#transfem people can go 'hey. this thing is actively harmful to us' and y'all will throw a fit and make every excuse possible

[starset-mnqn]

Dear lord. The transmisogyny on this site from transmasc people is absolutely insane. We're supposed to uplift each other! Why are y'all speaking over transfem people?!?

#obligatory disclaimer that i AM tme so i am not someone to ask about this #but goddamn... y'all will go on about how much you love transfem people #and then proceed to just sexualize them #and ignore them explaining when something is transmisogynistic #transfem people can go 'hey. this thing is actively harmful to us' and y'all will throw a fit and make every excuse possible #the bro/dude discourse... the afab transfem aita post.... there's more that im blanking on #i knew transmisogyny was rampant on here but this was very eye opening to me to see the extent within our own community #I'm not perfect by any means. but i try my best to stay openminded and learn #genuinely please inform me when i do or say something transmisogynistic so i can learn from it #(that also goes for anything else tbh. but transmisogyny is just the topic at hand here) #transfem people. i am so sorry that y'all get treated like this. y'all deserve so much better #delete later

[shoelace-and-friends]

Hey! Just fyi, when someone is talking about "baeddels", they're talking about a specific group that actively identified as such. They were a cohesive ideological group with specific beliefs. It's a similar situation to groups like "Dykes on bikes" (look them up, they are very cool) where the group is opting to be referred to like that. It obviously should not be used in general, but it is used to refer to the group that claims/claimed it as their group name. Unless it's being used in a generalized fashion, you can assume that the group being referred to is that one.

I know what it's supposedly supposed to mean, and my point still stands. Just don't fucking use that word.

I do not care if you don't agree with the ideologies of people who self-identify that way; that identity is still stemmed from a reclaimed slur that specifically targeted transfem people. That word was historically used to hurt people. I've seen that term as of late used primarily to criticize and accuse trans women of trying to harm or silence trans mascs when transmascs themselves were never the target of that slur.

Some reclaimed slurs are sort of a grey area in terms of who can use them (and i am not about to start discourse on those rn) but this one is a little more black and white.

Maaaaybe if you have a problem with something transfems are doing, at least don't call them slurs?

You're gonna have a real hard time getting transfems to listen to you when you try to express how you think they're silencing you when they tell you to not use or the change certain terms you've coined if in the process you're going to use a slur they reclaimed for themselves on them critically

Also not to mention that not all of the trans women that supposedly have the ideology you are critical of identify with that label either.

And not all trans women who use that label fit into the group you're complaining of.

And before someone tries to clown and compares this to "terf is a slur" discourse or some shit, this isn't nearly the same thing.

Sure it could've meant one thing on this website at some point and maybe at first y'all were talking about one specific group of trans women who just happened to identify with that word but it's since gotten blown out of proportion to basically mean "any transfem person I don't agree with." I have yet to see that term be used in a way that doesn't come off as hostile or accusative.

Like...I fucking hate this rising transmasc vs transfem fighting. It's clear there's a lot the trans community needs to sort out with itself but if we want to express our grievances and try to get transmascs and transfems to be more understanding of each other than holy shit try to be a bit more civil when going about it.

#just don't say it it's not that hard #it discredits the whole fucking transandrophobia movement btw #as a fluid person who often identifies with the transmasc label this is so fucking embarrassing #like...i WANNA support y'all because some of the points you guys have are actually really good #but at the same time i want NOTHING to do with people who are part of this movement because a lot of you are shitty in the process