#the Working world doesn’t mean i am a desperate and deluded remora clinging to some underbelly like lol i am a person with a (n almost full

[pepprs]

bruh lol. kinda fighting with my mom over text rn and i feel like im dying

#purrs #idk why it’s so hard for me to just live with her misunderstanding me or being on bad terms with her but now she’s not replying and i genuin #genuinely feel like im going to pass out. i know she’s right that i need to look for other careers but like my GOD i am 23 years old i have #a long life ahead of me and i have time to change jobs and stuff and idk. like i can’t even get my thoughts together. i tried to be so like #ugh there’s no other way i can word this but submissive. in that conversation and like give her the benefit of the doubt and let her step on #me in making the points i was making and it’s like.. godddd. i am happy at work tag 2. i love the people i work with very much. it is not a #bad thing to love the people i work with and the work we do together. yes i am unhealthy about all of it but i can work on that without #having to leave. yes this is a place i am familiar and comfortable in but also i am challenged here every motherfucking day of my life and I #know for a FACT that in a full time position i will be challenged even more. i can grow in the work i do without having to leave my current #job behind. and she doesn’t seem to understand that like.. i will have basically free fucking… is it range or rein? ive never known lol but #I’ll have free rein (i think that’s what it is??) to like do all the stuff i want to do. i can come up with new workshops and start a theate #theater tripe and like basically determine our ENTIRE creative expression / storytelling programming and do it around what i want to do. wha #what other entry level job is going to let me do that??? and as a state employee i would have benefits that are like helpful to have as a #young person and would give me a leg up if i ever do decide to leave WHICH (another thing) like omg i do not have to leave my job and pursue #‘growth’™️ by climbing the ranks or whatever just bc that’s tradition and convention. if this is the job i want to be in forever then like #fuck it! just bc im 23 doesn’t mean my instincts and passions and sense of things isn’t solid. like yeah im young yeah it might be idealisti #idealistic bc i know like nothing lasts forever and we could get shut down and shjt but like. what the fuck I know this is right for me so l #let it be right for me and stop trying to tell me it’s not. it’s not fair. just bc im in my 20s and still more in the Student world than in #the Working world doesn’t mean i am a desperate and deluded remora clinging to some underbelly like lol i am a person with a (n almost full #fully formed) brain and a good heart and i know who i am and i know what will make me happy and i know where i can make the best contributio #n so let me fucking do it and don’t give me shit about it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #right like i have TIME to decide if i want to change jobs and right now it doesn’t feel right so why are you pushing me if your motto is #live in the moment and if your other motto is i owe you nothing. bc …… i don’t owe you changing my job and leaving academia bc that’s what y #you did. i am not you. i am being myself and i am living in the moment. lol 🤨 #also * i would get to determine our entire creative expression / storytelling programming BECAUSE i am me. like it’s not just they need some #someone to do that it’s like because i am me and that’s what i bring.. idk how to describe it but it’s not just someone looking for a consul #consultant it’s like we’re changing the world and i am part of the core of it and always have been and always will be so shut the fuck up 💖 #also (im gonna hit tag limit help) let me make mistakes lol? like if this is really a mistake wouldnt it be better for me to make it and lea #rn on my own rather than follow advice you’re giving me when you aren’t in my shoes. exdee. like if i mess up then let me and i’ll deal w it #then but im not gonna close the door on this thing ive wanted so badly for 4 fucking years just bc i want it. that would be stupid! lol