#that was when i stumbled upon doing translation and self-studied japanese to N1 level

[glitchdecay]

Natsuki Is So Much More Than His Ditzy Behavior: Part 2

In June of Natsuki's route in Repeat LOVE, Natsuki explains why he applied to the idol program at Saotome Gakuen despite being lauded as a genius violinist — and later violist — in his childhood.

The dialogue text is pretty long, so it'll go under the cut.

Note: I transcribed the Japanese manually from the Switch port, but I'm only human. All translations are my own.

―Japanese―

【来栖　翔】:「おかえり〜。じゃねぇよ、この天然スケコマシ！まったく、お前は昔から……」 【来栖　翔】:「あ…………。悪い……昔のことは、あんまり言わない方がよかったか……」 昔？ 【四ノ宮那月】:「ん？……昔って？」 【来栖　翔】:「だから……ほら、あれだよ、小学校ん時のさ……ヴァイオリンのコンクール、控え室……一緒だったろ、俺と……」 【来栖　翔】:「お前、ぼけっとしてて、自分の出番も忘れてて、でも、ステージに立ったら、女子にキャーキャー言われてさ……」 【来栖　翔】:「それから……その……。すごかった……。俺なんか絶対勝てないかっこいい演奏だった……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「んーーーーー？おかしいですねぇ。記憶にありません。確かにヴァイオリンもやっていましたが」 【四ノ宮那月】:「翔ちゃんと出会っていたら絶対覚えていると思うのに……。うーーん」 【来栖　翔】:「てんめぇ、俺なんか、眼中にねぇってことかよっ」 【四ノ宮那月】:「そ、そうじゃなくて……ごめん。あの頃の記憶ってすごく曖昧で……。だから……、自分でもよくわからなくて」 【来栖　翔】:「お前がヴァイオリンやめて、ヴィオラをやり始めたって聞いた時もショックだったけど……」 【来栖　翔】:「でも、お前のヴィオラを聴いて、悔しいけど、感動した。だから、それでもいいかって思った」 【来栖　翔】:「それなのに……。なんで……。なんでそれすらやめちゃったんだよ」 【四ノ宮那月】:「それは……。それは……僕が弱いから……」 【来栖　翔】:「え…………？」 【四ノ宮那月】:「ヴィオラはとても奥深くて……。どれだけ頑張っても自分で納得のいく音は出せなくて」 【四ノ宮那月】:「でも……みんなは僕の中途半端な音を褒めてくれて。それで十分だって……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「僕がどんなに違うって言っても、誰もわかってくれなくて……。誰も僕のしたい音を教えてはくれなかった」 【四ノ宮那月】:「答えのない道をただひたすらに進むのかとそう……思ったら、すごく怖くなったんだ。その道は果てしなく長くて、遠い……」 【来栖　翔】:「……那月……」 【四ノ宮那月】:「ホントいうとね。今も怖いんだ。アイドルが歌うのを見て、すごく楽しそうで、僕もあんな風に音を楽しめたらって」 【四ノ宮那月】:「そう思って、この学校を受験したんだ。でも……。歌にも正解なんかない。自分で作っていくしかないってって気がついた」 【四ノ宮那月】:「でも……。でもね……。今、僕はひとりじゃないから」 【四ノ宮那月】:「あなたが……。そして翔ちゃんがいてくれる。誰かがそばにいて、一緒に悩んでくれる」 【四ノ宮那月】:「それがすごく嬉しくて。頑張ろうって……。頑張れるって思ったんだ。今度は答えを見つけられそうな気がするから」

―English―

Kurusu Syo: Don't "I'm back~" me, you airheaded Casanova! Jeez, you've always been like this. Syo: Ah...... Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't talk about the past. The past? Shinomiya Natsuki: Hm? The past? Syo: Like... You know, back when... we were in elementary school... At a violin competition. We were... in the same waiting room, you and me. Syo: You were spacing out and forgot your turn. But when you got on the stage, all the girls were screaming for you. Syo: And then... You... You were amazing. I thought I'd never win against your performance. Natsuki: Hmmmmmmm? That's weird. I don't remember. It's true I used to play the violin, though. Natsuki: But I'd totally remember if I met you back then. Bummer. Syo: So you didn't even pay attention to me, huh? Natsuki: That's— not what I meant... Sorry. My memories from back then were a blur... So... I don't really know myself. Syo: It was a shock to me when I found out you quit playing the violin and started playing the viola... Syo: But when I heard your viola, even though it was frustrating, I felt so moved by it. So I wondered if you were okay with that. Syo: But even then... Why... Why did you quit that too? Natsuki: That's... Because I'm weak... Syo: Huh......? Natsuki: There's so much to the viola... No matter how hard I worked, I couldn't play the way I wanted to. Natsuki: But... everyone praised my half-hearted playing. They said it was enough... Natsuki: No matter how much I said that wasn't it, no one understood me. No one could teach me how to play the way I wanted. Natsuki: When I... thought about continuing to devote myself to a path without a destination, I felt so scared. The path seems so long and endless... So far away... Syo: ... Natsuki... Natsuki: To tell the truth, I'm scared even now. When I saw idols singing and looking like they were having so much fun, I thought I could be like that too. Natsuki: That's what I thought, so I applied to this school. But... there's no right answer in this kind of music either. I've realized that I have to make it on my own. Natsuki: But... You know... I'm not alone anymore. Natsuki: 'Cause you're here... And Syo-chan, too. There's someone with me to think things through. Natsuki: It makes me so happy. When you say, "Let's do it together," I feel I can do it. Because this time, I can find the solution.

From the conversation, you can see kid!Natsuki felt lonely as a genius violinist, so he decided to move to the viola, but it didn't work either. It pained him to keep playing string instruments because things weren't working out for him.

#uta no prince sama #shinomiya natsuki #natsuki shinomiya #n plays utapri #my translations #utpr: repeat love #man i relate to him so bad #like i went from being the top student in my hs class and going on a full academic scholarship in a STEM program in college #and doing undergrad research to potentially go to a graduate program #but i quickly burned out in my junior year and was about to off myself coming into senior year #that was when i stumbled upon doing translation and self-studied japanese to N1 level #now i'm not sure if i'd go back into academia #but at least i'm in a happier place #and nacchan helped me get there in a way