#take a shot every time one of my fics ruins someone's sleep schedule aka the Go To The Emergency Room Any% Speedrun

[desceros]

update: am dying, have died, dying forever and ever and ever and will continue to do so as long as you keep writing turtle smut

i don't have words because my brain is frazzled (i started this at, like... 10 p.m. yesterday? i think? and i finished some time after 3 a.m., so. what a way to start my birthday) but wow. so... SO very hot, oh my god. i think i hauve covid /reference

but also, as someone who wants a piercing (or two, or three, or four, or...) at some point in their life, now i'm scared that i might get a boaner 😔 it wouldn't be visible because. 🏳️‍⚧️ and the man piercing me would (sadly) not be a hot turtle, but still. my dignity...

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!! i got you death and dying as a present, chin hands

normally i'd say 'no, you probably won't, truth be told getting a piercing is a lot more clinical than fiction shows and it's kind of like going to the doctor but the dr is named greg and he stabs you and then you pay him for it' BUT who knows. thoughts of purple turtle have been known to shift tectonics. nods sagely

#ask tag #day job au #take a shot every time one of my fics ruins someone's sleep schedule aka the Go To The Emergency Room Any% Speedrun