#uriel ft. kangmin: thr i.

[nokings]

A THREAD featuring CHA KANGMIN ( @luredeep ).

bare, thoughts are pernicious as always. in the depth of this clause as swallowed by the darkness, they are two bodies that coalesce. their collision a detonation, uriel knows better than to clasp his teeth against the sunken reveries, the predicament the only signature that marks the moment. still, he cannot deny, defy the amplified weight pressed against his globed shoulders, his endurance a notch to test. but this, as the existence of love is being a product to questions… he does not simply desist. they owe themselves this much: the honesty as their lips met in the open-mouthed kisses, exchanging the forlorn hopes long a wraith, a wisp.

he knows better than to open his eyes. the night is harsh, abrasive to an extent too much to bear that he chooses to suture his lids shut, so that he doesn’t have to propel himself into facing the coaxed truths. in here: the poltergeists of their relationship, not yet rekindled, not yet revived… still, he cannot disengage from the ferocity in which they moulded their bodies against each other, carrying the atrophy within to a cease. yes, this is the terminal, or so uriel expects it to be. he might as well fold his hands in prayers until his knuckles turn white, if the gods even beg to listen. but what kind of gods does, if they have pitted these souls against each other to start with? blade and zero are meant to etch a sillage of nemeses, but the cliche in which they find each other together in this bed, uriel doesn’t know how to handle the reality without collapsing into the solid ground.

the same ground that threatened to crush him to death, once.

again, the kangmin that occupies the otherwise vacant space in his bed is the same as the kangmin that occupied the otherwise vacant space in that scene. the reverbs of the scream still remain, forever engraved, inscribed into his marrows. even in his supposed final hours, it was kangmin to witness, to assess. the scene that was forever embedded in the forefronts of their minds, and now, uriel fears height even when he confronts it repeatedly. again, he could not leave without bidding kangmin a proper farewell, but then again… what is a proper farewell? he cannot seem to ever enunciate it, his tongue unmade, undone in the face of this trial. he is never meant to say anything of such a nature before the only person he’s ever come to love this much.

not even in their final hours. and so, uriel fears waking up, now, feeling the crook of the juncture between the neck and shoulder against his own lips. the scent is far too familiar for him to dismiss this as someone else. nobody can replicate the scent, regardless of how it is masked by the soak of substances. nicotine, alcohol. all the same, nothing has ever been enough in disguising the comfort. for that, he lets the moment seep, permeating all the sleepless nights that he’s ever come to indulge. this might have been the easiest slumber that he’s ever come closest to, and he can attribute it only to kangmin’s presence. and yes, it is real. it is true. still, uriel refuses to open his eyes in fears that this might be naught but a fragment of illusionary tales, as crafted by his desperate psyche.

regardless of the knowledge that nothing would be able to mimic this moment, he refuses to deal with the honesty. not now. he cannot confront any deliberate ruins, for this resembles a dream too well, he is scared of the possible emptiness he’s encountered over and over again. the image of kangmin’s back, turned against him… engrafted. no, no. he holds his breath when he feels the shift. kangmin is awake, he can tell even with his eyes closed. their habits were for each other to peruse, and so, this, uriel knows this so well, like the back of his hand.

kangmin’s hum is rimmed with the residue of slumber, disorientation clinging to their filaments so well. uriel refuses to open his eyes, still, even when he presses a kiss against the skin presented against his features. he tightens his embrace around kangmin’s back, their torsos pressed together within the engulf of this warmth as he exhales. “don’t go,” he whispers against kangmin’s neck after the lingering kiss pressed. “don’t.” a plea, almost, even when the tone is light. “we have… the conversation tabled, but can we… stay like this for a while? i can’t let you go. not now…” not ever, but he pushes that down the columns of his throat.

#thr. #luredeep #and: cha kangmin. #ver: i. #uriel ft. kangmin: thr i. #tag: home is far away.