#this man reeks of self loathing i want to bathe him in love and comfort

[nightmarist]

Some Zevlor Things —

EDIT 12/2/23: Added a few more things

A fellow Tiefling Hellrider, Tilses, is with him in the caves acting as his bodyguard. He sometimes calls her Tilly.

There is one bedroll in the caves shoved off in the far corner with a book titled "The Devil You Know: An Autobiography" - not sure if it's his personal writing or if he's reading it, either way it adds to the flavor of his of his tiefling pride (and/or anguish).

It reads:

Have you ever had a god change your blood? It is a horrifying thing, even for those who may desire it. Yet few tieflings wished for Asmodeus to claim their bodies, only be given no choice in the matter. It is not as if we were well-loved before the archdevil's gambit. Our people have always struggled against the notion of 'devilkin', as if a single drop of infernal ichor inescapably corrupts. How amusing, when so many others willingly sell their souls to fiends, yet their culture as a whole escapes the blame. By what method can we redeem ourselves, when the crime is not ours? I would drive a blade into every warlock that aided Asmodeus' damned ritual, but personal vengeance cannot undo the will of a god, much less one as slippery as the Lord of Lies. When every passerby thinks you a thief and heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one. (cut off) The only thing that has stopped me is knowing Asmodeus wants nothing more than for all of us to fall from grace.

Around the his table are Invasion Plans for Elturgard, Traveler's Guide to Baldur's Gate, Traveler's Guide to the Sword Coast Vol IV: The Risen Road (which aligns when he tells you earlier there are gnolls on the road), and "Front and Center: a Thespian's Memoir" that reads:

"... in fact, the greatest joy of my life hasn't been acting, but becoming. When you choose a character to play, you don't just wear a mask - you take a little bit of their soul for your own. Whoever you are in your heart of hearts, if only by the faintest note."

Zevlor aside I think this is a sweet quote for the player and player character relationship <3

Dialogue in the Caves:

Zevlor: I Hardly need a bodyguard, Tilses. This isn't Avernus. Tilses: No sir. At least the monsters there looked like monsters.

—

Tilses: Commander— Zevlor: Just Zevlor, Tilly. We're civilians now, remember? Tilses: With respect, sir — being a Hellrider is for life. They can't take — Zevlor: They can, and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that. Tilses: ... Yes, Zevlor

—

Tilses: The Watch or the Flaming Fist? Zevlor: Pardon? Tilses: When we get to Baldur's Gate. Where are we enlisting? Zevlor: I'm done soldiering, Tilly. I'd like a clean start. But go with the Watch. You're too honest to be a mercenary.

—

Zevlor: No word from the scouts, yet? Tilses: No sir. But if there's a clear path past the goblins, they'll find it. Zevlor: Yes, of course.

ITEMS —

in the Chest there is a bronze goblet, 46 gold, and a battle-worn blade. On his person he has his gloves (Hellrider's Pride), an apple, a camp supply pack, and the key to his chest.

The blade says:

A fine by well-used sword. It seemed to have once belonged to a holy order, but the indication of rank and patron deity at the hilt have recently been filed down.

The gloves' flavor text says:

A waft of sulphur emanates from this proudly-kept piece.

Celebration at the Camp:

"I should be out there, talking with them. In... Just a moment, maybe." "Is this everyone? Our numbers have grown so few..." "No more. I can't afford to lose any more of them." "No. Let them have fun. I'll be ruining it come morning anyway."

Mindfayer Colony:

Things he mumbles in the Pod:

The pod will show you his memories of Elturel:

After saving Zevlor, I forced myself to pick the "mean" options just to see how it goes.

If you tell him its his fault tieflings were imprisoned in moonrise, he says:

If you tell him "Do yo have a right to ask?" when he asks about the tieflings:

He doesn't argue with any of your remarks except one, when he says "For a moment I welcomed it" and you tell him "For a moment until you realized your reward would be a tadpole" he corrects you:

If you tell him if he wanted power he should live up to his own ideal:

If you tell him to get out of your sight:

When you tell him it's not his fault he was enthralled:

If you tell him "Fine. Good luck, Zevlor."

If you say you could use another blade in the fight to come:

At the Netherbrain:

(smiling <3)

"The journey has been brutal, but I stand here a Hellrider once more, and I would die a proud man if I died this day."

I know it's a Soldier thing to be proud to die for a cause but it still makes me worry for him given his background so far <:]

If you click on him, he has two unvoiced lines:

if you pickpocket him at this point, he'll have the same items on him as before (in this save he has a carrot instead of an apple for me).

His stats at this time: (Steeped in Bliss is from one of my items)

Post Game (Patch 5)

I don't know if there are other permutations of this letter, yet, but this is what I received:

I hope my penmanship has improved somewhat in the past months. When I first stumbled into this city, I shook so badly that I could scarcely hold the soup the priests pressed into my hands - let alone write and thank you as you deserve. It is only when the city itself began to shake that I felt my hands grow still. Along with the other veterans sheltering at the temple - discards of Elturel's 'unworthy' legions - I watched that monstrosity rise over the city. We felt no fear. Only anger. Disgust. Purpose - and with it, power. I do not know what oath we cling to now, or how long it will last - but we shall use it to ensure that this city will not suffer as Elturel did. Whether it wants us or not. It is more than thanks alone I owe. No words can make amends for what I did to my people, but that is as it should be. More come to the temple every day to aid in the relief efforts, and if I am permitted to work alongside them, then I am content. Come and see us, when you can. Zevlor

It's interesting — if not bitterswet, tragic, and inspiring — to hear that Zevlor and other Paladins regained their Oaths via pure, stubborn devotion to saving people when it began to look as bad as Elturel.

#zevlor #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #act 1 spoilers #act 2 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #this man reeks of self loathing i want to bathe him in love and comfort #i also want him carnally #act 3 spoilers #bg3 meta

[talpup]

Summary: Yami Sukehiro just wanted to join the Magic Knights and make his mentor proud.  He knew there would be trails.  He knew trouble would come his way.  Knew he would be faced with discrimination for being a foreigner and a peasant.  What he didn’t know.  Didn’t expect.  Was that literal Chaos would come his way.  That he and his mentor’s sister would be at the center of world ending trouble.  Or that he would fall in love with his mentor’s sister and face more than discrimination; but the jealously of Nozel Silva who loved the same woman he did.

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.  For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

If you read anything I'm offering this week it should be the chat in chapter 87 comments that I had with @XYZ25 over on ao3.

SERIOUSLY!! Their questions are always SO good and never fail to drive and inspire me; but this week things went off on a 'plot bunny' tangent about this fics version of Nozel eventually becoming Wizard King and Solid becoming King.  To better understand Solid becoming king you'd have to read the thread and the way the line of succession works in this fic.

Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you read the thread.  @XYZ25 came out with the BEST PS that I could totally and WANT to build a fic around.

Chapter 88

Teris woke up squinting at the bright sunlight shining through her bedroom window.  She wondered if only the night had passed or if she had been out longer.  Taking it as a good sign the she was home; she washed her face, brushed her hair, and changed.  She was still filthy and reeked of smoke, but a bath would have to wait until after she found out what happened.

Following her sense of Yami’s mana, she made her way to the Captain's office. Finding the door partially open, she knocked and entered.

“Good. You’re awake.”  Jax greeted.

“Hornsby?” Teris asked, taking a seat next to Yami before the Captain's desk.

“No one was lost but their crops completely were, and the town’s as good a gone.  Hage lost several crop fields but more than half were spared, and the town itself untouched.”  Jax told.

“From the sounds of it the high winds you all had at Hornsby spread the Wild Fire far and fast.  The Sorcery Lance’s that attacked us also didn’t hang around as long, nor did they go around lobbing jars of Wild Fire.”  Yami turned in his chair to face Teris, expression hard as concerned eyes looked her carefully over.  “What the hell were you thinking?”

Teris’ eyebrows furrowed.  “What?”

“I told him how you tackled the Sorcery Lance readying to throw a jar of Wild Fire.”  Jax told Teris.

“Oh.” Teris pulled at a hang nail.  “Sorry.”

“It that an apology or a question?”  Jax complained of her tone.

Upset and concerned as he was, Yami couldn’t stop his smirk.  “She has a knack for that.”

“What the hell were you thinking?”  Jax echoed Yami, scolding Teris.

“I—I didn’t.  I just acted.”  Teris said.

Jax ran a hand roughly over his face.

“Sorry.” Teris said in the same questioning tone.

“Damn right you’re sorry!  You could have died.  Instantly.”  Jax’s throat bobbed at how close he’d come to losing another Vice Captain.  Swallowing the emotion, he joked.  “Where would I have been then?  With Yami as my sole Vice Captain.”

“Captain’s right.  This only works if one of use acts without thinking; and that’s my thing, you can’t have it.”  Yami jested, squashing his needless worry.  Teris was here, safe and alive.

Teris looked between Yami and Jax, easily reading their concern.  This time her apology was genuine.  “I’m sorry.”

“No more leaping at foes throwing jars of Wild Fire.”  Jax told.

Teris couldn’t help but smirk at how crazy it sounded.  But that’s exactly what she had done.  She recalled the mans chard form crumbling to nothing beneath her and wrinkled her nose.  She met Jax’s eyes remembering what the Sorcery Lance that had stood above her said him.

Jax looked away, seeming to read her mind.  He cleared his throat and stood, suddenly needing some air.  “Don’t let her take away and do anymore of my work.”  He told Yami, exiting the office.

Yami grinned at Teris.  “Yes, sir.”

Teris looked after Jax in concern.  She had never known the Captain to date.  Not that she had ever paid attention to his private life.  But if what the Sorcery Lance had alluded to was true; remembering something like that so soon after his best friends death--

“They think the Spade Kingdom started the Wild Fires.”  Yami said, breaking into her thoughts.

“What gave them that idea.  The fact that Sorcery Lances attacked throwing jars of it?”

Yami’s lip twitched upward at her heated sarcasm.  “Greywright said it was cause they wanted us to know they started the Wild Fires and did it in retaliation for Rayla’s death.”

Teris scowled.  It was pointless telling Yami what he already knew.  But even if they had killed Rayla, it would’ve been justified.  Then again Rayla had said her King hadn’t known of her actions.

Teris rubbed her eyes, hoping this mess wouldn’t cause a war.  Along with Sir Jorah, it would be Greywright’s job to make sure that it didn’t escalate to that.  Did she really want such a job?  Would someone come along during her time as Magic Knights Commander and create a similar mess to the one that she and Yami had caused?  She hoped not. Even if Teris didn’t want the job, which she did, she didn’t have much of a choice.  Only the rank of Magic Knights Commander or Wizard King would save her from banishment.  She refused to have Yami fight to free her from her family.  Even if the brother Yami would face was Fyntch and not Julius.

Yami looked Teris carefully over again.  With her not having bathed yet, it was difficult to tell how injured she was.  Clearly there were no terrible wounds and she didn’t appear to be in obvious pain. Still, he wished they could feed off of each others mana.  It had been almost a year since they’d been able to do so.  Almost a year since the Summer Solstice had churned the core of their mana so badly that they couldn’t trust letting their mana get near the others. It was like living in a too small cell; unable to take a full, deep breath.

Yami gripped her wrist, pulling her hand away from her face.  “What’s the matter?  Still weakened from playing catch with Wild Fire?”

Teris would’ve laughed if her head hadn’t been buzzing with everything she had learned the past few days.  Jax’s possible tragic love life the least disconcerting discovery.  She had barely begun to examine what had been done and said while they were captive in Rayla’s lab. She hadn’t even started to process what they’d been told about Advisor Ellara...

She tugged against Yami’s grip till it loosened from her wrist.  Her hand slid down his wrist to hold his hand.  His presence comforted her like nothing else could.  His calm, sure strength sheltered and steadied her.  With Yami, she could do anything.  Face anything.  It had nothing to do with the combination of their magic and the destruction it could cause.  Yami was her anchor in the chaos of this world.  With him at her side.  With him as her home.  She had the inner strength and will to face whatever came their way.

“They lied.”  Teris said.

Yami frowned, eyebrows furrowing.  “Who?”

“Greywright. Sir Jorah.  Julius and Jax too I guess.”  Teris said.

Her hand tightened around his. The other balled into a fists.  Teris didn’t know if the built up mana would have killed Yami, or caused him to experience something similar to what she had gone through on the Summer Solstice; nor did she care.  Rayla had put Yami’s life in danger. Fuegoleon and Nozel had been injured and put in danger as well.  The fact that the Agents of Chaos had been the ones to find and help them left her with a strange mixture of anger, self loathing at her weakness, and a sense of indebtedness.

Swallowing those emotions, Teris said. “After the Summer Solstice, Sir Jorah said they would tell us everything.  From the Agents of Chaos and what they knew of them, down to anyone else who had an interest us. Never once in that telling did they mention the Spade Kingdoms Magical Science division. Yet Greywright clearly knew of their interest when he spoke to Rayla.”

Yami pulled his hand free and leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs. He hadn’t caught that, and understood why Teris would be upset about it.  They faced so many dangers already.  To learn that there were even more groups wanting at them only added to the danger. Yet what good would knowing do?  Greywright had known of the Spade Kingdoms interest in them and had wound up in Rayla’s lab right along with them.  They had thought they’d known the Agents of Chaos wanted them for the Winter Solstice.  Wrong as they were, the Agents of Chaos had proven they knew exactly where they had been hidden and could get to them.

Yami shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe they forgot.”

“Forgot?” Teris echoed.

Yami scratched the back of his neck and admitted.  “I’ve forgotten the names of all the other groups other than the Agents of Crazies. Maybe they forgot when telling us too.”

“Yami--”

“Do you trust them?”  Yami cut in.

Teris stopped and blinked.

“Do you trust Julius, Jax, and Greywright?”  Yami asked.

“Of course I do.  But--”

“Then it doesn’t matter.”  Yami said over her.  At her expression, Yami plucked at her pant leg.  “We’ve got bigger things, Ikigai.” When she didn’t respond to the nickname in the accustomed way, he sighed.  “What’s this really about?”

Teris looked away.  Learning that yet another group was interested in them. That Yami had been contacted by the page of Chaos at least twice and hadn’t told her.  That the Wizard Kings Advisor was working either for or with the Agents of Chaos, and effecting Sir Jorah to some degree; and Julius, Jax, and Commander Greywright had kept it from them all this time. It was all too much. She was tired.  Tired of the secrets.  Tired of being hunted, wanted, preyed upon because of some supposed primordial power she didn’t understand, hadn’t asked for, and would gladly give up if it meant she and Yami could live in relative safety and peace.

“I don’t like secrets.”  Teris said.

Yami licked his lips.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the page of Chaos sooner.  I should’ve.”

“Damn right you should have.”  Teris snapped.

Yami’s tender, loving eyes met her fiery ones.  “You were already upset cause of that mess with Rayla.  I didn’t want to worry you more.”

“Don’t you think I can take it?”

“Ikigai.” Yami gave a chucking scoff at the stupidity of such a question.  Of course he thought she could take it.  Teris could take anything.  But just because she could didn’t mean she had to.  It didn’t mean he wanted her to.  What kind of future husband would he be if he didn’t seek to shield and protect the woman he loved?

“What does that mean?”  Teris implored, a slight tired whine entering her voice.

Yami smiled, chuckling further.  “You want me to start keeping record of the times that blasted thing contacts me?”

“Yami.” Teris rolled her eyes.

“Don’t sound that like.  I know how you love your notes.  You’re almost as bad as the paper sniffers in Magic Investigations.”

“Am not!”  Teris playfully smacked him.

Yami laughed.

Teris smiled and shook her head.  “You’re terrible.”

“Terribly in love with you.”

“Stop it.”  Teris blushed.

“It’s true. I’ve got it bad.  Bad enough to be willing to keep some stupid record if you wanted me to.”

“You don’t need to keep record.  But if it starts happening regularly, I expect you to tell me.  I really don’t like secrets.”  Whether it was the timing.  The way Yami was looking at her.  Or the fact the she felt like a total hypocrite having said such a thing.  Teris said. “Nozel kissed me.”  Her eyes widened at her confession, and hurried to explain.  “I didn’t want him to.  It happened a long time ago.  More than a year ago in the stables at Nova House.  I didn’t kiss him back.  I—”

“I know.”  Yami said, ending her babbling explanation.

Teris stared, breath caught in her lungs, leaving her unable to speak.

Yami inhaled deeply, shoulders relaxing as he slowly exhaled. He hadn’t realized there had been a lingering weight from it all until it was gone.  No doubt Teris felt the same relief. His lips twitched slightly upward, though he was unable to hold the smile.  “I’m glad you finally told me.  Glad you finally trusted me enough.”

“I trusted you.”

“Not in this.  Not back then.”

“I—I--” Teris lowered her eyes and mumbled.  “I didn’t know what you would do. I was afraid you might do something that got you in trouble.  Afraid you might think I wanted it and led him on.”

Shaking his head, Yami muttered.  “How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

Teris’ head snapped up at that.

Yami huffed at the temper in her eyes.  “That’s right.  I called you stupid.”  He stood and pulled her up with him.  “Do you think I led Rayla on?  Wanted her to kiss me?”

“What? No.”  Teris said, fiercely.

“Well then?”  Yami’s arms wrapped around her waist. “I mean it when I say I trust you with him, Teris.  That I trust you with anyone.”

Teris hugged him.  Yami was right, she hadn’t trusted him enough in this or else she would have told him sooner.  Guilt over the unwanted kiss and having hid it from him gone, she murmured into his shoulder.  “I love you.”

Yami’s arms tightened around her.  “Thank mana for whoever dropped you on your head.”

Teris pulled back and looked at him.

“It’s the only reason I can find for you loving me.”  Yami said.

“Shut up and kiss me.”  Teris pulled him down and kissed him before he could obey.

88.2

‘Trust me.  I got this.’ Jax’s eyes squeezed shut at the last words he had said to the woman he thought he would marry.  He had been cocky.  A newly promoted Vice Captain taking his girlfriend out on date.  He hadn’t gotten a ring yet but he had been planning to.  And then a team of Sorcery Lance’s, looking for an escaped citizen, had attacked a nearby village.

Of course they had rushed to help.  Jax was a Vice Captain, and Belinda a Senior Magic Knight.

Both Bronn and Julius had told him it wasn’t his fault; their various reasons sound and reasons Jax had given others who had lost a comrade in the filed.  But his friends words had rung hollow.  Belinda had been more than a comrade.  And they hadn’t been out in the field.  They had been on a date.

If only he had pick somewhere else for them to go.  If only he had made them wait for back up.  If only...  If only...  If only...

Jax’s hand closed around a scorched piece of fabric.  Threadbare from years of being carried in his pocket.  From being taken out and rubbed.  It was the only piece he had left of her.  A torn piece of her squad cloak that had ripped when a wave of lava from a Sorcery Lance’s attack had crashed through and took her from him.

Until last night, he hadn’t revisited that horrible day in over three years. Sure she still occasionally came to mind, his hand often drifting into his pocket seeking the last remnant he had of her when she did.  But he had finally stopped reliving the terrible torment of that day.

Or so he thought.

“Thought I’d find you here.”  A familiar voice sounded from behind.

“It was where I use to pick her up when we snuck out of base after lights out.” Jax said, eyes on the scrap of fabric in his closed hand.

“And left me in a sticky situation cause as Vice Captain I was expected to stop such things.”  Julius said.

Jax huffed, slipping the fabric back into his pocket and turned to his friend.  “Doing your duty or looking away while your friend and your future Vice Captain had a secret meet up couldn’t have been an easy decision.”

“It was easier than you think.”  Julius smirked, shrugging a shoulder. His smile fell.  “She would've made a fine Vice Captain.  Certainly more fun and forgiving than Jon.”

Jax nodded, feeling silly at the tears that still gathered after so long.

Julius produced a bottle.  “I brought her favorite drink.”

“That crap.”  Jax laughed, despite himself, remembering how he told Belinda it was nothing more than rotten grape juice.

Julius pulled another bottle out from under his squad cloak.  “I also brought your favored whiskey.”

“Now you’re talking.”

Julius moved beside him.  The two men sat on the ground facing the stream that was part of the border for the Azure Deers property.

Julius watched Jax open what use to be Belinda’s favorite wine.  “I should've been there.  I’m sorry.”

For a moment Jax wasn’t sure if Julius was talking about last night or that terrible day.  Seeking to ease his friend's needless guilt, he threw the bottles cork at him.

“Hey!” Julius wiped at the stain on his shirt.

“Like you can’t use your magic to fix it or buy a thousand new ones.”

“Not if I hope to cover your tab this month cause of that stupid bet.” Julius said.

“You’re only calling the bet stupid cause you lost.”

“Yeah, and?”

Jax chuckled.  “You’re a good friend, Julius.”

“I know.”

“And humble.”  Jax snarked.

Julius smiled, watching Jax lift the bottle of wine to his lips.  “I know that too.”

If you do go to ao3 to read that comment thread, feel free to jump in with any ideas and/or questions.

As always comments and reblogs are VERY MUCH appreciated.

Next chapter snippet:

“Don’t toy with me!  I’ll don’t care what memory mage I have to use. I’ll know everything you do even if it leaves you drooling and catatonic.”  Jax said.

“Just make sure you don’t call upon Advisor Ellara Shaw.”  Iban said, hands lifted in yielding submission.

#yami sukehiro #julius novachrono #Black Clover #light in the darkness