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#the boys burned down brother qiu-ge's house the one time he bought them dinner and he never forgot
randomprose · 9 months
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“What are you doing?”
Guan Shan doesn’t pause as he drops a piece of stir fried carrot on He Tian’s bowl.
“Feeding you, you ungrateful dick.” Guan Shan says over a mouthful of sweet and sour fish. And then, just to prove his point, he also picks up a slice of mushroom and deposits it on top of He Tian’s rice. “Eat up.” 
“What am I a rabbit?” He Tian grouses as he picks at the different vegetables Guan Shan kept on piling at his bowl over the course of dinner. There’s not even any meat in it. “I don’t remember being a vegetarian.”
“Oh, believe me. I know you’re not.”
He Tian makes a face at the greens on his bowl which Guan Shan pointedly ignores. Beside them, Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi are fighting over the last piece of shrimp. On both ends of the table sit Qiu-ge and He Cheng quietly eating and the only ones exercising proper dining etiquette. 
Zhan Zheng Xi snags the last piece of shrimp but willingly relinquishes at Jian Yi’s pout. Qiu-ge rolls his eyes at the exchange as he reaches between them for another slice of pork feet.
They weren’t supposed to be part of dinner. The whole affair was supposed to be just for two. He Tian got a new place downtown and asked (read: demanded, made) Guan Shan come over and cook them a housewarming dinner. Ten minutes into Guan Shan bossing around He Tian to cut vegetables, the doorbell rang because somehow Jian Yi found out and wanted a free meal as usual. He bodied his way in with Zhan Zheng Xi in tow because where Jian Yi goes he goes. 
He Cheng and Qiu-ge arrived just as they were setting the table. He Tian had hit Jian Yi over the head for being a blabber mouth and didn’t want to let them in, but Qiu-ge muttered something about a burned house and a flooded bedroom as he pushed He Tian aside. He never did forget that incident the one (and only) time he bought them dinner. At least they brought dessert and wine. The good expensive kind. 
Guan Shan just thanked all fuck he followed his gut and made enough food to feed more than four.
He moves to put a piece of bok choy on He Tian’s bowl but his chopsticks get intercepted. He looks up and meets He Tian’s eyes. 
Stop. Don’t you dare.
His hand moves and drops it on the bowl anyway, delicately balancing it amidst the rice and all the other vegetables He Tian has moved around and still refuses to eat.
I dare.
“Fuck, Guan Shan. If you insists on shoving a balanced meal down my throat at least put some meat in it too.”
“Fine,” Guan Shang sighs muttering ‘picky eater, fucking child’ under his breath. “There.”
He puts a piece of chicken breast on He Tian’s bowl. Steamed. No Sauce. White meat.
He Tian sends him an annoyed smile. The glint in his eyes tells Guan Shan he’s about to try his patience some more and do something stupid.
“I’ll eat the vegetables if you feed them to me, darling~.”
He Tian says this with a sugary smile not caring if He Cheng is literally on the same table and witnessing his brother acting shamelessly. His tone is lilting with the pet name as an annoyingly cloying cherry on top, all meant to embarrass Guan Shan, he knows, but years of being exposed to He Tian’s shamlessness has somewhat immuned him to his antics. Somewhat.
This is one of those times. Guan Shan takes food and nutrition very seriously. 
“Fine.” Guan Shan picks up the piece of bok choy and puts it near He Tian’s mouth. “Open up.”
He Tian rears back as he looks at the piece of vegetable like it personally offended him. Then he looks at Guan Shan, nonchalantly but expectantly holding up his chopsticks as if feeding a child, and glares.
“Mo Guan Shan.” A warning.
“He Tian.” A challenge.
The table has grown silent as everyone watches the exchange. He Cheng sips at his wine and continues to eat, acting like he doesn’t care and pretending the scene in front of him doesn't interest him, but He Tian knows he’s waiting as well. No one has ever succeeded in making him eat his vegetables. Not the baby sitters, not the maids, not He Cheng, not even their own mother.
He Tian’s glare intensifies, feeling like a cornered animal. There’s oyster sauce dripping down the bok choy’s stem. He tries to convey a promise of wicked retribution to try and scare Guan Shan into backing down but he just meets He Tian's glare with a look that says 'If you don't eat your vegetables I will never cook for you again. Ever.' 
And He Tian can say he doesn’t care. It’s just food after all and he's got the money to eat good food whenever the fuck he wants if he feels like it. But the truth is it’s a real threat because he’s always really liked Guan Shang’s food. His cooking has truly elevated ever since he started apprenticing under a chef that own’s a famous family restaurant at Dongcheng. He’s saving up money to go to culinary school next year. Get proper professional training and get certified. When that happens, Guan Shan’s food is gonna be stupidly hella good and if He Tian doesn’t yield now Guan Shan will surely make good with his threat. He'll probably still cook for Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi just to spite him and He Tian really doesn’t want that.
So He Tian opens his mouth and lets Guan Shan feed him his stupid vegetables. 
Beside them, He Cheng stifles a smile through his wine glass. ‘Whipped’ his eyes taunts and He Tian glares at him acidly through his mouthful of bokchoy. 
Later, when the table has been cleared and they’ve all had dessert, He Cheng gets a call and he and Qiu-ge excuse themselves to leave. He Tian walks them to the door, anticipating an order or a job assignment. There usually is something whenever He Cheng gets a call that requires him to leave immediately.
“Nice wife you got there,” He Cheng comments as he puts on his coat.
A teasing instead of an order.
It catches He Tian off-guard. His eyes stray to where Guan Shan is making Jian Yi do the dishes while Zhan Zheng Xi cleans the pots and pans. He’s got a plain white apron on and a towel drying a plate Jian Yi has finished washing. He makes him redo it when he deems it not clean enough. The kettle sounds off and Guan Shan goes to turn it off. There’s three mugs with instant coffee on the counter and one with a teabag of green tea for Jian Yi.
And suddenly, He Tian is hit with the word. Wife. Guan Shan will blow his top off if he finds out he’s being referred to as such so He Tian thinks of another word. Husband. The word hits him like a freight train, heady with the images it implies. 
Fuck. He Tian will gladly be called the wife if he gets to call Mo Guan Shan his husband.
“He’s uh—Huh. Hm. Yeah. That’s—He’s…Yeah.”
He Cheng follows Qiu-ge out the door. He lights up a cigarette, shaking his head at his brother and thinks, 'Whipped'.
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