#w national rock and the smell of meat and i hid in my bedroom

[the-acid-pear]

Fact that I'm a cannibal isn't surprising when you think about how food has always been a major part of my life. Most of the arguments with my mother were about that. The main way I had to bond with my grandpa was thru food. When I had to quit school it was because of intestinal issues (hereditary too, my grandma had the very same ones but worse, probably due to her worse temper, just like my aunt/godmother). To feed is to love to me. I eat to live and I live to eat.

#luly talks #there's also my very first ptsd flashback which i had when i was taken back to those sundays #w national rock and the smell of meat and i hid in my bedroom #that one left me SHAKING #w my mother the fights were always about how she ''didnt have money to feed me'' a lot of the times #but also about her shaming my eating habits (im a stress eater and i also like cleaning the plate(rude ig)) #she also hated how when we went out it was only to eat somewhere but she didn't bring up alternatives lmao #also our very first fight: i asked to have cake for breakfast #fight i mean physical one #and when i had one of my first big fights w my dad what did i do? i refused to eat #so when i say I'll stay loyal to you as long as you keep me fed i mean it