#that’s why sh*go chara was one of my all time favorite shows btw

[theshadowrealmitself]

So ships are usually the character you project onto x the character that’s your type, but,,,, does anyone else lie to themselves?

Like I always try to project onto the fun sweet main character that knows how to make friends and has a heart of gold

But I know damn well I was the kid who wore all black who couldn’t connect with other people my age no matter how much I tried and had anger problems and felt like I was somehow evil or there was something fundamentally wrong with me somehow

#actively living in denial #I don’t actually know if I have anger problems #a ton of that could’ve been meltdowns because I lived in an environment that very much caused them #but no one ever wanted to admit I might be autistic DESPITE THE FACT IT WAS SO OBVIOUS #so I was treated for abandonment issues which probably fed into it #I don’t remember those sessions too well #now as an adult I can control my emotions too well #but I still don’t know if I have anger problems or if it’s something else #kinda just keep everything inside because my emotions are no one else’s problems #but is everyone else this angry inside too? #I just wanna be Sonic….but I’m pretty sure I’m shadow #and I didn’t even get the cool fashion deep voice or awesome skates #I feel cheated #no fandom #that’s why sh*go chara was one of my all time favorite shows btw #from the very opening scene I was like THATS ME #THATS WHAT ITS LIKE #wish it didn’t have the creepy stuff in it so I could rewatch it