#then i was thinking about how this world would need to have some badass exteriminators

[abronzeagegod]

Eldritch Tech Support 4

more eldritch tech support stories

Today was a slow day for you. You didn't have much work come in, and you're just hanging out in the call center waiting for one of the field techs to call you with a problem. So far, you haven't had anything to do really. Some minor problems, nothing too complicated. It's been a good day to do nothing and get paid.

Then you get the call.

"How can I-" you start but are immediately cut off by very loud yelling.

"IT'S LYTHA!" your coworker yells on the line. Normally you'd have to go through security and employee ID numbers and job listings and stuff, but this sounds bad. "I NEED YOU TO CALL EXTERMINATORS! FUCK FUCK FUCK! THERE'S A SPIDER WITH SEVEN HEADS AND IT'S VERY MAD!"

You swear out loud, and slap the red alarm button.

The red light flashes over your desk and you can tell the call center has gone utterly silent as all non-job related tasks immediately stop.

You keep Lytha's line open as you quickly call up her jobs. She's currently on a job out in the Clutches.

"Employee needs exterminators," you say into a second line that opened the moment you pushed the button. "Employee 1419 is on site at 311 North Vellaturine, in the Clutches. Reports of multiheaded spiders-"

"FUCKING SHIT! I THINK THERE'S SOME TENTACLE THING HERE TOO!" Lytha yelled over the phone loud enough to be heard across the silent room. "MY GUESS IS SOMETHING FROM THE VOID AND ONE OF THE HELLS ARE HERE AND THEY'RE FIGHTING OR FUCKING OR BOTH!"

You repeat, with less color commentary, what Lytha reported to the Exterminators.

The Exterminator's operator acknowledged what you were saying. "Understood. Class One operation approved, Exterminators are en route to your location. Be advised heavy weaponry has been approved, as has magic. Please inform anyone in the building to evacuate immediately, police have been informed."

"Lytha!" you say to your coworker. "Lytha! The Exterminators are coming! Get out of there!"

"I'M FUCKING TRYING BUT ALL THE DOORS LEAD TO OTHER DIMENSIONS!"

"Oh... shit," you say. You repeat this to the Exterminators who do something that you never thought you'd live to hear.

"Oh fuck."

The Exterminators are the badasses of the tech world, fixing creatures and beings and banishing things that shouldn't be here. To have them be worried, that chills you to your soul and spine.

"Be advised, we have a level zero breach," the operator said. "Repeat, be advised we have a level zero breach."

You're dimly aware of the fact that there is no movement, no sound in the call center. Everyone is listening to your conversation without breathing or speaking.

"We are sending in the Knight of Doors," the operator said. "We're doing our best to get there as fast as possible. Do whatever you can to keep your people alive and safe."

Your boss was standing behind you and didn't even notice until she started yelling. "Kel! You did that job for the Chaos Seekers last month, get them on the phone and ask for a Blessing Against the Chaos for Lytha!" Their other head turned and pointed at another tech support person. "Devin! Find out if that war demon we helped a few months back is willing to offer a War Boon to our people!" You then feel a hand on your shoulder. You boss turns to you. "Do your best, and if you have a favorite god now is a good time."

A flurry of activity exploded into the tech center. People started calling up friends, clients, and even a few rivals to see if there was something that they could do to help out their coworker.

But all of that cut out when Lytha screamed over the phone, a scream that sounded bad.

"OH FUCK!"

"Help is coming, Lytha!" you say instantly into the phone, trying to remain somewhat calm and stamp down on the tremor and fear in the voice. "The Knight of Doors is coming!"

"Oh that's good," Lytha says with lots of hard breathing. "I'll have something attractive to look at as I go out and a nice voice in my ear."

"Don't do that," you scold. "Don't be fatalistic!" Your trying to fight back the emotions.

"We had some good times. The chaos of this whole thing is really quite interesting if you think about it. And this will be an excellent story to tell later."

Your boss touches your shoulder again. "It's ok," she whispers with one mouth, "the Chaos Seekers gave Lytha a blessing, but it comes with some... side effects. Like being a bit too into the whole 'Abyss is beautiful and deserves our respect and admiration' thing. She's not actively dying."

"Oh, thank fuck," you mutter. You focus back on Lytha, "Well you'll just have to tell me all about it over several drinks later."

"Advisement, Exterminators are on scene. Police ETA 3 minutes. Knight of Doors is Traveling," chimes in the operator.

There's the sounds of crashing and fighting on the line from Lytha.

"Holy shit," Lytha breathes out in reverential awe. "The Knight is something else."

The sounds from the phone are impossible to describe. The sounds of combat and chaos and hell and the magic of the Exterminators combine with more conventional sounds of weapons fire.

"Asset retrieved," said a deep and dark voice that you feel in your bones. "We are traveling to safety."

Suddenly Lytha's line went dead.

The call center has gone entirely silent once again.

The moment of silence is interrupted when a shining door suddenly appears next to your desk. The door was massive, easily 10 feet tall and 5 feet wide and made of a color that you can't quite fathom but your brain manages as "blue?"

The blue? door opens and out walks Lytha, covered in slime and blood followed by the Knight of Doors. They barely fit through their own door.

Contrary to the name the Knight wears almost no armor, but their skin looks like it could be an armor of its own. Dark, smooth, but sharp rock-like armor covers their body. They clear have some lineage directly connected to the Children of the Earth. The Knight was big in every way and extremely attractive with a massive sword and battle axe on their back.

"There you are," says the deep but soft voice of the Knight that covered you like warm molasses. "You are safe now. You should seek medical attention. I shall return to the battle."

"Thank you," Lytha says with a little smile.

"Wow," you say, stunned.

The Knight nods and walks through their blue? door once again.

Your boss heaves a heavy sigh of relief. "Ok, everyone! Take a twenty minute break, get your legs back, and then we really should return to work." Then your boss turns to you, "Take Lytha and get her to a hospital."

You nod and take Lytha's hand and pull her towards the exit and the hospital.

---

Three days later, the Exterminators and the police manage to contain the situation.

It turned out that Lytha was called in to clean off the viruses on the computer used by a den of drug dealers who were cooking some very illegal drugs, the kind of drugs that require ingredients from the Abyss.

The drug makers, being incredibly intelligent, made deals with devils to get the ingredients which resulted in the turf war between one of the numerous hells and the Abyss.

Then Lytha was called because several members of the drug dealers had a laptop that they used to go to many suspicious and shady websites.

Lytha was fine, she suffered a few injuries that required many large needles to inject her with various antibodies and such. She had to spend only two nights in the hospital but only for observation. You stayed the entire time.

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#my fiction #eldritch tech support #this one got away from me a bit #i was thinking about how tech support people probably run into some gross ass shit on the job because people are gross #then i was thinking about how this world would need to have some badass exteriminators #then somehow we got to here #i don't plan things out before i write them #also the knight of doors is a 13/10 and their name was picked by going through my tarot deck and misreading one of the cards #will this be a you x lytha thing? maybe who knows not me #i understand if this one isn't everyone's favorite