#then on tuesday i had yet another family dinner to say goodbye to my bro (lol)

[deus-ex-mona]

it sure has been quite a week

#g o d this week was such a mess™️ #i kicked off the week wrong (as always) with ~3h of sleep bc i can never fall asleep on monday nights (sadge) #and ofc i had to do 2 workstations’ worth of work bc lack of manpower lmao #then on tuesday i had yet another family dinner to say goodbye to my bro (lol) #even though he’d already been treated to at least 3 other meals by that point (lmao) #i still think my dinner treat from a few weeks back was the best though~~~~~~ a 4 course sky dining meal def tops any restaurant right~~~~~? #and on suiyoubi (my dudes) we boated him off to military training island for his mandatory enlistment. that sure was. an experience. #i still kinda regret finishing my meal at the military cafeteria place thing though… i was the only one at the table who finished it :( #even my big eater of a bro couldn’t finish his :( #and my mother has been making fun of me for finishing the (allegedly) huge portioned meal ever since :( #she keeps joking about enlisting me bc army food ✨clearly✨ suits my tastes :( ​truly sadded. #anyways it was back to work on thursday. which sucked. ofc. also bc i’d overslept by half an hour and had to rush. lmao. #anddddd on friday. my boss told me that i’d missed out on submitting one worksheet thing of results #even though i c l e a r l y remember doing the test it was for (and organising all of the worksheet things for the matter) #so my coworker and i just watched her sift through the stack of worksheets… only for her to actually find the ‘missing’ piece of paper #she then said ‘ok found it sorry’ so my coworker and i just went ‘(ʘ‿ʘ) okayyyyyyyyyy’ p. sarcastically and left her office #and ofccccc there was work on saturday too. yay. went to the pkm centre after that thoughhhh #which was fun yes. but. they didn’t have ✨c h a i r d e o x y s✨ on sale :((((( #they stopped selling goomy earrings and that huge plush too :( and the smaller goomy plushies for the matter :(((( #i realllyyy should’ve bought the goomy earrings while they were still available… even though they were like 8 bucks per stud #my goomy plushie collection remains unexpanded :( my jigglypuff collection grew by 1 though~~~~ #so now i have 3 official jigglies of varying sizes and 1 bootleg jiggly that looks. pretty horrifying in bad lighting actually #p. sadded by how my family calls my taste in pkm boring though… ‘it’s either jigglypuff or that purple thing’ they say… :(((( #aaaaaa i wish i could’ve bought that super cute plush of goodra holding a happily smiling goomy i saw on my trip… #it’s too bad that the plushies (there were like 2-3 of them) were locked inside a display cabinet :(((( it was so cuteeeeeeeee #though my fam would’ve made me put it back if i’d even managed to get it out back then lol. ‘that purple thing again?!’ they’d prolly say… #anyways. this sure was a week. im so tired. help #no clue how i should spend the rest of my night tbh… maybe beach sisters time? hmmmmmm. oh wells. #‘dai’ly shitpost of the day

[el-mroko]

My girlfriend has a dog. Tequila. I have a dog. Freja. I have a cat. Loki. I also have rats. Was three of them, now, with agreement with my girlfriend we adopted two more. I love them and treat them equally. She loves them equally too I’m sure.

We treat them as OURS pets. Not hers and mine, ours.

I adore her empathy and love and caring for furry friends. That’s how we met.

But lately things got nasty. 

For some time now I feel like I’m the only one thinking about their well-being, taking care of them, feeding them (rats, cause my mom feeds the dogs at ungodly morning hours), cleaning after them or cleaning rat’s cage, or lately evening going for a walk.

She does that, or helps me sometimes, but only when I ask about it (often a few times before she finally does that). It’s like, she’s tired, she’s sleep deprived, she’s sick, not feeling well. Or we can do it some other time, we can do it later, there are more important things... I usually say fine if it comes to her health or fatigue, I understand she feels tired or hurt, and I do cleaning alone. Because it was mostly about cleaning rat’s cage.

But we both go to work.

I work for 7-8 hours a day. On different shifts. Sometimes it’s whole week on 8 or 12 or 14, sometimes it’s 14pm today and 8am tomorrow.

Her work is worse. 8 to 12 hours a day, night shifts, morning shifts, depends.

We live together, in my mom’s house. We both get to work by train and tram which takes us two-three hours per day. My workplace is one tram stop farther than hers. Frequently we wait for each other to return home together. She comes to my work and waits an hour or I’m doing overtime waiting for her. I love journeys with her, even if it comes to usual ride home.

Last week was hard on us. We’re having quite a serious renovation moving to a different room. Changing floors, painting walls, all that. We’re doing it ourselves as my family always did those things and was good at it. It wasn’t precisely planned. Nobody knew when would we start. It happened my younger bro is on a leave and I decided to take two days off - Monday and Tuesday - so we could do more things.

Kas, my gf, couldn’t take a leave, so she helped us after work as much as she could. She had free Tuesday. Unfortunately she had morning shift this whole week, meaning she had to get up at 4am to get to work on 6am, usually to 14.30 or 15.30 so she returned around 16-17. It’s exhausting, I imagine. Additionally, she doesn’t like her work. Doesn’t like people there - not everyone, obviously, but sometimes it’s hard on her.

I try to give her a lift to our train station - it’s around 10-15 minutes walk from home - or pick her up when she’s back. I admit, I tend to fuse about her waking me up this early, but I always get up and start a car, wish her good day and kiss her goodbye. Dammit, everyone would complain a bit. I always tell her to wake me anyway, I’ll just grizzle my part, but always take her to the fucking station. She wakes me only sometimes. This week she woke me up only yesterday.

I’m no sure it was because she doesn’t like bothering me, or because I was ill. I got sick leave from Wednesday because of my laringitis. I felt like shit this whole week, but I tried to do as much as I could, to help my bros and my mom.

Despite being sick, having a fever and sore throat, I spent whole days accommodating our room, arranging books and clothes and other stuff. I also tried to take care of our new rats - I tried to introduce them to my pack so they wouldn’t be bullied. I wanted to give them space and provide them all with runs. I also wanted to take our dogs out but I just wasn’t able to.  Kas was working at work, I was working at home.

When she got back on Wednesday - she ate dinner, opened a beer, and went to sleep, which was fully understandable cause she slept only five hours day before. We’re cuddling, but soon I knew I have rats to take care of, and another room to make up - the one we occupied till now, with total mess and two separate rat cages (they weren’t yet introduced, hence more cleaning...). When she finally woke up, I just said she promised to help me, and promised to hang my bookshelf.

The atmosphere was tense.

When she got back on Thursday, she hung my shelf so I could busy myself with arranging books and adding final touches to our room. Then she started relaxing after work. Again, I was the one taking care of rats.

She always calls to pick her up. Which I do, day by day, everyday. Except yesterday, when I wanted to take our two dogs for a walk, because they’ve been home for a WHOLE WEEK, since SATURDAY to yesterday WITHOUT a SINGLE walk past a FENCE. Only running on our yard (it’s quite big), couple times a day (I took them once, on Tuesday, when Kas was home, for a run in fields behind my home).

I called her, having both dogs on a leash, that I’ll come on foot with girls to get her. I met with such a NO response I was in shock. She wants a ride because she’s tired. Dogs can wait.

An hour.

A day.

Next week.

I said no. I took them for a walk but didn’t get to the station. I figured they deserved better than 15 minutes after a whole week in a closet.

What I heard after I entered home hurt my deepest feelings. It was a low blow I was not expecting from her, ever.

She said I cared more about dogs and rats than her.

Till now I try to understand how and why she said that. How could she say it about her own dog. How could she say it about our pets, pets, that are dependent on us, totally. 

Pets I try to fill only minimal needs, because she DOES NOT DO THAT.

The little one, the young rat was adopted ill. He required nebulization and injections. I cared about it. Then, he was bitten quite bad, I cared for that too. She didn’t even ask how’s he.

I bought our dogs a toothpaste, cause Tequila has much worse plaque than ever. And I’m the one using it, remembering and thinking about using it.

It does not matter if I’m on a leave, sick leave, or if I go to work. It doesn’t matter if I get back at 16, at 21 or 23. I take care of all those things, or at least I try, because almost each time I get back home and ask if anything was done, the answer it  “no”.

I make her coffee, tea, breakfast if we get up together, we do both or I’m the one making it. Dinner is up to my mom or myself, supper or lunch or any meal, it’s always me. I’m the one serving sandwiches.I’m the one packing dinner to work. I’m the one making dinner FUCKING VEGGIES for work. I’m here to rub her back, to give her a massage, find something she can’t, translate thing she does not understand, make her a cocoa while she plays a game, clean a room so she can play a ps4 without a dust on a console.

When it comes to dirty work - I’m always there.

But I care more about dogs and rats than her.

#lęki i fobie bez znieczulenia #ive lost vg #pierdolenie i użalanie się nad sobą