#that if aluojin had never given sheng lingyuan that blade，sheng lingyuan could not have plunged it into his heart

[neuxue]

still not over the way Sheng Lingyuan uses Aluojin's dagger rather than Tong for the whole... uh... Sequence In The Cave.

as if trying even then to preserve some last shred of xiao-Ji's innocence, trying to ensure that at least in this one most atrocious act, only his own hands would be stained. As if knowing he must carry the weight of this terrible deed but wanting to spare the little sword spirit the blood of those who once tended the pear tree in the closest thing they ever had to a home.

like. in this moment Sheng Lingyuan is a weapon trying to act as a shield, to a child forced (forged) to act as a weapon.

#烈火浇愁 #so instead he uses the dagger aluojin once gifted him! #because that'll hurt so much less!!!! #but that too is so representative of the relationship between sheng lingyuan and aluojin #that if aluojin had never given sheng lingyuan that blade，sheng lingyuan could not have plunged it into his heart #that if sheng lingyuan had never loved aluojin at all，he would never have had to destroy him #that if they had never meant anything to one another， it would not have had to end like this #but if they had never meant anything to one another，then all may have been lost long before #anyway everything about this story hurts SO MUCH MORE on reread/rewatch #(do not ask me how many times i have watched donghua ep8) #back on my liehuo bullshit i say as if i were ever not on my liehuo bullshit