#thats exhausting. blah and i have to have 2 Manuscripts ready to submit by November 1. ugh. it would b easier

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i am back to lementing the phd hunting process #also hate watching mountain climbing documentaries. but thats not the point rn #its just. i know where i want to go. i have 2 options that would be idea and maybe a 3rd. maybe #one of those options is dependent upon me getting a scholarship that doesnt seem likely. but still an option #so i dont think ill really find anything else thats perfect. so i should just focus on applications #but thats so terrifying. bc like what if they dont want me :'( im tempted to apply to 2 programs at the same school just bc i kinda really #want to get in there. but also i havent looked at the application fee yet and i dont wanna spend like an extra fee if i can get into the #program i actually want. ugh. and then theres actually writing thr statement of purpose rip #like idk what it is abt writing abt myself but its so exhausting. i think maybe its bc i lived it so im just like. ugh. boring! let me #blabber on abt things i like. let me be weird. let me break the format of what im supposed to do #let me be a freak >:-[ and obviously its all gotta be done in non work hours. so thst extends the hours im doing productive stuff in a way #thats exhausting. blah and i have to have 2 Manuscripts ready to submit by November 1. ugh. it would b easier #if i could just sit down and write and not just bounce around between tasks and not get things done #annoying. but allas. here we r. by December 1 everything should be submitted and then i just have to hope and prey they want me #then i just have to fugure out how and when im moving across either the country or to a different country #rip. at least ill have the summer to maybe chill? bc my employment ends after spring and my parents said i coulf hang with them #and maybe take a trip to Greece? Maybe? that'd be pretty sweet. idk well see whst happens #ugh. academia why! #i need to pray to the writing gods to grant me strength and focus. or the writing demons. whoever is more willing to help #unrelated