#steve: less of a crisis and more of a 'oh shit. thats NOT straight? huh' moment

[findafight]

Steve's parents were absent when he was growing up yes we know this is true and so he imprinted on Hawkeye Pierce as the only stable and reliable male role model in his life (circa 1972-1983). THIS is why he doesn't realize his bisexuality is not the standard for everyone because, in my humble queer "grew up watching MASH thinking BJ and Hawkeye are married" opinion, Hawkeye is a fruity little guy. absolute icon of a bisexual. Like obviously so many characters are Queer Icons in Mash (Klinger is Very Obvious and yes I'm in love with him and yes he was an Important Experience for baby me what about it. But also. Henry Blake I see you. Margaret Houlihan you should kiss a woman about it.) BUT Hawkeye is 1) arguably the Main Character 2) openly flirts with men/indicates he is Down To Bone if they are so inclined/implies he is Babygirl Material (??? Legitimately catches me off guard rewatching he's so obvious. Sir! This is a hospital! You have your hands inside a person's guts!) 3) was definitely in love with both Trapper and BJ (I am not taking comments about this at any time) 4) very much Cool Uncle shaped and begging to be imprinted upon by baby gays.

And while YES obviously I believe Klinger was Steve's First Celeb Crush because man's got a Type, he ain't subtle, Hawkeye was the one that ingrained that it's Totally Normal And Straight To Want To Flirt With Men into baby Steve's brain. Like of course Hawkeye was in love with BJ you just don't talk about it for some reason. He doesn't know. Gay people are because they act a certain way? Because they're only attracted to their own gender? He isn't sure and he's not thinking too hard about it. And that's his role model!! Hawkeye is the best! Sure Colonel Potter is the most Horse girl Dad Man of anyone ever, but Hawkeye is So Shaped.

So when he comes out to Robin in a totally bizarre manner ("Robin. Was. Was Mash gay?" "Steve. Babe. what are you talking about." "Like, Hawkeye and BJ? They were kinda gay right? And Hawkeye definitely said stuff that implied he liked men. I am wondering if that's a gay thing." "Steve. Usually when a man likes other men it's a gay thing." "So Mash is gay" "I have no clue. I mean. Klinger was kinda fruity, right? So... Maybe?" "Hm. Huh. Okay so like. Hawkeye liked women right?" "Yes. I do recall he was certainly interested in women" "yeah and he had that girlfriend who didn't want to marry him. But he also liked men. Is that a thing? He had that lady-ex but was also in love with BJ. I thought everyone was like that." "W-why? Why would you think that?" "Because Hawkeye did! And so do I! You know I didn't have many positive male role models in my life so I just assumed that's how Being Straight was." "Steve I love you but being attracted to anyone but someone of the opposite gender is, to me, a decidedly Not Straight thing to do." " "That's what I'm saying, rob! Mash was kinda gay, and so am I!") He speeds past queer crisis directly into "I can't believe I could have been dating boys this whole time too why didn't anyone tell me this earlier." While Robin is bewildered as to how Steve gaslight gatekeep girlbossed his way into and immediately out of the closet.

#steve harrington #robin Buckley #steddie #platonic stobin #eddie: okay so are you freaking out because i kissed you #steve: no no mash got me thru the crisis real fast im just realizing i have a type #eddie: im sorry. mash got you thru your sexuality crisis? #steve: less of a crisis and more of a 'oh shit. thats NOT straight? huh' moment #eddie:how did mash do that? steve: robin told me it wasnt straight to have crushes on men and lemme tell you.mash did not teach that lesson #mash #finda's rambles #yes i am continuing my 'steve loves Mash' agenda and you cant do anything about it. #also my 'steves first crush was Klinger' agenda. #stranger things