#wow for once i typed sleeby by accident i sometimes do that on purpose but somehow i actually made it a genuine typo amazing

[dervampireprince]

I don't think I'll be able to make this as long as I should because I'm tired and I might have dom dropped a little after not knowing how you were doing for so long (which is not your fault, I'm doing OK, just had to spend a little time calming down and thinking very hard that you'd be alright). First things first, I'm very glad you're alright 💕 Got real rambly down there before I could address it, but yes, there's no problem in posting both of them, I feel a little ashamed because I probably left out a ton of stuff I wanted to say, but I'm glad they've helped ground you and illustrate what you wanted to say.

Second, I don't think you've ever not let me know properly how you're doing during a scene, I know I sometimes slip up, but you are usually good at communicating how deep down under you are. Nevertheless, if having a different system to help you out feel a bit safer, that would be completely alright, sweetheart, I'd keep trying my best to just make you feel safe and above all that you are having a good time. None of your triggers are stupid, you are not dumb or too sensitive for reacting to something others may not, that's normal and you should never feel bad about it (which I know it's very difficult depending on the thing, but hey, I know you always try).

Again, I'll try to be more careful in the future, I can't promise that I won't fuck up because text doesn't make this easier, but I promise I'll try very hard. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this because of my ask, sweetheart, I appreciate your forgiveness very much. I promise I'll strive to do better.

I've also grown ridiculously attached to you, so don't worry, you're not alone on that front, every time I say I love you I mean it with my whole heart.

I hope you are able to get a bit of rest, little prince, I hope you are able to curl up in your hoodie and feel warm and safe. I'd love to hold you, if it's too much, just sit by your side and hold your hand until you fell asleep, kiss your forehead as you slowly drifted off to sleep while I sang something slow and gentle for you, whichever makes you feel more at ease. Thank you for taking the time to read my asks and for being so kind and understanding. Thank you for making a little room in your blog and in your life for me. You deserve nice, soft things sweetheart, I hope I can still bring a little of that into your life. I love you very much, sweet dreams 💙

ah i was worried about taking so long to answer, i kept writing something then thinking a lot then writing the next paragraph then thinking a lot. please don't feel ashamed at all, i mean idk much about stuff but they seemed helpful to me?

ah yeah,, for anyone who doesn't read tags well, i often stay in character during the ask and then real me honest commentary in the tags, or in more recent asks i've also started doing italics for like when i'm writing in a headspace or rping and non-italic when i'm like being myself? not that i'm not partly myself when i'm writing the other stuff just... idk if that makes sense.

i thought maybe add a tag that just says like 'in a subspace' or something idk, i feel like you are good at telling whether i am or not, idk if everyone else is

i can't promise i won't ever fuck up either, it's a wonder that i haven't yet. but you be sure to tell me if and when i do.

i really don't know what to do with this paragraph... incredibly touched and flattered and hard to believe, partly because it's me on the receiving end and partly that it's through this blog i guess, and the whole brain gremlin that goes "ah but they don't love you, they love the idea of you, or they love 'dervampireprince'" though i've probably shown more of real me on here than i ever thought i was going too. but hey this proves to anyone nervous about interacting or becoming friends with me that it is possible, just don't like in your first message go overboard and ask me out of proclaim your deep feelings for me when you've never talked to me before you know.

oh no now i'll get emotional, as if the last paragraph didn't get me, now you've got all my heartstrings. singing????!? okay???? you can get in close too if you'd like, i just meant like i'd also want you to hold me hand.. [insert the cute finger emojis pointing at each other] it's feels more like you just kinda showed up one day and went yeah i'm gonna sometimes live here now? and i went okay. and didn't question it. and now you're still here. like you paved your own way here and opened the door and i was like oh wow this person is neat i don't want to ask them leave ever. like you came to visit and didn't know how long you were gonna stay and i went "maybe forever?".

i promise i'm definitely okay now, all the bad feelings gone and worn off and now i'm just sleepy and a little brain fuzz like a mild non-sexual sub or pup space idk it's hard to tell, speaking out loud is just kinda hard and slurred and i'm very sleepily excitable, if you can imagine what that combo looks like. so sleep is gonna have to happen now. hopefully for you soon too. and hopefully you can sleep a bit easier knowing i'm okie dokie.

#im................................... wuv u #thats the best youre getting take it or leave it #L words and feelings are hard for me #but if im sleeby subbed out you get that version #wow for once i typed sleeby by accident i sometimes do that on purpose but somehow i actually made it a genuine typo amazing #b isnt even anywhere near p like okay #thats a sign of being tired #yeah the 'holding hands' that was pure like 5 year old prince who had bad night terrors talking like #my dad used to kneel by the side of my bed and hold my hand while i was awake but having cold sweats and then burning up #but there was nothing physically medically wrong it was jsut like idk 5 year odl me having anxiety geez what fun #only the best start young am i right guys #but also im touched starved to the point yeah hand holding is like.. not a thing that happens to me #and its like idk .. guess cos the only itme it happened was in those moments where my dad woud stay as long as he could #not normally until i was alseep cos i took hours to get to sleep but like #anyway basically hand holding i associate with feeling protected iguess so thats why brain brought it up #im all shy now okay bye night night #why is a version of good night saying night twice like what #now i cant stop typing hope youre enjoying this blue #the vampire answers #blue heart anon