#the staff were totally Perplexed that I wasn't willing to pay out the ass for tooth straightening maintenance

[icannotgetoverbirds]

I'M FREE BITCHES

PERMANENT RETAINERS BEGONE

#byrd chirps #Byrd's business #the staff were totally Perplexed that I wasn't willing to pay out the ass for tooth straightening maintenance #which mind you is 99% cosmetic #CROOKED TEETH MY BELOVEDS #my teeth were never that crooked to begin with #anyways the main reason I'm doing this is because the fuckers kept breaking on me #and every time they did I'd end up with a sharp-ass wire cutting my fucking tongue and lips #so i decided i was done with it and got them removed! #straight teeth are fucking overrated anyways #my wife has crooked teeth and i love them on her #anyways for $500 can anybody tell me why i might be salty about being forced to get permanent retainers? #here's a hint! I'm a filthy transgender who believes in radical bodily autonomy! #terfs are gonna try so hard to clown on me for this if they manage to wrap their brains around the point I'm trying to make #but the point stands regardless of what they think #I'm sure one of y'all can articulate it better than i can #anyways that's enough of my ramblings #the point is NO MORE STUPID MOUTH WIRES TO FUCK ME UP WHILE I'M LITERALLY JUST EXISTING