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eddycurrents · 5 years

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For the week of 3 June 2019

Quick Bits:

Batman #72 essentially gives a bit of recontextualization for what has been going on during the series, giving a summation of events, in this third part of “The Fall and the Fallen” from Tom King, Mikel Janín, Jorge Fornés, Jordie Bellaire, and Clayton Cowles. It’s all right, with some glorious artwork as always, but it kind of feels like we’re treading water here.

| Published by DC Comics

Bettie Page: Unbound #1 builds on what’s come before and the magic of her unicursal hexagram pendant, but you needn’t have read anything previously as this first issue does a good job of weaving in the relevant information to inform this adventure. I quite like what David Avallone, Julius Ohta, Ellie Wright, Sheelagh D, and Taylor Esposito have been doing long term with Bettie Page and this is another fun start to the next chapter, blending Lovecraftian horror with a jaunt through pastiches of Dynamite’s current properties.

| Published by Dynamite

Birthright #36 returns from the trade break with the start of the next stage in dealing with the weakening walls between realms and what terrible things may happen as magic keeps building up on the threshold of our world. The artwork from Andrei Bressan and Adriano Lucas remains absolutely stellar as they, Joshua Williamson, and Pat Brosseau continue one of the best fantasy adventure series that strangely keeps flying under the radar.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Black Cat #1 is a highly entertaining debut, leaning hard into history and heists, with three tales spotlighting the Black Cat and the Black Fox. Jed MacKay pens two of the tales, one in the present illustrated by Travel Foreman, one in the past by Mike Dowling, both coloured and lettered respectively by Brian Reber and Ferran Delgado, that play stylistically off one another as they build up the respective crews and show them in action. There’s also a very cute two-page heist with cats by Nao Fuji.

| Published by Marvel

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #5 begins a long dark night for Xander’s soul as he’s struggling with overcoming the demon trying to take control as a vampire. Great bits building what he means to Buffy and Willow. David López takes over line art duties here, and it’s definitely a change, darker and scratchier than what’s come before, but it suits the raw emotion of the story.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Captain Marvel #6 begins a tie-in to War of the Realms with Carol and Natasha trying to find Doctor Strange in South America. It’s a fun start to this story from Kelly Thompson, Annapaola Martello, Tamra Bonvillain, and Clayton Cowles with a Freaky Friday twist as they try to stop Enchantress.

| Published by Marvel

Criminal #5 begins “Cruel Summer”, which Ed Brubaker promises to possibly be the longest arc yet, kicking off an investigation into a woman running from an abusive affair. Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Jacob Phillips give us an intriguing start to this arc through a sad sack private investigator in Dan Farraday

| Published by Image

DCeased #2 continues the destruction of the DC Universe through a “not zombie” zombie plague. Tom Taylor, Trevor Hairsine, Stefano Gaudiano, Rain Beredo, and Saida Temofonte are telling a great horror story here, with some big casualties wiped off the board pretty quickly.

| Published by DC Comics

Deadpool #13 is another War of the Realms tie-in, dropping Deadpool into Australia to tackle Ulik and his trolls. It’s a decent start from Skottie Young, Nic Klein, and Jeff Eckleberry with some funny Wade/Blind Al moments and Wade trying to convince the Australian heroes of his worth as an Avenger.

| Published by Marvel

Deathstroke #44 is part one of “RIP”, with Priest, Fernando Pasarin, Ryan Winn, Jeromy Cox, and Willie Schubert kicking it off with Slade’s funeral. Some interesting bits of possibility as to who might pick up the Deathstroke mantle.

| Published by DC Comics

Descendent #2 continues this conspiracy-laden thriller from Stephanie Phillips, Evgeniy Bornyakov, Lauren Affe, and Troy Peteri. This one’s a bit heavy on the shadowy organization being shadowy and light on explanation, but there are still some entertaining character moments.

| Published by AfterShock

Eclipse #16 brings this series from Zack Kaplan, Giovanni Timpano, Flavio Dispenza, and Troy Peteri to a close. I find it kind of funny that the reason for the solar activity and underlying state of the world aren’t answered, but that’s been part of the through line of this final arc, focusing more on the characters and the heart that keeps people going.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Fallen World #2 continues this wonderful exploration of the new state of 4002 AD by Dan Abnett, Adam Pollina, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell. The threat of Father-possessed Bloodshot in horrifying and the future is looking pretty bleak. Also, I think this is some of the best artwork I have ever seen from Adam Pollina. He’s really giving it his all for this series and it shines through on the page.

| Published by Valiant

Giant Days #51 deals with the fallout of McGraw’s loss as we head towards the end of the series. The shift in behaviour for Esther to more responsibility and adult attitudes also seems to be a sign that John Allison is giving us that the end is near.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Green Lantern #8 is one of the weirdest Green Lantern/Green Arrow team-ups you’re going to come across. With awesome demons from Liam Sharp.

| Published by DC Comics

Guardians of the Galaxy Annual #1 gives us a trio of tales and a framing story, focusing on the other heroes who were sucked into oblivion in the first issue, and where some of them have ended up now. Great work from all of the creators involved and hope to see them usher more stories of the characters.

| Published by Marvel

Incredible Hulk: Last Call #1 is another of the 80th Anniversary specials, this time reuniting the classic Hulk team of Peter David and Dale Keown for this one-shot. It’s an interesting tale of Bruce wanting to kill himself and an old co-worker of Betty’s trying to talk him out of it.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League #25 concludes “The Sixth Dimension” from Scott Snyder, Jorge Jimenez, Alejandro Sánchez, and Tom Napolitano. Gorgeous art as always, and an interesting bit of the League being more than the sum of their parts to choose a different way. There’s also a prelude for the “Year of the Villain” even from James Tynion IV, Javier Fernandez, Hi-Fi, and Napolitano and it’s a little grim. While they were gone, the world has been doomed.

| Published by DC Comics

Meet the Skrulls #5 brings this excellent series to a close, with hints of something even bigger than a Skrull invasion lurking within the Marvel Universe. Robbie Thompson, Niko Henrichon, Laurent Grossat, and Travis Lanham have provided a taut thriller through this series, but also shown that the tightest bonds in the field are really with your family.

| Published by Marvel

Savage Avengers #2 continues slowly bringing together the team in the Savage Land, along with revealing the long time Conan villain pulling the strings. It’s bloody, violent, and great. Mike Deodato Jr. and Frank Martin are making this look gorgeous.

| Published by Marvel

Stronghold #4 goes in some very interesting directions as Michael and Claire escape from the Stronghold’s clutches and go searching for the Apostate. Some absolutely marvellous artwork from Ryan Kelly and Dee Cunniffe, with some great repeated variations on layouts as Michael cycles through different lifetimes.

| Published by AfterShock

Uncanny X-Men #19 catches us up with what’s been going on with Emma Frost since her X-Men: Black story across Astonishing X-Men and the beginning of this series, and, well, it’s also bleak. And there’s more death. Also a reminder that the Vanisher’s name is Telford Porter. TELFORD PORTER.

| Published by Marvel

War of the Realms #5 is kind of a mess of pieces, I don’t recommend anyone trying to reconcile appearances and locations in this book with any of the tie-ins, but on its own, it’s one hell of a gathering storm for the finale. Russell Dauterman and Matthew Wilson are unparalleled here with the artwork. It’s drop dead gorgeous.

| Published by Marvel

Witchblade #14 slips back to the present to deal with what happens after Alex and co. get ported off to the future. I love how Caitlin Kittredge, Roberta Ingranata, Bryan Valenza, and Troy Peteri are presenting this, rather than just leaving us confused in the future.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Young Justice #6 concludes “Seven Crises” with some answers, kind of, but not any particularly satisfying ones, more just a bunch of hand waving. Which is not to say this isn’t good, Brian Michael Bendis, John Timms, Gabe Eltaeb, and Wes Abbott deliver a very entertaining excursion into Gemworld, with some funny moments and great action. It’s just that the questions about how and why any of this is happening or who these versions of the characters are and out of which continuity remain.

| Published by DC Comics / Wonder Comics

Other Highlights: Age of X-Man: Prisoner X #4, Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III #2, Beasts of Burden: Presence of Others #2, Black Hammer ‘45 #4, Dead Man Logan #8, Domino: Hotshots #4, The Dreaming #10, Elvira: The Shape of Elvira #3, Female Furies #5, Hashtag Danger #2, Hotel Dare, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #10, Jughead: The Hunger vs. Vampironica #2, Marvel Action: Avengers #5, Marvel Team-Up #3, Noble #18, Old Man Quill #6, Paper Girls #29, Red Sonja #5, Ronin Island #4, Section Zero #3, Shadow Roads #8, Sharkey: The Bounty Hunter #4, Six Million Dollar Man #4, Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #9, Star Wars: Age of Rebellion - Luke Skywalker #1, Star Wars Adventures #22, Thumbs #1, Tony Stark: Iron Man #12, Vampirella: Roses for the Dead #4, Volition #6, War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery #4, War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas #3

Recommended Collections: Avengers - Volume 3: War of the Vampires, Captain Ginger - Volume 1, Cemetery Beach, Cloak & Dagger: Agony & Ecstasy, Die - Volume 1: Fantasy Heartbreaker, The Dreaming - Volume 1: Pathways & Emanations, Hack/Slash Omnibus - Volume 6, Impossible Incorporated, Maxwell’s Demons - Volume 1, Mind MGMT Omnibus - Volume 2, Mirror: The Nest, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Star Wars Adventures: Destroyer Down, The Thrilling Adventure Hour - Volume 2: Residence Evil

d. emerson eddy is all thumbs.

#This Week in Comics

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puckish-saint · 7 years

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hiya~ just passing by and thinking about reaper76 (no reader insert) and their pretended marriage au 😏 whatcha' thinking 'bout that love? p.s. just wanted to tell you that your writing always bring smile on my face, the way you have with words captivated me from your first posts and i don't think i will ever forget your style (just really love your humour the jokes in it work every time) (although i find your blog only when you started writing overwatch fics i wish i found you sooner)

(my jokes work, thank god. You have no idea how long I’ve been chewing on that one, waiting for someone to tell me if my attempts at humour land. This really made my day Also Fake Marriage, yes pleas.Because just, hnnngh. Gabe more or less reluctantly teaming up with Overwatch after it turns out he’s been set up/lots of misunderstandings/shenanigans. But he and Jack have been drifting apart for so long and even though both technically know they’ve been played out against each other, knowing it and acting accordingly are two very different things. They fight, they argue, they can’t stand being in the same room and it’s worse because both remember they used to be inseparable.So, shit happens and they have to pretend to love each other. They have to dig deep under all the baggage to find that affection they used to hold for each other, and what’s scary is that it’s easy.The first morning Gabriel shovels six spoon fulls of sugar into his coffee cup, hesitates, then just upends the whole damn sugar bowl into his coffee, Jack doesn’t have a problem hugging him from behind and kissing him good morning.And when Jack loses horribly at some video game because he’s too busy admiring the scenery (”look at those trees, Gabe, they’re all handcrafted. Every one of them. Look at the trees.” “Will you please look at the giant venomous spider instead?”) Gabriel laughs like he hasn’t in ages.

I will go down with that trope tbh, and because I have no restraint, I wrote just under 2k words which may or may not be the beginning of a multichapter fic I’ll be putting on AO3.

Gibraltar base in low energy mode creeps out everyone. The lights are low, turning longhallways into twilight suffused tunnels with no end in sight, entireportions of the base void of life and activity. Only the dormitoriesand kitchens still have full power, a warm haven surrounded bymonsters in the dead of night. Everyone deals with the creepiness intheir own way. Lena drives her accelerator to its limits, skipping inand out the darkness as fast as she can. Mei asks a friend toaccompany her, whereas Hanzo plain refuses to go.

Lúcio talks.

“I’m here one time and theymake me go to the damn locker rooms to get some trivial shit nobodycares about,” he mutters under his breath, chasing away theoppressive silence. “First time in months we see each other and Ibrought them all souvenirs, but they’re all like, oh Lu-lu can youdo us a huge favour and get this random shit from our demon cellar,and if you get eaten do we get your skates?”

He turns a corner and comes face toface with a demon. Black holes where the eyes should be, a being ofpure darkness melds from the shadows to take his soul. Lúcio’scomplaints stick in his throat, hiding just like he wants to be. Theshadow seems to stare right through him. Then it moves.

“Gabe! Puta merda, you scaredthe crap out of me.”

Gabriel chuckles deeply and the grimreaper hunting for his innocent soul becomes the latest addition totheir ragtag bunch of misfits. They fall in step together, Lúciomuch more at ease now that he has someone tall and strong to protecthim from Overwatch’s version of a haunted house.

“Wimp,” he says good-natured.“We’re needed in the conference room. Something came up.”

“What, now?”

“No, the next Saint Patrick’s day.”

In the beginning Gabriel’s sarcasmput him off, but by now Lúcio has learned to appreciate it. Theyspend more time together than most anyone on base, seeing as hismusic is what’s slowly but surely healing Gabriel of his specialproblem.

“Your skin hurt again?” he asks,gesturing to the mask he wears again. Lately he can go mostly gowithout, but every now and then the degeneration flares up again andforces him to protect himself. Gabriel shrugs.

“It’s nothing compared to what itused to be like.” he says.

“Still. I can write you something tohelp, okay?”Gabriel argues only a little and by the time theyenter the conference room he has convinced him. Half the team hasgathered, including Fareeha through video conference from Cairo.

“... spotted them twice coming in,but they have an alternate route for leaving. I’m on it right now.”

“Good work, Amari.” Winston turnsto face the team. “We have eyes on Vishkar’s top suppliers. Idon’t need to tell you this op could make or break our effortsagainst them. Yes, Lúcio, you’ll be on the team to take them in.”

Lúcio has barely opened his mouth andnow grins, leaning back as they watch the low-res pictures Fareehamanaged to take of the couple they’ve been after for months.Vishkar’s increasingly unsavoury activities rely almost completelyon these two people, elusive as they are efficient, supplying Vishkarwith everything from stolen technology to weapons. Whatever thecorporation needs, they can get it. And now Overwatch knows wherethey are.

“We need to send in a strike-team,”Jack says once they’ve gone over the bullet points. “And quick. Idon’t suppose we can get Miss Song on such short notice, but withmyself, Lena and Fareeha we can move quickly enough to evade a drawnout fight. Lúcio should stay back until we’re well into it. Ifthey spot him before-”“Hey,” Gabriel barks. “Who died andmade you boss?”

“I don’t see you contributinganything of value.” Jack shoots back with just as much venom.

“You wouldn’t let anyone get a wordin edgewise, golden boy.”“You act like I’ve beenmonologuing for hours, it figures you have to make up something to beupset about-”“You don’t even hear yourself speak, doyou?”“Guys? Stop fighting.”

Both Jack and Gabriel fall silent underLena’s soft but firm rebuke. They won’t look at each other, sitwith crossed arms through the rest of the briefing. Two teams will goin, one lead by Fareeha closing in on their targets, the other leadby Reinhardt blocking off their escape. Winston reminds them to atleast try and bring them in alive for interrogation.

A few hours later the team sets out.

A few hours after that, a furious duetof Amaris relays the mission to Winston.They’re speaking over eachother, curse the sky green and look one wrong word away from becomingphysically violent.

“-completely disregarded theplan-”“-charged in there like madmen, fighting each other,like they didn’t even see all those damn turrets-”“-Reinhardtkept shouting at them to listen but they were too busy with theirpissing contest-”“-had to double back and bail them out, TeamB got pinned down by drones-”“-targets almost got away, if ithadn’t been for my daughter, we’d be back to zero-”

“-can’t work with those two, theycompromised the mission, the team, themselves-”“-likechildren in a playground, no professionalism-”“Alright,alright!” Winston interrupts holding up his hands to protecthimself from the Amari wrath. He doesn’t want to know what Jack andGabriel had to hear before they called. “I’ll talk to them. Inthe meantime, what about our targets?”

The targets are secure and brought tothe base and surprisingly accommodating. They have no loyalty forVishkar and eagerly share everything they know in return for a deal.Jack and Gabriel are taken off the mission roster for the time being,although both had to be persuaded to stay at all, ready to walk outafter this latest fiasco that proved to them trying to work togetherafter everything that happened is a moot exercise.

“We used to joke they could read eachother’s minds,” Reinhardt says while they wait for Winston andAna to finish up with the intel they gathered from their targets.“You have never seen closer friends.”

Lúcio looks up from his tablet to giveReinhardt a look of pure doubt.

“Hard to imagine, I know” Jessesays, smoking despite everyone’s subtle and not so subtle-nods tothe no-smoking rule. “But it’s true. Took the UN almost twodecades to push them apart, and that’s sayin’ somethin’...”

Lena makes to answer but is interruptedby the arrival of Winston, followed by Ana and, surprisingly, Jackand Gabriel.

“Thought we were benched.” Jackvoices everyone’s thoughts.

“Something came up,” Ana repliescurtly and loads their info up on the main screen. “We got ourtargets just in time. They were ready to retire and Vishkar promisedthem new identities and a safe home.”

“If Vishkar made them disappear, we’dnever have found them,” Lúcio says and then whistles when Anabrings up a picture. “That what I think it is?”

“Jannat, Vishkar’s top-secret gatedcommunity. It’s their magnum opus, located an hour’s drive fromUtopaea. The families of their top executives and scientists all livethere. It’s also where they keep all their records.”

“So what?” Jesse says. “We’regonna wire them and let them go?”

“Better,” Ana shows a grin that’sall teeth and even though she hasn’t so much as glanced at Jack andGabriel, they both swallow, knowing whatever she has planned, they’llbe the butt of the joke. “Our targets were extremely careful. Noteven Vishkar knows who they are. They have a vague description of twomales in their fifties or sixties, one of which is black or latino,which puts us in the prime position of being able to send two of ouragents in their stead.”“Fuck that.” Gabriel says, wellaware of who’s going to end up playing the part. Jack at leasttries to be a bit more subtle about it.

“Reyes and I aren’t exactlynobodies. They’ll recognise us.”

“They’ll recognise your faces, butit won’t matter. We can fool their DNA sensors.”

“Still, they might getsuspicious.”“It’s a risk we’re going to have to take.This is our only chance to get into Jannat and we don’t have thetime to hold castings.”

Jack knows when he lost a fight, butGabriel keeps arguing. He damn near flips the tables when Winstonwon’t be persuaded to use someone else, gets into a shouting matchwith Ana that lasts for hours. Mission prep lasts a little under aday and when it’s done and their identities forged, they have todrag him kicking and screaming onto the plane, less metaphoricallythan anyone would prefer.

“He’ll get us killed,” Gabrielspits while Lúcio walks him through the last few points. “He didit before.”

Jack tenses but says nothing, sittingat the opposite end of the aircraft and pretending to read the news.

“It’s going to go fine,” Lúciosays cheerfully. “Mister Jack’s got you. Now listen, because asfar as we know there’s a sort of quarantine and we won’t be ableto talk for at least a month. I’ve built you a miniature version ofmy sonic tech and packed every song I ever wrote on that. Nothingwill go wrong with our treatment plan, but if it does something onthere will help you, okay?”“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Gabrielswats at him, cheeks hot with embarrassment at being mothered bysomeone half a foot shorter and almost three decades younger thanhim.

And then it’s just them and Lena inthe cockpit, flying them to their destination. In less than an hourthey’ll be Sam and Steve Carter, married for thirty two years,criminals for slightly longer. They’ll have to kiss and hug and saystupid corny shit and for all that Gabriel wants to forcefully ejecthimself from the plane, he knows they can’t blow this one. The endof Vishkar for good lies just within their reach. If he fucks this upbecause he couldn’t play nice he’ll never be able to look Lúcioin the eye again. The kid was the only one who accepted him with openarms after the whole mess with Mercy and the UN was over. When evenReinhardt and Ana kept their distance, it was Lúcio who sat with himfor breakfast, who included him, who went up to him in all his 5’3’’glory and asked to spar because even Jesse wouldn’t. He can’tfuck this up.

They step into the sweltering Indianheat arm in arm and gritting their teeth.

#overwatch imagines #reaper76 #reaper #soldier 76 #no reader #i call this The Intro #also i love the idea of reaper and lucio together #platonically or romantically #dark and brooding versus neverending sunshine is my jam #rustedrobonerd

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wrestlingwiththoughts · 7 years

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Evolve 79, February 25, 2016 (Queens, NY)

I thought something was afoot when I saw a group of five paramedics huddled together in the general attendance section in the crowd, but it turns out that these paramedics simply enjoyed their independent professional grappling. There also were noticeably more women in the crowd than in past Evolve shows, and it warmed my heart to hear one woman get very invested in the show. At one point, she yelled, “Wait, this is fake?” Despite that realization, she stayed and cheered Tracy Williams and Darby Allin, chanted “Bro” with the crowd at Matt Riddle, catcalled Timothy Thatcher, and applauded when Zack Sabre Jr. won the Evolve championship from Thatcher. After the show, at the nearby Taco Bell, I overheard a group of young women discuss how they were going to an upcoming WWE show with signs. It was really encouraging to see so many women at this Evolve show, and I hope that they all come back and bring friends. As Zack Sabre Jr. stated later, “Professional wrestling is for everyone; this Earth is for everyone.”

1. ACH vs. Jason Kincaid

I’ve been watching wrestling for long enough now that I have to value, possibly even over-value, when someone doesn’t move like everyone else. To me, that’s the appeal of someone like Jason Kincaid. ACH is a fine junior heavyweight wrestler, and Ring of Honor missed its chance to capitalize on ACH when he worked for the company. ACH was charismatic, sharing his confusion at Kincaid’s moves with stares at the crowd. When a wrestler interacts with the crowd by directing their reaction to their opponent, is it still breaking the fourth wall? ACH also displayed his athleticism with skillful dives, powerful dropkicks, and enziguri kicks. However, my eyes were drawn to Kincaid, whose movements remind me of Ophidian’s serpentine style, bending in ways that demand great flexibility and moving at angles that are different from other wrestlers. Kincaid slithers over ropes and around the ring to play into his Eastern meditation gimmick (which seems ripe for an eventual heel turn to team with someone like Stokely Hathaway, by the way), and his charismatic really shines through his movements. This was entertaining, and it set the crowd up to stay excited for the rest of the show.

2. Chris Dickinson vs. Fred Yehi vs. Austin Theory vs. Anthony Henry

Speaking of wrestlers who move at unique angles and have unique attacks, my attention during this match was on Fred Yehi, though Chris Dickinson was the actual focus of the match. Yehi plays into his small stature by attacking his opponent’s joints or areas where everyone, no matter how strong or fast, will be vulnerable, such as fingers and toes. His height also creates a different angle and look for the German suplex, which is ubiquitous in professional wrestling in 2017. The way Yehi bounces off the middle rope instead of the top rope is another way Yehi plays into his small stature to make himself a more compelling figure in the ring, and his work does not go unrecognized with me.

Dickinson, on the other hand, is a beefy fellow who has never impressed me in the ring. He has great looking power moves for a wrestler his size, and he has some blue collar charisma. His nickname, “Dirty Daddy,” is almost repugnant when chanted by the crowd, and he still bears the shame of his reckless chairshot on Kimber Lee and how he tried to defend himself. He reminds me of wrestlers like BJ Whitmer or Brent Albright who can hit some impressive looking offense without ever forming a connection with the crowd.

Austin Theory is tall and lanky, and he looked lost in some parts of this match, like he was desperately trying to remember when his spots took place during the match so he could impress the crowd. Also, I know that he’s playing with his name, but he really should reconsider wearing tights emblazoned with “Unproven” because it just makes him sound not tried and tested, which is what the word actually means.

As they say, Anthony Henry should be a crowd pleaser because he has two first names, but he was only slightly more memorable than Austin Theory. He exhibited a frantic sense of energy, and at least he didn’t seem like he was lost in the ring. The spot where he kicked both Dickinson and Yehi was almost believable

Dickinson won to continue the story of Catchpoint’s implosion by powerbombing Theory to score the pin while Yehi had Henry trapped in a submission hold. It was a creative ending, and it teases his upcoming tag team title challenge with Jaka against fellow Catchpoint members Yehi and Tracy Williams.

3. Jeff Cobb vs. Jaka

Part of me wonders if Gabe Sapolsky is tempted to use the same strategy to promote Jeff Cobb the same ways he was able to successfully promote Samoa Joe back in the early 2000s in Ring of Honor. While Cobb is similar to Joe in size and athleticism, the former Olympian Cobb has a grappling legitimacy that Joe could never claim. Unlike Samoa Joe, Cobb does not project a monstrous ferocity or confidence in his striking; though he is a large man, his chops don’t seem to carry the force that they should even though he has incredible physical strength, as he demonstrated with the delayed vertical superplex and the way he caught Jaka for the Tour of the Islands in the finish. I have felt that trying to package Cobb like he is the next Samoa Joe is a mistake because he can dominate opponents with his grappling, and Samoa Joe never excelled at ground-based grappling. Cobb also has incredible strength and surprising athleticism; his standing moonsault and shooting star press look physically impossible given his size.

Jaka, on the other hand, has great looking strikes, and I wish that they had leaned into this contrast more by making this a grappler vs. striker style match instead of the hoss fight template that they used. The match started violently and was paced to escalate, and it held the crowd’s attention. Nonetheless, I wonder if it could have been better, which seems to be the case with a lot of Jeff Cobb matches.

4. Keith Lee vs. Tracy Williams

With his bulky knee braces and kinesio tapes on his right shoulder, Tracy Williams looks like he is breaking down under the physical stress of his intense schedule and hard-hitting style. It would be a shame to see Williams sidelined because of his injuries, but it almost seems inevitable given his physical deterioration. His passion in the ring is almost unparalleled on the roster; only Fred Yehi projects intensity like Williams during matches.

Keith Lee is a large man who feels comfortable throwing his weight around the ring. Because he faced Williams, he was able to deny Williams simple things like Irish whips or suplexes due to the size difference, which set this in the classic “big man vs. little man” match template.

Williams jump Lee at the start of the match and overwhelm Lee, but Lee’s size advantage allowed him to weather the flurry of offense and grind Williams down with violent offense like belly to belly suplexes and a sitout powerbomb that bounced Williams and Lee off the mat and stunned even Lee with the force of the powerbomb. When Williams’s flurry failed to stun Lee to let Williams score a quick victory, he changed tactics and targeted Lee’s arm, including a hanging armbar in the ropes. However, Williams wasn’t able to stun Lee long enough to really wear out the arm, while every move Lee hit devastated Williams. Because Williams couldn’t grind Lee down to force a submission victory, he had to change tactics again and stand toe to toe with Lee. This was Williams’s undoing because Lee could easily cut Williams’s offense off with his power advantage, and Lee won the match with his Ground Zero move. The match was entertaining, and I appreciated the story they told about how Williams had to change his tactics several times to try to find a way to take Lee out. Williams’s intensity usually gives his matches a sense of purpose, and he works well with larger men, as his matches with Chris Hero and now Keith Lee demonstrate. I think he could have a great match with Jeff Cobb in the future.

5. Ethan Page w/The Gatekeepers vs. Darby Allin

I have not been a fan of Ethan Page, and this was maybe the first time that I can see him as a viable antagonist in Evolve. Most of the credit goes to Darby Allin, who once again sacrificed greatly in order to make himself a compelling figure in the ring. Allin came to the ring wearing a paper cutout of Page’s face as a mask, which gave him a creepy energy. Page attacked right away to start the match, but Allin was able to escape Page’s package piledriver attempt and send Page to the floor. He then hit the coffin drop trust fall on Page and the Gatekeepers to spark an already hot crowd. Page held the Gatekeepers back and brawled with Allin on the floor. As the larger man, Page gained the advantage and nearly killed Allin by throwing him from the La Boom stage to the ring post, which resulted in a sickening fall. I thought that would be the spot where Darby Allin almost dies, as he usually does during a match, but instead he dies multiple deaths after Page handcuffs Allin after a two count. Page practically begs Allin to give up, but Allin insists to the referee that he wants to continue the match, so Page destroys Allin with slams. Allin forces a comeback with a headbutt and an incredible hands-free hurricanrana on Page and dropkicks to the Gatekeepers. Page stops Allin on the top turnbuckle and hits him with a powerslam from the top rope, but Allin refuses to quit and spits at Page. Page is enraged and hits the RKEgo and a powerbomb to finally pin Allin in this match.

After the match, Page berated Allin for being a loser who is pitied by the crowd. The Gatekeepers then put Allin in a body bag, and Page declared that Allin should consider his career to be dead. Allin was then taken away, and Page stated his intentions to become the Evolve champion.

There is an annoying logic hole in the middle of the match where the referee should have disqualified Page for handcuffing Allin, but you could dismiss it by countering that Allin wanted the match to continue. The match served its multiple purposes well, using Allin’s never say die attitude to make Page look vicious and petty while allowing Allin to show resilience and bravery in a unique way. I dread the idea of Ethan Page as Evolve champion, which taps into a metanarrative heel heat as he builds his case to challenge for the Evolve championship.

6. Matt Riddle vs. Drew Galloway

Because Timothy Thatcher missed months of Evolve shows in 2016, Matt Riddle became the unofficial face of Evolve. His development took place most prominently in Evolve. Galloway, a former Evolve champion, was himself once the face of Evolve, but his crusade to save Evolve from itself seemed to fizzle out due to his injuries. Riddle hits a charging knee strike to start the match with a near fall, and he followed up with an exploder suplex and a running senton. Galloway recovered, and they brawled on the floor. Galloway slammed Riddle on the metal guard rail and targeted Riddle’s ankles and feet. Galloway then countered Riddle’s strikes with a short piledriver for a near fall. Riddle arose to continue to hit Galloway with strikes, but Galloway cut Riddle off with a running kick. This only stunned Riddle, who then hit Galloway with the fisherman brainbuster to lay both men out. They rose together and continued their battle, and Galloway got a near fall with the inverted Alabama Slam. Riddle countered the Future Shock with the Bro to Sleep. Galloway countered Riddle’s senton with double knees, set Riddle up on the top rope, and hit the air raid crash from the top. Riddle kicked out and frustrated Galloway. Galloway tried to hit the Future Shock, but Riddle escaped and hit a tombstone piledriver. Riddle then pounced and locked Galloway in the Bro-mission, forcing the referee to stop the match when Galloway appeared like he could not defend himself from Riddle’s hammer fists.

This was very entertaining, though it felt like Riddle and Galloway could have an even better match in the future. Galloway can claim that he never gave up and was cost the match by the referee stoppage. The finish also plays into Riddle’s MMA background, keeping that aspect of his work firmly in the crowd’s mind.

Galloway tried to tombstone piledriver Riddle on to a chair and Riddle’s championship belt, but Williams and Yehi drove Galloway away. Larry Dallas and Earl Cooter appeared for a momentum killing segment. Yehi then accused Riddle of being selfish and challenged him to a match.

7. Evolve championship match: Timothy Thatcher (c) vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

By this point, Timothy Thatcher had become the most hated wrestler employed by Evolve and WWNLive. The string of listless title defenses in 2016 and his disappearance for months in 2016 didn’t help the perception that Thatcher had been exposed as a poor professional wrestler. I have said previously that Thatcher’s skill had been in his attention to detail during his matches; his struggles feel titanic and his matches demanded attention to detail. However, even that skill slipped, and the crowd was frustrated with Thatcher because he seemed unemotional in the ring. This coincided with Matt Riddle’s rise in Evolve, which included unsuccessful title challenges for Thatcher’s championship.

Zack Sabre Jr. only became more famous in 2016 after his participation in WWE’s Cruiserweight Classic. After the recent announcement that he would face Katsuyori Shibata for the Revolution Pro British Heavyweight Championship at New Japan Pro Wrestling’s 45th Anniversary show, Sabre’s chances of winning the Evolve championship seemed to plummet. After all, how could Evolve change from one champion who missed months of shows to another champion who could be similarly limited because he would have commitments to fill with New Japan.

Sabre and Thatcher charged each other at the opening bell and sought to trap the other in an arm bar. Sabre locks Thatcher in the guillotine, but Thatcher escapes with ground and pound strikes. The crowd began to chant “Ooh, Zack Sabre Jr.” but quickly changed to chanting “Thatcher’s garbage” and “Ooh, Thatcher is garbage.” This finally got Thatcher to react to the crowd; later in the match, Thatcher shouted, “I’m fucking winning” and smirked when Sabre was laid out in the corner. Thatcher used his size advantage to force his way out of Sabre’s holds and change the pace of the match by suplexing Sabre with a belly to back suplex. This match had a more urgent pace than their previous matches, which matched the crowd’s energy. Sabre eventually gains the advantage and locks in the octopus hold, but Thatcher escapes. They trade submission attempts as they enter the nearfall sequence. Sabre traps Thatcher in the double arm bar, but Thatcher counters into a cradle for a two count. Sabre follows up with a bridging German suplex that gets a two count. Sabre tries to press with the penalty kick, but Thatcher counters it with a dragon screw leg whip and follows it up with a gutwrench suplex and an arm bar. Sabre escapes by touching the ropes, Thatcher counters the PK, hits a dragon screw leg whip and follows with the gut wrench suplex into the arm bar. Sabre makes the ropes. Thatcher shouts at the crowd, giving Sabre some much needed breathing space and recovery time. Sabre attempts the O’Connor roll, but Thatcher escapes and locks the sleeper hold. He then transitions to the prawn hold for a near fall. Sabre kicks out and hits the penalty kick. He locks in the triangle choke, but Thatcher escapes. Thatcher hits the knee strike and locks Sabre in the sleeper. Sabre escapes and traps Thatcher in the octopus hold and beats Thatcher with elbows and kicks. Sabre traps Thatcher’s free arm and forces him to submit to win the championship, causing the crowd to erupt in celebration with one of the loudest cheers I’ve ever heard.

There was a sense of urgency in this match that was missing from other title defenses, and Thatcher actually showed some personality by smirking at the crowd and interacting with the audience, which is an advantage that professional wrestling has over other forms of performance.

Sabre jumped into the crowd to celebrate, and Thatcher pried the championship belt from Stokely Hathaway’s grip. Before Thatcher could hand Sabre the championship belt, Ethan Page attacked Sabre. Thatcher dropped the belt and walked away; ACH, the next challenger, forced Page to retreat. Sabre then cut his short promo about how wrestling and this planet is for everyone, shook hands with the roster, and left. Keith Lee was the last person to shake hands with Sabre, and they shared an intense staredown before Sabre went behind the curtain.

Sabre went to his merchandise table as I was on my way out of La Boom, and I wanted to tell him how entertaining his match was. More importantly, I wanted to tell him how proud I was that he believes that professional wrestling is an inclusive art form despite its dubious history of inclusiveness and sensitivity. I felt energized after the show; as much as Timothy Thatcher was key to my entry into Evolve, I feel that Sabre and Evolve’s burgeoning roster can continue to entertain me in some new ways. This was another Evolve show that is easy to recommend.

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positivepsychologyinterventions · 5 years

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Podcast: Is Kanye West Helping People with Bipolar Disorder?

Kanye West’s interview about living with bipolar disorder has recently made the media rounds. Mr. West speaks about not liking medication, about mania being a creative outlet, and the career edge he believes he has because of living with mental illness.

Suffice to say, whenever someone gains an audience by speaking about living with bipolar disorder, our hosts are going to take notice. Do they agree with Mr. West? Listen now to find out.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“Do you know many homeless schizophrenics who are eating well?” – Gabe Howard

Highlights From ‘Kanye West Bipolar’ Episode

[1:00] Kanye West’s interview on ‘My Next Guest Needs No Introduction.’

[4:00] David Letterman tells his story about mental illness.

[12:00] What is Akathisia?

[19:00] Talking about bipolar mania.

[22:00] Should we take mental health advice from famous people?

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Kanye West Bipolar Disorder’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Gabe: Welcome to this episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. I’m Gabe, bipolar.

Michelle: And I’m schizophrenic. I’m Michelle and I am not as loud as Gabe apparently.

Gabe: That’s unusual.

Michelle: Unusual I’m usually the loudest person but I think you just won, okay, and whatever that was.

Gabe: Let’s talk about loud mentally ill people that maybe shouldn’t be as loud as they are.

Michelle: Why who could you be talking about, Gabe? I can’t possibly think of someone that’s a bit loud in the mental health field that makes it on all of the news just kind of ruins it a little bit for all of us I’d say.

Gabe: It’s really sad because it he’s got a platform. I mean whenever he talks about living with bipolar disorder the media immediately reports it. And as a guy who, one, lives with bipolar disorder and two wants to talk about living with bipolar disorder and three can’t get the media to report shit there’s this massive anger and jealousy that comes from what he chooses to say.

Michelle: Do you think people have figured out who we’re talking about?

Gabe: You know it depends on if they have Netflix or not and if they know who the fuck David Letterman is.

Michelle: We’re talking about Mr. Kanye West.

Gabe: And Kanye West, we’ve talked about on the show before when we’ve talked about celebrities but he has a new interview with David Letterman on what’s it called? This next guest needs no introduction?

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: And he talks about a lot of things. Let’s not throw away the entire interview. First off if you are a fan of Kanye West if you’re a fan of his music, his creative pursuits, his endeavors, they spend the majority of the time talking about that but of course there’s this the section where they talk about.

Michelle: When he discusses mental health and medication.

Gabe: And when he discusses living with bipolar and the creative process.

Michelle: And living with bipolar. But one specific part really got to me one key part was good is that he wasn’t putting down people taking meds but the reason that he doesn’t take any meds. One of the main reasons was because they made him fat. The second reason he doesn’t like taking meds, is because it “stifles his creativity.” And that was a huge reason about why I didn’t want to take meds when I was younger when I was around 18 or 19 starting meds in college. I would say that I’m taking these meds and I was an art major and it was ruining my artwork and I couldn’t do my artwork anymore because of the meds or I couldn’t play lacrosse good anymore because of the meds. I would come up with all these excuses and I would blame medication and I’d say I’m just going to not take my medication anymore it’s ruining everything.

Gabe: You know what really stifles creativity and ruins everything? Dying by suicide.

Michelle: True.

Gabe: That really just stifles just I mean pretty much life. This is why these conversations always sort of irritate me. Nobody is taking medication because they’re not really sick. The people who are being prescribed medications for mental illness their quality of life is in the toilet man it just kind of irritates me because everybody thinks that people who are taking psychiatric medications are just like they’re perfectly fine. They just have like maybe little issues here and there no people who are being prescribed psychiatric medications are really sick. They have suicide attempts. They’re cutting and they have homelessness. In serious cases of violence or attacks against others you were hallucinating and you were so paranoid that you thought your mother was trying to kill you. But what you were worried about was that your creativity was going to be stifled.

Michelle: Yes exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Gabe: It’s almost like you weren’t thinking straight.

Michelle: What if Kanye West wasn’t a rich person right now? What if he was poor? What if he was homeless?

Gabe: It’s interesting because let’s not pick on Kanye West the whole time. You know David Letterman said something that I thought was really really interesting. He said that for a long time he, David Letterman, didn’t take any medication or help for his mental illness but that he was so angry and paranoid and frustrated that he used to rip phones off the wall and throw them against other walls and it would take two or three days to calm down from these angry outbursts. And then he did this at work for 10 years before realizing that he needed medication. Now, Michelle, as somebody who’s been fired from 11 jobs.

Michelle: 8.

Gabe: 8 jobs. How many of those jobs did you rip something off the wall and throw it against the wall in front of your co-workers?

Michelle: Zero.

Gabe: Ok. And you still couldn’t keep a job because of your schizophrenia?

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: Yeah but apparently this guy could keep his job in spite of being I don’t know what crazy, and I don’t say that lightly. It’s just he was so sick and so angry and so symptomatic he was putting other people in danger and his workplace covered for him.

Michelle: Right.

Gabe: Because he was David Letterman.

Michelle: Right. He was saying that he got this far, at this point in his life not being on meds, why does he need meds now? It’s going to change who he is and then he said that after doing all that his doctor finally said can you just try them now? please? And then when he took them it was a whole new way of life. It was like wearing new glasses.

Gabe: And this was frankly an elite figure talking somebody who’s famous, on television, wealthy, has a lot of resources, and he now sees the benefit of getting the proper treatment for mental illness and the rest of us we don’t we don’t have that kind of coin. I don’t think that I could throw a phone at you, Michelle, and keep our podcast.

Michelle: Oh, hell no.

Gabe: Let alone doing this so often for a decade that the doctor has found out about it. It’s like I don’t know, David, I don’t think you should throw phones at people anymore. Maybe you should just try it? Could you imagine having that? The rest of us would go to jail.

Michelle: You know what’s really funny? Everybody knows that Naomi Campbell threw a phone at her assistant and nobody knows that David Letterman used to rip phones out of the wall and thrown them at people or whatever like that. Come on? Men versus women. Come on. That’s it. I’m turning this in to. That’s a bit sexist, Gabe.

Gabe: I thought this podcast was about how we were angry at people for spreading misinformation about psychiatric medications. We now have to discuss misogyny too?

Michelle: It always is misogyny. You always hear about the difficult women you never hear about the difficult men.

Gabe: You’re right. For example when we heard about it from Naomi Campbell we just thought that she was a bitch. We just thought that she was mean and angry. But when we heard about it from David Letterman, we thought he was sick. So this is just another reason why this medication conversation really needs to be more nuanced and more understood because imagine if Naomi Campbell needed medication but her doctor wouldn’t sit her down and discuss it? Because a doctor is not going to tell you you’re a bitch. But a doctor did tell a man that he was mentally ill. So it could have been that much longer before Naomi Campbell got the help that she needed because she wasn’t looked at as symptomatic. She was looked at as evil and unhinged, and, well female.

Michelle: Well do we even know what the Naomi Campbell does have a mental illness?

Gabe: I honestly don’t know. But I guarantee that her doctors aren’t talking to her about it. We’ve all just rolled our eyes that she’s just some crazy person that throws phones at and by crazy I don’t mean like mentally ill crazy. I just mean like you know just mean.

Michelle: Just, yeah.

Gabe: Whatever. And that’s just so sad because maybe she is symptomatic? I don’t know if she has a mental illness or not. But you know David Letterman threw a phone. He’s mentally ill. She threw a phone. Maybe she’s mentally ill? Or maybe David Letterman is just an asshole that throws phones?

Michelle: Hold up. We have to hear from our sponsor.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Michelle: And we’re back talking about bipolar in the media.

Gabe: You are right. We give men a lot of cover and we’re giving Kanye a lot of cover because we think that he’s brave for talking about living with mental illness so publicly. But let’s dissect that message for a moment. His message is if you have bipolar disorder, you don’t want to ruin your mind by taking medication. So therefore don’t take them. Now for a multi-millionaire platinum selling rapper, maybe this is the best decision. But the majority of the people hearing his message are not famous multi platinum selling artists.

Michelle: And that’s why it’s dangerous for him to be saying these things.

Gabe: Exactly.

Michelle: And the other comment he said was that he didn’t say this word for word but he did make a mention that psych meds made him fat and now he’s letting people know that oh psych meds can make you fat. The thing is psych meds can have a varying anything kind of side effect and you’re not going to know what the side effects are until you take them and see how they react to your body and it can be annoying but then you can also take another medicine that will fix that side effect. You have to try different things. And just like I always say, there’s a gazillion different medications for a headache, just like there’s a gazillion different psych meds. You have to figure out which one works for you. All of them have different kinds of side effects. Some might be weight gain, some might be weight loss.

Gabe: I feel like you’ve said that like a couple of times a million times.

Michelle: I’ve said that. I’ve repeated it over and over again because there’s people out there like Kanye West making statements that psych meds make you fat and if you’re a young girl growing up like I was and if I ever heard psych meds make you fat and I’m growing up in high school thinking I have to be skinny skinny skinny skinny skinny oh wait I’m supposed to take a medication? Wait, they can make you fat? I’m not going to take that because it’s going to make me fat.

Gabe: And this is so scary because what is essentially being said is that you would rather be dead than fat. Because that’s what you’re risking. Mental illness is serious; bipolar disorder 15 percent death rate, schizophrenia 15 percent death rate, both by suicide. So by not getting the correct treatment you are raising your odds of dying by suicide. Unfortunately people with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, we tend to get fat anyways even when we’re not on medication because we can’t afford expensive foods. I mean you know a lot of like for example homeless schizophrenics who are eating well? You think we’re eating lean meats? No, we’re eating junk food and fatty foods that we can find. I think we just really need to understand that there are worse things in the world than being fat and maybe a 16 year old doesn’t understand that. You always say 16 year old girl but they’re 16 year old boys that don’t understand that either. Look nobody wants to get fat. We all agree we all want to be thin healthy supermodels and look fantastic. But in order to look fantastic we have to be alive and there’s more to health than the number on the scale.

Michelle: Very true. And I don’t think being fat is really the worst side effect. There’s many worse side effects. Have you ever had akathisia before? It’s awful.

Gabe: Explain akathisia to our listeners.

Michelle: Akathisia. For me it came from taking a certain antidepressant but it basically feels like you are jumping out of your skin you can’t stop moving, you can’t stop talking, you can’t stop doing anything. It’s so awful. It’s just like there’s things crawling inside of you and you want to rip your skin off. It’s the most horrible feeling ever. I remember I was driving and I’d had akathisia and I wanted to vomit because I was sitting still for so long. I just thought I was going to puke from sitting still. It’s that awful.

Gabe: But isn’t it OK to have that feeling as long as you are pretty and thin?

Michelle: No.

Gabe: But why do people think that? And I’m being serious. I’m not setting up anybody for a joke it’s just we do have this tendency in our country, in America, to feel like how we look is the most important thing and we don’t care how we feel. You know people on psychiatric medications they’re being treated for a reason. They feel suicidal, they’re hearing voices, we’re hallucinating, we’re depressed, we can’t get off the couch, we can’t hold down jobs, we can’t sustain meaningful relationships, we don’t find enjoyment in life and medication and therapy and coping skills and support groups all of those things combined to fix that. Listen, I would rather be fat and happy than a very beautiful corpse or a very beautiful person who can’t leave his house because he’s just too terrified due to anxiety and panic.

Michelle: And that’s true. But you know what I did when I explained when my current doctor? How it was that I had taken an antidepressant like that before and I got this feeling and that’s when he told me what akathisia was and now I was like, “Oh, I had akathisia?” And he goes, “Oh, if you have akathisia, just take this medication with it. It will go straight away.” And I was like, “What? I just have to take another pill and akathisia won’t be there?” So I had to do is take another medication and your side effect goes away. Ta-da!

Gabe: And that’s not the only way; sometimes they can you know switch drugs. Use the example of antidepressants. There’s lots of anti-depressants and classes go together. So for example let’s say that they prescribe antidepressant A and it causes akathisia, for example. They may say look antidepressant B is very close to A. So we’re going to move you off of A and put you on B and see if that symptom clears up and then when it does, you can stay on antidepressant B for a very long time. I’ve been on some of my medications pushing almost two decades now. It took a long time to find the right combination. But once you find the right combination, it’s just little tweaks here and there. You know it’s kind of like how it takes you a long time to find that perfect dress but it only takes you like five minutes to put it on. It takes a long time to find the perfect combination. But once you have the perfect combination then it’s just a matter of accessorize it.

Michelle: Exactly.

Gabe: Got to find the right shoes.

Michelle: Exactly. And then when you find that perfect combination you’re just that the best you can be. That’s how I feel. I’ve found the perfect combination. And I’m so happy.

Gabe: One of the things that of course we started off this conversation was “it stifles my creativity.” And of course I go for the big one, you can’t be creative if you die by suicide. But let’s dial that back a little. You know obviously suicide is the worst case scenario and it’s the thing that I’m most afraid of in the world. But it’s not necessarily the biggest, not the only thing that stifles creativity. For example, if you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed, how creative are you? If you can’t leave your house, how creative can you be? Because you can’t be inspired by nature. If all of your friends aren’t talking to you and your life is chaos and everybody’s angry, what does that do to the creative process? And of course if you can’t support yourself, if you can’t you know work, or get food, and you don’t have a stable living situation, or know where your next meal is coming from, what does that do to creativity? I love working with you, Michelle, because you’re kind of a little bit of a stereotype in a way because you’re mentally ill let’s just own it. And you’re also an artist.

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: Talk about how this journey was for you because I know in the beginning you were very worried about not being able to be an artist if you were on medication and clearly you don’t feel that way anymore.

Michelle: Well at the beginning really a lot of it was artwork. It was sports. It was talking to people. I could not find the right meds for a very very very long time and just everything a lot of it was with sports like if I had a bad day I would blame it on my meds. Like if I did bad at practice. It’s because of my medicine I’m never taking my medicine again. It makes me bad at sports or like if I was in art class and I felt like I couldn’t draw something right it was like my medicine gives me bad ideas now. It just blaming it is blaming blaming blaming everything. If I thought I was just having a bad conversation in some way or anything. Anything that I thought went wrong I would blame my meds. Anything. Not just art, anything I blamed the meds.

Gabe: I’m stuck in traffic, stupid meds.

Michelle: Everything so I was just on and off and on and off and on and off until I finally just said you know what, I’m happier on meds. I’m going to take them and then I saw my life get better. You know I actually really saw my life get better and other people started noticing that I was happier. I wasn’t as moody. My closest friends is kind of said like, “Have you been taking your medicine? Like what’s different with you?” It was awesome.

Gabe: The most success that you’ve ever had as an artist.

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: Has come in the last three years.

Michelle: Mm hmm.

Gabe: And during the last three years you have been I hate to say med compliant but yeah you have been?

Michelle: Right.

Gabe: So before you were on medication you probably did have creative streaks like you said you’d get anxious and you draw these very detailed drawings but it’s once you got stable and on the right medication that you were able to go to the next phase which was to sell them and prepare them and market them and now people literally all over the world have seen your art. If you were still unmedicated do you think that you would have started your clothing line and published your prints and things like that? Or would you still be sitting alone in your room being very creative but with nobody to see?

Michelle: If I was unmedicated, I’d be dead.

Gabe: Okay. But let’s say that you weren’t.

Michelle: Okay. Yes. But say I wasn’t dead?

Gabe: No, no. What you are describing is sitting alone and drawing.

Michelle: I see what you are saying. If I was unmedicated, I would not be here. like I would not have a podcast, I would not have a company, I wouldn’t have anything. I’d be living in my childhood bedroom being like, “Oh yeah, I guess I have my sketchbook still with my markers. I’m still drawing all these drawings and not doing anything with them anymore.” I mean I would have never done anything. I would’ve just been doing nothing. Getting yelled at by my mom to clean my room.

Gabe: That’s always the message that I like to get out there. You know bipolar mania. It has this public relations problem.

Michelle: Yeah, what he said of ramping up.

Gabe: Oh no.

Michelle: Ramp up. Yes. He kept saying. That’s when he was getting closer to God.

Gabe: All exciting the universe is flowing through me. It’s amazing. And listen, maybe if you’re a multi platinum multimillionaire famous artist this works. But I’m telling you, for the rest of us, for me and for thousands of people that I’ve talked to with mania, we feel like God is working through us. We feel like the universe is working through us. But when we look back at what we’ve actually accomplished, the answer is nothing. We had a whole bunch of ideas and we talked a lot but nothing happened.

Michelle: Yeah. When you’re Kanye West you have the money to actually make things happen.

Gabe: And people are following you around and writing it down.

Michelle: I mean I could understand why he can get all manic and everything like that because he has thousands of millions of followers and lots and lots of money. I can understand why he gets like that. Like just all he has to do is think about all the money and think about all the influence he has. Think about how he’s married to Kim Kardashian and what you make about him who he is and how famous he is. If I had all of that I’d be like Yeah. Look at me look who I am. I’m rich I got all this I could do whatever I want if I want to do it and I’m going to do what I want to do right now. I’m gonna make a phone call. I’m gonna make it happen. Yeah he can be as creative as you want to be. All you gotta do is make a phone call okay.

Gabe: But it’s not creativity, it’s voyeurism. People are watching him because they’re fascinated and you brought up the Kardashians. For the purposes of the next couple of minutes, we’re not talking about mental illness. Nobody is mentally ill. You are a 22 year old woman and you call up Kim Kardashian, and you say, “Hello, Ms. Kardashian. I need some advice for starting my career.” And Kim Kardashian says, “Here’s what you’re going to want to do. You’re going to want to open a social media account and post pictures of your butt. You’re gonna want to go out all night and be seen drunk in various bars.”.

Michelle: She doesn’t do that.

Gabe: “If you can have some friends that can get into fights and scandals with you? You really want to create a lot of buzz around all of the things that are exciting about glamour and makeup and fashion.” Because all of this worked for Kim Kardashian, and she’s famous for it and this is an excellent idea. If you’re the Kardashians. But do you really think that the average 22 year old should really just be posting pictures of her butt on social media Is this a good idea for her?

Michelle: This is the weirdest comparison, Gabe. We just made the strangest comparison.

Gabe: I’m not making a strange comparison. I guess I am, and I’m just saying that what works for the Kardashians is not going to work for the average person. But for some reason.

Michelle: Yeah, but a lot of people try. A lot of people try.

Gabe: Yeah, and what happens to those people?

Michelle: Good question.

Gabe: They fail miserably.

Michelle: They fail miserably.

Gabe: Good question. Nothing. Nothing happens to them but for some reason when Kanye West gives out mental health advice people are like I’m gonna follow that. That’s a good idea. Isn’t that a bad idea? Maybe we shouldn’t get our mental health advice from famous people just like we shouldn’t get career advice from Kim Kardashian unless you want to be a reality star and then maybe. But it’s not. It’s not one size fits all. And I do dislike how everybody is getting their advice on living with mental illness from famous people. Their lives are not the same as ours. For one thing they have money, resources, help, and health insurance. A lot of people with mental illness have none of those things. We consider ourselves lucky because.

Michelle: I’m very lucky.

Gabe: Because we have a supportive family and because we’re middle class so if we’re lucky for having a supportive family and being middle class, where is Kanye West? We’re lucky. Gabe in Michelle are lucky. So he’s just out of this fucking stratosphere.

Michelle: Yeah I think it’s also interesting that he said is that you know he’s been bipolar, you know he’s been diagnosed, you know he’s only had it for two years. And I’m like wait, wait, wait. You’ve been diagnosed two years ago. How long have you had it?

Gabe: Yeah. Oh yeah, he’s had it his entire life.

Michelle: Just because it was diagnosed two years ago, doesn’t mean you’ve been bipolar for only two years.

Gabe: Yeah he’s just skated by without a diagnosis.

Michelle: Everybody should just know that just because you’ve been diagnosed at a certain age doesn’t mean you only had it since that certain age.

Gabe: We’re kind of nearing the end of the show and I think we’ve covered a lot of stuff. Again Kanye West, as a rapper, as a performer, as an artist, my hat’s off to him. He is apparently amazing.

Michelle: He has talent.

Gabe: He is incredibly talented but I have to I just have to say as a mental health advocate he is dangerous and misleading and one of the things that he said that frankly in my opinion was the most offensive thing that he said is that he is the most famous bipolar there is. And the minute he said that all I could think of was, where the hell is Carrie Fisher when you need her? Like she is going to rise from the dead and say, “Excuse me? Fuck you. I’m Princess Goddamn Leia. I wrote a book about bipolar disorder. I advocated all over this country.” And I got to tell ya, most people over the age of 50 have no idea who Kanye West is. They all know who Carrie Fisher is. This is proof the dude is bipolar because thinking you’re the most famous one is straight up delusional.

Michelle: I loved what you just said. That was amazing. I love that.

Gabe: Thank you everybody for listening to this episode of A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you are not sharing us with your friends, that means that you’re not sharing us with your friends. What kind of a friend are you? Social media makes it easy. We can’t make it easier. Please jump over to PsychCentral.com/BSP to find your favorite episodes and post them everywhere. We will see everybody next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe, go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. This show’s official web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at [email protected]. Thank you for listening, and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

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