#time zones so thats hard to be responding within an hour & even if we were within the same zone that still seems very needy

[lokigodofaces]

why am i getting the sudden urge to rp again?

#liv won't shut up #i used to rp sometimes but dropped it a few years back bc the other people i did it with were way more involved than me #i would respond within 24 hours but that wasnt enough for some people #they wanted a response within an hour #which maybe thats just me but that seems impractical i mean idk where they live they dont know where i live we could be in different #time zones so thats hard to be responding within an hour & even if we were within the same zone that still seems very needy #idk maybe if i find better people it would be better but idk what to even do

[sexyfuckk77]

January 7 2021 Thursday 

love letters

I wasn’t gonna reply but I think I really have to let it out. I wrote this message about 6-7 times within hours this is like a p.s

From eve

I kinda don’t really know what to say. I read your email yesterday while I was with a friend and I kinda just spaced out and didn’t really listen to anything they were saying, it’s like I zoned out I didn’t cry or react.

I just idk how I feel about it.

I do not want you to feel bad or at fault or responsible for anything. You just wanted a friend and I get that. It’s nice sharing things with each other and being able to talk and having to express feelings towards each other.

When you reached back out to me I wasn’t over you I never chose to let go of you.

I always waited, I would think about you from time to time and I guess I just hoped in some way it would work out. You have a lot of qualities that I would want in a person and to tell you the truth I find myself wondering why I would want to do long distance when that is something I told you when I met you that I could never do.

The fact is I don’t think I will ever be able to just look at you as a friend, I will always look at you with interest. So with that said I can’t reach out to you anymore. I thought about deleting your number and I can’t find it in me to do it. So maybe this is hard for me to do but maybe it’s easier for you.

Don’t respond to me, don’t text me back.

I know I’ll text you and email you at some point or sometime this year I know how I am and I’m 100% sure I’ll do it.

Just do me the favor and don’t respond

I’ve fallen in love 2 times in my life and even tho I have not spent a lot of time with you

I definitely have Fallen in love with you

You are miles away and the way you’ve made me feel is beyond me. You are kind, you are sweet, you are one of the most genuine people I’ve met. You may have not loved me but you cared about me and made me feel very loved. You made me feel like the only girl in the world. I felt very special and beautiful. I swear to god no one has made me feel more beautiful then you have. You’ve given me a lot more then you might realize and maybe it’s why I feel this way towards you. You’ve given me so much affection and it’s what I love most in the world.

I’m thankful that I’ve been given the chance to see you happy and you’ve given me happiness.

You’re right I do deserve someone that will return the same emotion.

I just wish that person was you.

I hope you find what you’re looking for or want in life. I hope you meet someone that you can talk hours with about life, dreams, stupid shit and ambitions. I hope she makes you very happy and makes you feel like it’s just the two of you. I want you to feel special and cared for. I hope y’all can drink some beer and have a great time out haha. Oh and she likes to hike hehe

Maybe I’ll see you sometime in the future if we’re ever to be in the same city by chance and it just happens. maybe thats really unhealthy and I’ll be stuck in the same situation that I am in right now. Maybe it’s better that we never talk to each other again and just move on and forget. Just make it a memory that we will both look back on from time to time and laugh about or smile at or think... what would have happened? Or maybe this was it, maybe you are the love of my life and We never got the chance to date like two people that live in the same city. so I settle for some guy that I meet later in life and he makes me happy but he would never make me as happy as you would of probably made me.

I think about things like this a lot, of missed opportunities and situations that I put my self in. I might sound very crazy and dumb and you’re reading this and are thinking what the fuck. But I guess I just want you to know what I am thinking about.

I am very angry with myself and not angry with you and I can’t seem to figure it out.

I just got very sad and I want to feel empty I wish I never felt emotion like this. I want to be strong and be able to brush things aside and not really care but I am definitely not built that way. I think I have let more tears out this time then the first time. Now I for sure really know that I will never have you. I never really had you to begin with but I always thought there was a slight chance and possibility the cards will play in my favor.

I was happy with that one little possibility. I am very hopeful and like I said before I live in this fantasy world where I don’t plant my feet on the ground and I like to dream but now it’s time to wake up.

Ok I let it all out

I am done