#ughghghghggghghgh

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i would LOVE to stop having dreams forever actually

#surprise surprise guess who it wss about #i was in a mall w my brother and we were soooo chillin #found a cool hoodie that i want irl now. was walking to the checkout and guess who walked in with a group of her friends #(who used to be my old friends. btw.) #and we. locked eyes and i looked away and scurried up to the register like a fucking prey animal #and after i paid for it there was like this barrier thing between the register line and the rest of the store #and as i was goinf aroundnthat i ran into her by accident and dropped my stuff #and i had to sit there and listen to her indirectly speak about me to her friends even thiugh i was right there and #jghughgughh writing this out makes it feel like the most stupid high school drama thing but #i remember looking up from the floor and seeing one of my old friends and like. pleading w her for any sort of help #and she looked. sad but didnt do shit #so i just had to. run out tail between legs like a fucking coward #and the entire rest of the dream walking aroundnthe mall they would come into every store i eas in like. 4 minutes behind me #just enough time for me to. forget abt the experience and try to enjoy myself #only to see yhem again a minute later and remember why im running for my goddamn life #ughghghghggghghgh #dont. look at me. #and now its like 10 am which means ive slept in and i fucking hate sleeping in bc i lose like half the day #this is valuable time i could have spent being productive or something. fuck

[beep-beep-bill]

Ughghghghggghghgh

#I hate myself #and I want to die #and everything is going wrong #and my life is falling apart #and I've been suicidal for two weeks straight #but I can't talk to anyone about it because approximately 0% of my friends care #I just really want to be done living and call it good