#still trying to keep straight faces the day of the fake fight while drastically improvising to try and throw each other off their game

[talentforlying]

father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned. constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is. father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .? constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.

so #1, an undeniable slay.

#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.

#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.

also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #always torn in half between 'john is a freaky little weirdo who just Knows Things and Picks Up Vibes and it usually works for him' #and 'john is the most Normal Dude in the whole london occult scene he just works w/ magic like a grad student prepping for finals week' #and you know what? the answer is always 'Both. Both is good.' #also on the one hand i'm truly obsessed with the idea of john just?? Always having a bunch of weird trivia available w/ his eidetic memory #like he read about the apostolic palace once in a book when he was with the peace convoy and his brain latched onto it forever #and it just Happens to become convenient later on and this happens VERY often and no one ever really knows how he does it #but there is a real real charm in considering that he's still Just A Guy beneath all the layers of false confidence and mysticism #still someone who had to work to get to where he is now and who will always have to work to Maintain as well #i like the mental image of him pacing around his temporary digs with index cards and drilling all the necessary details for the scam #or him and ellie getting blasted the night before and dramatically playing out their Big Final Confrontation to iron out all the beats #you just Know they were laughing til they cried workshopping shit like 'MY OLD ADVERSARY! WE MEET AGAIN!' and 'DO YOUR WORST HELLSPAWN!' #still trying to keep straight faces the day of the fake fight while drastically improvising to try and throw each other off their game #idk!!! i always enjoy the Strange and Off-Putting things about him but all of the Really Really Human stuff is also just. so so precious #we always get to see The Myth The Legend as shaped by the errors of The Man. but especially in later years actually SEEING The Man gets rar #all this to say that for every perfectly executed and properly horrifying loom out of the shadows with a glimmer of his freaky glowing eyes #there is always at LEAST half an hour or more practicing angles + expressions + mood lighting in the mirror going on behind the scenes #and that is very very special to me!!!! #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #sched.