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#srry to be all vent posts and no art but the stress is high rn
opens-up-4-nobody
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1 year
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#srry to be all vent posts and no art but the stress is high rn
#i feel a little better now. i forgot how much i love working with the culture collection
#i go in when theres no one there and i just spend a few hours listening to podcasts as i move slime from tube to tube
#it forces me to do one thing bc once i start i cant stop. i just like it a lot. i havent done for like the last 2 semesters bc we had the
#money to pay a student to do it. and at the time i was in the thick of taking photosynthesis measures and it was causing me a lot of pain
#and transfering was like the one lab task i liked to do so it felt like i was being punished. i could no longer do the thing most aligned
#with my interests. and i just let it go bc in my brain im not allowed to do things that i enjoy. if i enjoy it its not hard enough.
#so i just let it go. and let myself be crushed under the weight of things i don't enjoy and now here we r
#a little light has returned to me
#and its not all bad. i am looking forward to giving a lecture next week. i like communicating info to others and deciding what to talk abt
#ill try to make it fun. if i have the time. and im looking forward to my meeting tomorrow morning. everyone ive met with so far does really
#cool research. id be happy to wind up anywhere. but if i get into the big scary uk uni then i have to go there bc the project is so perfect
#i dont dare get my hopes up. and tho my interview today wasnt the best i learned some really cool things by talking to the guy and im more
#prepared moving forward.
#however i did agree to make both my sisters sticker sheets for xmas and that is gonna take so much time i might die. so ya kno rip
#but like i said. not all bad.
#unrelated
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