freak out and eat Shadowheart's brain, which feels like a very Miette sendoff. Though not as much of a Miette sendoff as me stubbornly trying to change her clothes for five straight minutes because why can't she wear her sexy lingerie anymore.

The moral of the story is that mindflayers deserve fashion rights.

Speaking of fashion rights, I want to find out what this "Dark Urge" origin is, and I made the perfect woman for the job:

For her Guardian, I hit "Randomize" once and got this. The game knows what I'm doing and it is enabling me

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #stealthnoodle plays bg3 #bg3 spoilers #and now: miette's apology tour #sorry i broke up with you and then got your dad killed wyll #sorry i banged you and then ran off to hell without even saying goodbye halsin #sorry i never got your approval above neutral astarion #(it was the clown incident wasn't it) #sorry i killed your sister hope #(she was level 5 and wouldn't stay out of my aoe spells) #sorry to the npcs who died because i didn't realize i needed to complete some quests in a timely fashion #sorry to the real patricia lockwood for dragging her name into this mess #not sorry to the in-game one #mother had it coming #this randomized guardian looks eerily similar to my first da:o warden #who was even more of a force of chaos than miette