#up. clogged. just 800 disjointed jumbled words in and. god. yeah. no. I'm losing actually

[flowercrowngods]

I'm taking your post as permission to poke and prod and say, 'you can do it!'

Don't let this chapter kick your butt, you got this!!

it's kicking my butt :( it really, really is

#thank you friend I appreciate you so much 🤍🥺😭 #but I'm really losing. and I refuse to yield but GOD with every sentence there's another thing I should be writing instead because #there is so much going on inside his head and there's flashbacks there's memories there's fear there's focus there is trauma #there is obsessive thoughts. so many of them now. he's spiralling but GOD so am I and I cannot make sense of it. or make nonsense of it #in a way that's like clever and fun to read and GOD fucking dammit why is trauma like that? why is terror like that and fucking-- #like. sometimes people tell me 'you write so viscerally' and I'm like. buddy I'm gonna take your word for it :D #but now I'm like I literally cannot breathe trying to write this. and I know I dont have to but I *wanna* #*sigh* I'm being so dramatic legit it's not even that deep probably (or that good in the end) but!!! my heart hurts and my throat is closed #up. clogged. just 800 disjointed jumbled words in and. god. yeah. no. I'm losing actually