#whoops thats exactly the trait i gave to discacc akira. that one is 100% from me.

[orcelito]

Ok it's kinda rly fuckin weird that like. Ex assistant manager n me r like... idk things r still pretty awkward but it's not quite Tense anymore. Today she sent me the creme brulee recipe n gave me a few pointers & I asked for her to check it at a few points n like. It was just so Normal???? But it was the most I've talked to her in uhhhhhhhhhh like 3 months lol. Bc otherwise the only time she talked to me since everything went down was to tell me there was a gift card for someone to pick up at the front bar. Like THAT was really weird too bc it was the First Time she'd talked to me in so long and it was just so matter of fact. So Normal.

N idk. Idk how I feel about her bc like yea she made my life Suck for like 2 months but also I have short term memory re: interpersonal relationships n if someone is being nice to me in the current moment that's what exists and like everything is chill actually. Like should I still be mad? Probably. Am I? I don't really know.

#speculation nation #whoops thats exactly the trait i gave to discacc akira. that one is 100% from me. #except the resentment doesnt actually go away. it just sits there n at the first opportunity it EXPLODES out #but if things keep going well n theres no opportunity then even that resentment fades #anyways i have a shift tomorrow that overlaps almost entirely with hers #n i had a thought of like 'oh god i need to make sure i land in the back for that' #except like if i Was working front bar with her like. we could probably manage??? if shes chill like she was today #i dont know it's all so confusing. still almost feels like shes going to turn around n start yelling at me again #so yeah maybe im not over it maybe im still a wounded lil dude being like 'oh dear someone i thought of as a friend hates my guts and was #mean to me so now i need to quit my job and go hide under a rock for 3 months' #really the only reason i didnt quit was bc my tax return was so late in coming in. had i actually gone thru with it idk where id be #certainly not the new assistant manager in training to the bubble tea store ive worked at for like 5 years #but i dont know if it'd even be a bad thing to be gone. im happy n proud of being promoted n i do love the store #n i like my job when customers arent being terrible / i dont have to deal with them #ok it's almost midnight i didnt get enough sleep last night n im starting to resemble a blubbering blob on my couch #metaphorically. 0 tears in actuality bc im a bad bitch (& by that i mean emotionally stunted so i rarely cry) #see? see! right there. blubbering blob. self pity party. it's late and im sleep deprived and i need to . sleep.. #gotta stop being so pathetic lmao (impossible) #sleep. will be good for me. #maybe i'll listen to some music with my new ear buds. hmmm