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#we've been friends since I was like. 12. my whole life basically lmao
lizstiel · 2 years
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got real stressed out by all the family stuff this weekend, and one of my best friends took me to the river to skip rocks for hours until I didn’t feel like I was gonna unravel and i cannot stress enough how healing it was.
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noblechaton · 11 months
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hi. this is a post about Miraculous Ladybug - but also a post about me too. I've been on this bug and cat train since just about the beginning and getting to where we are now has made me kinda look back on it all - the show and myself so. I'mma ramble for a bit, pretty long post. gets kinda personal too
also there is like. no complaining or salt or anything like that in this post. adding this on in case anyone gets the wrong idea
like I said I've been here since roughly the beginning - not quite the first episode but close enough I feel, def within that first year or so. I've seen every episode (except "Felix" somehow. lmao, and the Shanghai special) and written countless words for this batch of furry doofuses, made countless posts that range from jokes to genuine analysis and spent what could probably be medically determined to be an unhealthy and maybe illegal amount of brainpower on the series as a whole, through the ups and downs, the fandom drama and leaks
and I know plenty of people who have fallen off for one reason or another - they didn't like the progression of the story, how things were being handled here or there, or they simply drifted from it for whatever reason. I kinda felt that way for a time, that I might be growing apart from the series as hiatus after hiatus built and my interests veered more towards other stuff, from wrestlemen to the witchy. it's scared me in the past, that I might stop loving the show, but with the S5 finale having hit and the major storyline that's been the thrust of the series mostly concluded I kinda realized something that I've kinda known for a long while
I'll never let it go, not entirely, and I'll never grow completely past it or beyond it - Miraculous is sort of a part of me
see, 8 years ago I was....drifting in a different way. I was losing touch with the people I held dearest, those irl friends I'd managed to maintain through school were fading fast and slowly I found myself almost alone, totally and completely. suddenly all the voices I'd been happily smothered by for years were just. gone. a few remained here and there, but it was fragmented if not completely cut off before too long and, well, I was scared
I was, for all intents and purposes, alone
but....then I started to watch this show that'd been recommended to me a few times, from before the voices faded. I'd written it off bc I didn't really care for CG shows, they always felt so empty and weird to me at the time, but the season was still ongoing and it wasn't as if I had much else to do, so I watched this episode called Stormy Weather and, not to sound too dramatic, but my life sorta changed
I loved it from the start, the style, the banter, the story. the animation was shockingly good, it felt alive. the characters were a total treat to see interact, the designs all but perfect to my eye. I got immediately hooked and only went further in the more I watched. slowly but surely I caught up on what was out there, watched what was coming out and at the same time, I sorta....reinvented myself, too, bc of this show
I made this blog, spread my wings a bit and tested some waters here and there in ways totally different from what I'd done before - I wasn't always Noble, yanno - and though it horrified me as someone that's just. terrible at talking to people, at making friends and forming connections, I still did what I could - I basically did what I did to get my first crush's attention actually, in that I just sorta danced and made a clown out of myself. we dated for 12 hours, funnily enough, didn't last. hope she's doing well. anyway
all that dancing, as it were, eventually caught the eye of someone I still consider one of my best friends to this day, who back then slowly hooked me up with who have since become some of my other best friends - I have a lotta best friends, okay? but the bond we've formed, though most of them are sorta on the outs with the show and despite us all being busy lately, it meant a lot to me - they mean a lot to me. they've....saved me, genuinely. I'm sure you can pick up the subtext here, but just as well, the show saved me, too
because I kept bumping into more people and forming connections as a result of this shared interest in a silly French cartoon, my confidence changed - I started behaving more like my senior year self in that nothing really stopped me, I didn't feel as shy or bashful or timid. soon I found myself in servers, talking with names I'd never imagined knocking up against, getting into contact with people I'd otherwise never dreamed of talking with, much less becoming friends with
now I have this web of people in my life, people I trust and care for that are amazing creators, amazing people both inside and outside of fandom, now I'm close to or otherwise good friends with a list of names that could take up most of this post if I started rambling them off. and just like that, I'd found myself a home again, I felt like I belonged somewhere again, there were voices again and the silence was gone
and I still struggle sometimes, we all do, I'm not as creative on here as I want to be - and I look to change that soon bc deep down I do believe in my ability now, something that wasn't true some few years ago - and I still struggle to talk with some of those I want to befriend, but I have talked to most of them, I've engaged on a level I never could just a few years back and....I have people I can turn to again, that I trust and love. that I hope love me too, y'know, not romantically or anything just, familial? friendly? you understand, I'm sure, anyway, point is, I was terribly alone for a long while, and gradually I've found myself in a place I find comfort in again, surrounded by friends that I'd do anything for
and it's all because of Miraculous, a show I still love
yeah there's been ups and downs, things I've liked a ton and didn't care much for, but I'm still with the show - I will be with the show. I thought season 5 was maybe the best of the bunch, at least on par with S1 imo, I'm stupidly excited about season 6 despite not being so sure of it just a few months ago. and above all else I just love watching it, posting about it and creating for it. it gets so much hate, I know there's constant discourse and there are genuine issues with it, but....again, I love it, I'll always love it. even if I drift away, if my interests shift or things take a turn, for any issue I take with the show myself, I think I'll always love this show, thick or thin
because this show saved me, it's made me a better person and gave me a life I'd once feared I'd lost, and for as silly as all of this might sound I'll always be grateful to that bug and cat team
anyway. that's enough sap from me for a bit, just kinda retrospective in light of the finale, kinda crazy to think about where I was 8 years back compared to now tbh. and not just the whole "oh yeah I'm a girl" thing lol
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