#this is something im realising becos while sometimes i watch streams i realise i do none of what

[lokh]

making friends involves showing up to places. i do Not show up to places

#im remembering that tiktok or whatever and like its tru i get it but also. #not even Places. i mean i cant even stay active on discord servers AKZNZNXXJD #but also realising its just. not. in my nature to like. interject in conversation????? #this is something im realising becos while sometimes i watch streams i realise i do none of what #people are like. there for. which is interaction #also im realising im not great at group talking. also less cues online #not that i know the cues or like. etiquette irl lmao #im also realising that part of it is obviously initiation like u gotta put urself out there and invite people #i will say that at least 60% is personal and its something that can be worked on #but growing up with the kind of parents where u couldnt go to peoples houses or bring them over #lets just say. i am not practiced at that either and it doesnt occur to me and i still like. #expect to be told no by my parents lmao #even when i did show up to places (uni) i didnt know how to Keep friends #simply because unless the topic of convo was being dictated (eg classwork) i wouldnt know what to say