#wee i hope you like my inane rambling and headcanons

[xxghost-zombie-jesus]

HEY I HEARD SOMEONE SAY "ASK ME ABOUT BEETLELANDS" OVER HERE, DO YOU HAVE ANY HEADCANONS ABOUT THEM TO SHARE??

DO I HAVE ANY HEADCANONS? DO I HAVE ANY HEADCANONS ?! YOU BET YOUR ASS I DO!

And I'll do you one better! I'm currently slowly working on a Beetlelands fic based off the song "Your Stupid Face" by Kaden MacKay. Eventually I'll finish and post it, but I think you deserve an excerpt.

Barbara and Adam shared a look, having one of their silent conversations, and Beetlejuice was left wondering once again how the hell they did that. They came to some conclusion or understanding or something because both gave a decisive nod. "Maitlands 2.0?" Barbara asked. "Maitlands 2.0," Adam echoed, giving her an encouraging smile. "Wh-" Beetlejuice went to ask again, but Barbara leaned up and pressed her lips to him, stunning him so thoroughly that he froze. Completely. His eyes were wide, breath withering in his chest, and his hands shook just the slightest amount at how tense he was. Barbara pressed slightly harder against his lips, which were firmly closed in his confusion-fueled panic. This was is, this was them fucking him over with kindness and the false pretense of love before they stabbed him in the back, and threw him out on his ass. Like Lydia, and his Ma, and everyone before, every single person before in his long undead-dead not-life. No, no. He was being so stupid, this meant something. This meant something. Something good? No, no, something great. Barbara went to pull away and he moved without thinking, chasing her lips and he slowly, hesitantly, brought his hand up to cup the back of her neck, hyper-aware of his claws resting against her delicate skin. He gently played with the hair at the nape of her neck, noting that, yes, it was as soft as he had always thought. Barbara laughed against his mouth and deepened the kiss oh-so-slightly, thumb still brushing over his cheekbones. She nipped his lip and he opened obediently, allowing her to take the lead, but she simply continued to nibble his lip. She pulled away and he made an involuntary noise in his throat, opening his eyes which he hadn't realized he closed. Barbara stepped away and Adam took her spot. Slower than she had, he leaned in and wrapped his arms around Beetlejuice's shoulders, and he, too, kissed Beetlejuice. Once again all his thoughts flatlined as Beetlejuice took a moment to respond, though much quicker than with Barbara. He melted against Adam's chest, hands hovering awkwardly over his sides, fingers curled slightly. Adam ran a hand though Beetlejuice's hair and he purred into the kiss, and oh, he had never made that noise before. Finally he let his hands wrap around Adam's waist, and grip at the fabric of his shirt as he pushed closer, torn between continuing the kiss or pressing back into Adam's hand in his hair, but Adam made the decision for him, pulling his head forward ever-so-slightly and opening his mouth. Beetlejuice responded in kind, and totally didn't shiver slightly when Adam pushed his tongue inside of his mouth. Finally Adam, too, pulled back, though he stayed close enough to keep a hand in Beetlejuice's hair. Despite being probably the tamest kisses he had ever had the pleasure of having–lacking the desperate push of two people who simply let drug-borne lust take over in a desperate bid to get both of their rocks off as quickly as possible, and absolutely no blood left in its wake–it left him flushed and breathless, shoulders heaving as he stared at the couple in front of him. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to get his thoughts to form into words, but all he could utter was, "woah." Barbara giggled and covered her mouth. "Is that a good 'woah'?" Beetlejuice could only nod, a lopsided, lovestruck grin on his face.

Ehehe.

As for headcanons, I feel like it's gonna be reaaaal slowburn. I'm talking like. Months before the Maitlands are even comfortable enough to call Beej a friend, let alone start having a crush on him.

When he first comes back it's...awkward. They can tell he's genuinely remorseful for what he did, but that doesn't make it okay. That doesn't excuse his behavior. Not even just the threatening to murder and fake exorcism stuff, either. The groping and kissing and inappropriate comments were all way too far.

He doesn't get that, so what's a little kissing and ass slapping between friends? Or a dirty comment here and there? They have to have a conversation with him about how, no, people don't act like that. They don't know about demons, or their etiquette, but humans shouldn't act like that. and it takes a while, but it finally clicks for him and he realizes Oh. He was the asshole. They genuinely didn't like it. He stops pretty quickly after that, with some slip ups that he has to be warned about.

He goes back to teaching them how to be ghosts. That isn't something that he needs to convince the Maitlands on, in fact, it's their idea, pretty quickly. Like, sure, they still aren't comfortable around him but he does know his shit. And before everything went to hell in a handbasket before, the scaring lesson was fun! And there's so much they don't know.

Like how to eat, or teleport, or conjure stuff. And do all ghosts have a pocket dimensions or is that a demon thing? And what about the clones? There's a lot they don't know and want to understand, and, for a long time, these lessons are the only time they're alone together. And they aren't professional, not by a long shot, you have three goofballs, one of which couldn't be serious if his not-life depended on it, but its far from how things were before.

and its during lessons like this, and conversations they have with beej at dinner or during family night, or even when he comes to them of his own accord needing their help or with something for them that they start to learn about beej. and he about them.

and they start to grow closer, you know? they go from acquaintances to family members to friends, and soon they find that yes. he actually did change, for the better. or maybe this is how he always is and something was just Up when they first met him. either way, they much prefer this beetlejuice to the maniac, angry, desperate one before.

they spend more time together alone, usually when lydia isn't around or beetlejuice gets in trouble annoying delia or charles, and after months and months of living together and becoming friends the maitlands realize that. oh. they like him. both of them. and they don't know how to breech the subject because they don't want to make things awkward, or scare him off, so they just. don't say anything.

at this point they have a FWB arrangement going on, because, well, they have to admit, all of beej's primping and preening about his sex life had gotten them curious, and they wanted to know if he could put his money where his mouth was. and it turned out he could.

and then beej is the one to come to them because he realized that his silly little infatuation with the two ghosts had bloomed into a full blown crush. and he had to tell them or he'd explode or have to run away. what was the worst that could happen? oh yeah that was bad, but unlikely.

so he tells them, and they reciprocate, and start dating. things aren't smooth, its awkward and they have their fair share of problems that include beej getting scared and fucking off for a little bit until he's dragged back and forced to talk about his feelings, but in the end it works out great.

as for general headcanons:

Beetlejuice calls Barbara and Adam all manner of nicknames, but tends to stick with Sexy and Babs most often.

Adam calls beej Bug, Buggy, and Bugsy. Barbara calls him Beet, Beebles, and Juicy. They both call him Love-bug, Ladybug, and Junebug.

They keep their separate rooms, Beej likes to have his own space after all, but he sleeps with them more often than not, and tends to be in the middle. It works out because he's usually very warm and the Maitlands can actually feel it.

Also he's a huge cuddler and likes to drape himself across their laps, even when they're busy.

Adam likes to play with Beetlejuice's hair, it's surprisingly soft despite it sticking up every-which-way, and it always makes the demon purr which Adam thinks is The cutest thing.

Barbara loves Beej's wyrm form, especially when he's small, and its only in this form that puppydog eyes work on her. She's immune at any other point.

Beetlejuice thinks Adam's the better cuddler, but Barbara is better to lay on. He will never say this out loud. He does constantly complain about Barbara's cold ass feet though.

His love languages are gift-giving, acts of service, and quality time. Oh and touch.

On the other hand he is bad at words of affirmation. Like, he could not give someone a compliment in a not back-handed, rude, or plain incomprehensible way if his not-life depended on it.

In the same vein his accepted ones are words of affirmation, quality time, and touch. He hates when people do things for him because he can't understand the concept of people just wanting to do something to be nice vs them expecting something in return.

Adam helps Beetlejuice deal with some of the more negative quirks of his autism (aka gives him Healthy coping methods). This one is bc I hc Beej, Adam, and Lyds are all autistic ;3c

Beetlejuice helps Adam be more unapologetically autistic and not mask it so much. No one here is gonna judge, after all.

Barbara helps Beetlejuice when he has nightmares, and in return he'll stay awake with her when she's too upset to sleep. He thinks he's very bad at being comforting but he can be a good listener, surprisingly, and actually can have some good advice! also he's a great cuddler. he gives a mean hug. real bear hug, picks her up and swings her around a bit kind of hug that always makes her laugh.

Beetlejuice helps Adam and Babs withs the model. Babs is the one who carves all the model buildings and Adam paints them. Beetlejuice since he can leave the house makes sure its 100% accurate and keeps them up to date.

He also likes to get Barbara new plants for her attic garden. So many so that it ends up bleeding out onto the roof.

#veej's rambles #beetlelands #beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice broadway #barbara maitland #adam maitland #asks from the recently deceased #wee i hope you like my inane rambling and headcanons #i have more but this is all i can think of off the top of my head right now #i hope to eventually get one or all of my stupid fics finished UvU. one day