#testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically

[jeezypetes]

Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about

#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people #think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it #anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my #mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has #gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their #retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i #moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die #i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve #spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for #years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy #future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s #not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option. #god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it #i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their #second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates #hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats #I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but #testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically #that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that

[harryfeatgaga]

I was hoping they’d announce when ny was gonna open back up soon bc my mom was reading an article the other day that was basically saying that it’s entirely possible that ny (and most of the other states in the northeast) may be really close to herd immunity already bc we got hit SO bad with covid in the beginning that they really have no idea how many people actually had it and bc most people are getting vaccinated (unlike some of these other states 🙄) like listen idc if I have to prove I’ve been vaccinated/test negative and wear a mask I just wanna see harry!!

MOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!