#whether he's pre or post having been graceless (season nine canon)

[waywardfeathered]

@collidingxworlds said: “ you’re not alone, okay? not anymore. i’m right here with you. ” [[ inbox call: from this meme || Gabriel! Not sure about the timeline? Could be somewhere before Gabriel's "death" in season 5, or something set later either season 13 (but my Gabriel is canon dive, so some stuff changes in my portrayal compared to canon) or a canon div where he shows up (to Cas) earlier than he does in the show? ]]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒    /    ACCEPTING ↷

Cas inhales, as if to say something, but remains silent for a few, long minutes. How the act of drawing in breath can hurt... & for a being who does not even need to breathe. This vessel has become more real than his celestial form, for Castiel; complete with his emotions living in his flesh, his sorrow in the sharp intake of air.

❝ How can you say that to me? After everything? ❞    he replies, finally. He means to sound demanding, but the words come out just sad.

There’s a desperate part of him that feels so young (even though he’s never been young); he may be ageless, but  Gabriel is still his big brother.  Someone he used to... someone he’s always looked up to. He doesn’t think he’d be who he is, without Gabriel’s influence. It feels like several lifetimes ago, before he left Heaven. And look at them now... the both of them, outcasts. Cas yearns to have the companionship and acceptance of even just one of his siblings, but even though Gabriel leaving Heaven all those millenia ago, and more recently, faking his own death, wasn’t about him leaving Castiel, specifically... He’s always felt abandoned, and now he also feels betrayed. He has no right to, not logically, but...

❝ It does not matter. ❞    He stares hard into the horizon. How can he let himself hope? Better to assume Gabriel is going to leave when he’s had enough. Worse, maybe this seeming kindness is a falsehood to begin with, a trick.

#collidingxworlds #i'm so unbothered by canon i honestly can't even tell what is divergent and what isn't on your pages XD #everything just reads like 'oh yes makes sense' (i haven't rewatched season thirteen gabe era canon in a while) #so that is to say. go canon divergencies! handwavy at canon plot. #i'm thinking maybe option c. where gabriel shows up - to cas at least - sometime earlier than season thirteen? #vague post season nine noises... #my portrayal mostly just differs somewhat in castiel's ... vibes ... #whether he's pre or post having been graceless (season nine canon) #so i'm going post graceless. #but i'm not bothered about the overall plot and it doesn't really matter to me where post season nine this would be #if even canon compliant in anything other than what's relevant to the thread #but also let me know if something does not work! #; wayward angel ❪ verse / main. ❫ #; collidingxworlds / gabriel / 001