#thank u 🐗 anon :D

[kachuuyaa]

Hi hi hi I am back with some new fucking incorrect quotes before school drags me to me inevitable downfall

Also I think it would be really funny if we go by the original au of Dazai and Chuuya falling to Genshin with BSD! Reader following right after, but with Fyodor. He just kinda, is there but makes everything worse regardless. Rat man..

---

Dazai: it's kinda gay to work at the port mafia

Chuuya, eye twitching: I'm gay

BSD! Reader, regardless of gender, fruity:

Fyodor: yeah it's because you work at the port mafia

---

Fyodor: about wine: grapes are easy to aquire and easy to eat.

Reader, wine connoisseur: if you say anything more on this topic I'm going to murder you.

Diluc, wine maker, who has to deal with more wine menaces other than Kaeya: do it

---

Reader: I'm going to bed

Chuuya: ??? Okay, but it's morning.

Reader: it sure is

Chuuya: a new day JUST started

---

Fyodor: you're looking cute today

Dazai, whipping out a gun: you better say no homo I the next 3 seconds or I'm making this everyone's problem

Dazai: 1

Fyodor:

Dazai: 2

Fyodor:

Dazai:

Fyodor:

----

Sara: and here's your sticky honey roast!

Fyodor: it's dry.

Reader: [spits on it, steps on it, throws it out the window] how about now

Reader: you bitch

Fyodor: I hate life.

---

Dazai: I can't open this jar!

Kaeya: yeah, that's because its--

Reader: [opens it like a jar]

Kaeya: -A can. What the fuck?

---

Dazai: I have an idea.

Reader:

Dazai: I said I have an idea

Reader: I'm ignoring you.

---

Reader: so if you paint your finger tips with clear nail polish, you won't leave fingertips.

Childe: shoot that's actually really helpful information. Thanks!!

Jean, Kaeya, Amber, and Eula, who are the genshin equivalent of the authorities: ...Helpful for what exactly?

Fyodor: murder?? It's kind of a given here.

---

Reader: where are you?

Any of the BSD boys: at the church.

Reader: ...you good?

Them: no.

Reader:

Them:

Reader:

Them:

Reader: So are you gonna elaborate?

---

Reader, fucking with Dainsleif: my biological parent told me when I was born had reptile skin.

Dainsleif: what

Reader: I had very dry skin

Dain: No you did not

Reader: yes I did

Dain: childbirth is not a dry experience.

Fyodor: how do you know that? Have you given birth

Diluc, who overheard everything: this conversation is over.

---

Albedo: okay this says "shake well before feeding"

Fyodor: [picks up the baby to shake them]

Albedo: Mr. Dostoevsky. Who's child is that

---

Fyodor, trying to get information: so what do you do if someone makes an allegation against you

Dazai: see you later alligator

Childe: I fight them

Reader: murder

Kaeya: blackmail

Fyodor: thank you gentlepeople I have finished my report.

--

Fyodor: I'm eating raw apple juice

Lisa: raw?

Reader: [nodding] raw.

Lisa: as in straight out the apple?

Fyodor: yes.

---

Kaeya: so how are you feeling?

Reader, chronic liar: pretty good.

Kaeya, another chronic liar: no need to lie to me.

Reader:

Kaeya:

Reader:

---

Reader: man it's like my bones are broken

Dainsleif: where you're going, you don't need bones.

Traveller:What??? Where are we going??

Dainsleif, Kaeya, and Albedo, the Khaenri'ahn boys: Khaenri'ah

---

Fyodor, after 1 drink, not because he's drunk, but because he's just like that: did you know. The mouth of a jellyfish is also its anus. I just though that was interesting.

Reader: looking at Diluc and his claymore: i want this man gone

---

Reader: when you die I will play Jenga with your bones.

Fyodor: you want to play with my chalky bones?

Dazai, to Chuuya and the other GI characters: I told you they were getting along

---

Dazai: I had a dream where Y/N was about to kill me because they went insane and did some very morally questionable things, but you saved me

Chuuya, with Fyodor slung over his shoulder, hauling Dazai's bony ass up: Dazai that was not a dream. Now get up we have to run. They're coming.

----

Reader, talking to any vision wielder about ruin guards: fuck a vision I'll just kill them (with my bare hands)

---

(Take 1)

Chuuya: so this is how you make faggottini, a cheese filled type of pasta--

Reader: Italians, count your fucking days

---

(Take 2)

Fyodor and Childe: [exist]

Reader: Russians, count your fucking days.

---

Klee: would you fight me?

Reader: how old are you?

Klee: 10

Reader: yea

Reader: whip you upside down, spin you around like a ceiling fan, yes baby girl is will.

Klee, gasping: how old are you?!

Reader: 20ish

Klee: we're like freaking 10 years apart!

Reader: I'm glad you know how to do math

Klee: my mom is 31, try me

Reader: I shoot, I hope she can shoot back

---

Klee, sniffing Fyodor:

Fyodor:

Klee: you kinda smell

Fyodor: what the f-

Klee: like a baka

Fyodor:

Klee: eren yaeger

Reader, wheezing in the background:

----

I have to give credits to @/ratdoodoo666 on Twitter for a lot of these gold quotes but I just thought it was too fucking funny to pass up

Also I hope I did justice (hopefully) making this longer jdhdhdbd (although some of these might classify under offensive humor depending on how you see it?? Sorry in advance if they make you uncomfortable)

🐗 anon

HIIII 🐗 ANON I LIVE FOR THESEEE THNAK YOU FYODOR IS HERE 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ my meow meow mass murderer

i read through all of these n i loved the jenga one a lot

alllsooo dw u did not make me uncomfy in anyway hehe I loved rhese a lot u dont need to be concerned :)

#📩 #🐗 #thank u 🐗 anon :D