#there's a fb group of autistic ppl from my country and they organize meetings once in a while but it's in another city lmao

[sgkjd]

i have this starvation To Belong and recently it keeps peaking and peaking i didn't know it could become this strong. i'm afraid to live and experience what actual peak of this starvation will look like. it's all i can think about, can't focus on any work, keep impulsively watching youtube and tiktok just to see people similar to me at least on my screen, keep watching series and live through them to feel like i'm Part of Something... i just need someone to See Me for who i am so bad it's so scary how this feeling makes me rely on anyone who just looks at me like i exist.

#its funny bc before i used to blame myself for not being open and vulnerable enough #but now even if i speak clearly about my needs people just dont seem to comprehend what i mean #like how difficult can it be i dont understand #anyways so im really trying to find an irl community where i could belong #but in this day and age is that even possible #there's a fb group of autistic ppl from my country and they organize meetings once in a while but it's in another city lmao #like a good 4 hour train ride away #u_u #i literally dont know how to go about finding community #and it's not like such info is written out in some book or manual #; words generated by me #vent cw