#the dynamic with Hob and Morpheus is pretty much the exact same as the hot mess au

[linddzz]

My brain is on human Dreamling again where everything is pretty much the same as the Red Flags AU but instead they meet when Johanna forces Morpheus to go to a pub with her because she's sick of being the more emotionally stable one since his divorce and then the crashed and burned rebound with Thessaly. He needs to get social and get his shit together so it can be her turn to have a breakdown damnit.

So she takes him to The New Inn, where she actually likes the bartender and knows the dude would make friends with anything. Hob Gadling is an unstoppable force of chill friendly vibes and charm. Either he is going to get her bitchy friend out of his shell a bit OR it's going to be a fun night watching Morpheus play the confused and alarmed cat being confronted with an unstoppably friendly golden retriever. Win-win.

And she knows...she knows that it's a risk introducing Morpheus to an intelligent person who has a charming smile and big dark eyes. There is a huge risk that Morpheus will find out the bartender is also a history professor who likes Medieval literature, and he's going to get that keen hungry look to him.

But hey, Morpheus only really gets interested in people if they go after him first. And he's pretty but his fucking attitude is great at sending the red flags hot mess signals to every other adult around. Hob's a smart one. He's friendly but generally flirty and charming with everyone, and he's seen enough hot mess types at the bar to know what the signs are. So this should be safe.

Right????

And at first it does go fine! Morpheus has shoved himself into the far edge seat at the bar and been a huge bitch the entire time because he's been forced out by Johanna. He's sneering at every attempt by Hob to engage in friendly chit chat, already stole Johanna's drink, threw a fit and outright said "I am not above making a scene" when she took his phone so he couldn't read one of his e-books (he pulled an actual book out of his bag right after), and is overall being fucking awful. This is a man in his 30s and acting like this. He is a father. All is well. He had surely scared off any initial interest his pretty face got him. Johanna can rest easy that no one is going to make any moves that Morpheus can then fixate himself on and start working himself into spiralling fantasies of soul mates and wistful sighs.

Cue the comedy beat where she turns around for ONE SECOND and when she looks back she sees;

Hob, elbows on the bar and chin in his hands entirely up in Morpheus' space: hey ;)))

Johanna: ......fuck

Morpheus: ...................................*closes his book*

Johanna: FUCK!!!!!!!!!

#GOD FUCKIN DAMNIT GADLING #GADLING NO ITS LIKE FEEDING A FERAL CAT YOU CANT GIVE HIM A SCRAP #I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART GADLING WHAT THE FUCK #Dreamling #human au #the dynamic with Hob and Morpheus is pretty much the exact same as the hot mess au #honestly they could be melded together and still turn into a '''fake date'''“ scenario