#that plus various other trauma = a crippling guilt complex and emotions so repressed that its actively lowering my quality of life

[curioscurio]

being raised american baptist until high school will fuck you up so bad.

it teaches you that you are, by nature, inherently an evil creature constantly sinning and committing shameful acts just for existing. you dont deserve love or relief or happiness or joy because you are just that horrible for existing. that you can never be Enough to make up for the sin of being born.

:) but dont worry! Some Guy died a horrible death so that your pathetic self is allowed the privileges of living. :) * hope you like Some Guy because now he's the most important person in your life btw.

*ONLY if you follow our special book of make believe rules and try your hardest to indoctrinate other people into this lifestyle

then MAYBE God will think you've scraped up enough Good Boy Points to escape the innumerable forms of painful and grotesque Eternal Torture in the afterlife (that you deserve btw.)

also your non-believer friends and your pets are going to hell (which is a real place) no matter what. they tell you all this when you're 5 using puppets

#im venting but it really does fuck you up when youre raised as a child with this mindset #most of it isnt like censored for kids either they straight up tell you you go to hell for sinning like lying or disobeying your parents #that plus various other trauma = a crippling guilt complex and emotions so repressed that its actively lowering my quality of life #sorry i have been repressing probably every traumatic event thats happened in my life since i was young