#the site was also v pretty. lots of wildflowers. however. whatever was tossing out lots of pollin was murdering my face

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#todsy the universe was kind to us ad we didnt have to collect samples on our transects so we finished after only like a couple hours #we had to do a lot of getting around on ATVs so we got back around 4.30 or something #the drive up was really pretty. lots of trees and streams bc we were going up in elevation it was v different #the site was also v pretty. lots of wildflowers. however. whatever was tossing out lots of pollin was murdering my face #i had snot literally pouring out of my face. it was crazy. it was like i was crying from my nose #sneezing all the time and my throat was tight if i walked to one side of the transects so i think it was the pine trees #my nose is so raw now and my lips are like horrifically chapped #like ive got that horrible sicky feeling u get when ur nose has running too much #like down the back of my throat. blah. #sigh... 2 sampling days left and then 2 dats if traveling #ive got a bad feeling abt tomorrow's site. hopefully im wrong #my boss keeps implying that i want to kill her and i csnt tell if its just bc that's what ppl say abt non talkative ppl or if im #just giving off horrible vibes. could b both. its so frustrating tho. like im not plotting anything. i just dont have anything to say rn #and irrationally i feel really guilty for not working on anything when i get back. which is insane bc im physical and mentality exhausted #but i just get back and draw whole time and not in a way that's even satisfying bc half my brain is still on high alert bc there r ppl #around. i sat outside and cried for like a minute bc im too aware of them to even have a proper cry #like i just keep looking at the windows like who's gonna see me? hhhh exhausting #and i think my boss has to finish a poster tonight and its 11 now and shes still in the room on the computer #am i gonna have to stay up until she finishes bc i get freaked out by ppl being awake while im asleep? maybe. i guess we'll find out #and i swear if i bleed thru these fucking sweatpants tonight im gonna lose it #fuck. i shoulf habe put on running shorts when i got ready for bed #now im stuck here 😑 #unrelated