#temp clyde & beck tag

[shoelacestied]

headcanons, clyde & beck i

guinevere beck was the middle child, born after clyde and before anya and it was clyde she followed around, clyde whose hand she held anytime they were out. it wasn't that she didn't feel safe with her parents, that she didn't crawl into her mom's arms in the middle of the night, her mom who held her tight in the space her dad rarely slept in more and more often. it was just clyde made it easy to laugh, she didn't have to worry about her mom's scared eyes, her dad's mercurial moods .. it was just the two of them in a bubble.

beck didn't realize until she got older, until she visited friends' homes that not everyone's homes were like her own, the cracks that started to become more and more visible, that popped that bubble. clyde grew older, stopped wanting his little sisters tagging along .. beck wondered as she grew older herself that she had tired of having to shelter her, to be the only solely responsible for her and anya's happiness, to transition from big brother to surrogate parent after their dad's overdose and abandonment.

in the end it was the exhaustion in clyde's bright eyes she remembered from her childhood that resigned her to encourage the distances between them, the fights, the choked back apologies and soon they were strangers.

her big brother wasn't in the hospital when she was learning to speak through the bruises on her throat, he wasn't knocking on blythe's door when she was too terrified to even breathe at the sound, he wasn't there at all .. a twisted part of beck was relieved at his absence, a quieter part of her heart broke for it.

until the day he walked into the library, so different from the image of him she had held onto that it took her a few moments to recognize his eyes, the same eyes that she and anya had as well, the stronger line of his shoulders and the shadow of scruff on his face. clyde's moments had opened and closed, his jaw had tightened and worked before his entire frame, his features seemed to soften,

" do you .. umm .. do you still like snowcones ? cotton candy, becks ? "

a laugh laced with a sob had been her immediate answer, " yeah, yeah i do. "

#cw drug overdose #cw mental health #cw strangulation #headcanons » where all my breaths are soft and kind and my lungs know nothing of fear #temp clyde & beck tag #so i've been wanting to write this for a while but its just been escaping me #and today felt the like day tm so here it is ! #also ps sorry for the abrupt ending i honestly got super dizzy and passy outy