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So excited about the being a lesbian

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shitposting today.. choose your fighter

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what’s derek nurse’s major? wrong answers only

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when bitty will be famous he’ll go on red carpets and bring jack along and though everyone knows jack doesn’t like this, he must be really used to being on red carpets at this point, except that when it’s time for posing for photos, jack doesn’t even look at the camera but at bitty, and there are dozens of montages on the internet with all of jack zimmermann’s red carpet heart eyes. fans literally gather together for red carpets. “will he do it this time? will he? will– OH he’s doing the THING” 

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I just need to be kissed on the entire face

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It's missing Jack Zimmermann hours

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dex, drunk, in the kitchen with bitty. circa 2017: i’m like the lost property brother, but i flip gingerbread houses

bitty: you’re so wise

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Check, Please! as a Netflix Original Series • Year One Read Here • Template • Click For Better Quality

The sad part is, I can tell he’s lying not because of the library part? But because he’d never leave a pie unattended.

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I couldn’t not do it

inspired by this, originally from this wonderful comic #bless

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ollie used to figure skate so he’s even more offended when bitty can’t tell him and wicks apart, because the two of them went to figure skating competitions together when they were teenagers.

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Stares at the solar eclipse with no glasses:

Ransom

Holster

Bitty

Shitty

Chowder

Nursey

Sprints out of the Haus handing out glasses:

Lardo

Jack

Dex

Witnesses the solar eclipse with bare eyeballs and no repercussions:

Johnson

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Hello, it is Tuesday and it’s been a while since I’ve done a Holster shitpost. I miss my lorge boi. 

Bonus:  Holster: Bits, can we talk? One ten to another? Bitty: I’m an eleven, but continue. 

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Jack Zimmermann on drunk history.

So, we’re talking years down the line. Stanley cup champion Jack Zimmermann has come out, married Bitty. They are both degrees of celebrity and Jack entertains people with random historical rants on twitter. Like, there’ll be nothing for two months then a mass of tweets about some battle you’ve never heard of then nothing again for weeks or whatever.

And the drunk history people approach his agent who turns it down because Jack and alcohol but Jack finds out. And he’s like, I see where you’re coming from but I’m in a good place and within limits I’m willing to do this. So the drunk history people have to agree to not push him to drink more, Bitty and Shitty are both going to be there but he’s basically up for this.

And everyone but everyone is expecting uptight hockey robot Jack Zimmermann being, like, 110% intense about hockey history or something.

Instead they get Jack Zimmermann speaking about historical gay romance, lying in his husband’s lap and keeping interupting his own stories to tell Bitty just how much he loves him. Bitty is delighted. Shitty cries at the beauty of it. The world loves it. When he sobers up again Jack is kind of shy about it in a pleased way. Like, if you mention it to him he blushes and smiles and talks about hockey at you.

It’s adorable.

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Kent and Kit at some point

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Jack Zimmermann joins a photography class/group at a library in Providence. He’s just known as Jack there. Maybe only like one person there knows that he is THE Jack Zimmermann and that’s only because of the registration. He makes sure to never wear any Falcs gear or Falcs colors

He keeps a low profile, he’s quiet but he offers up good critique. He has a good eye. A genuine desire and enthusiasm to become better. Everyone really likes him.

Slowly he becomes less nervous and anxious and more comfortable around the group. He’s not worried that he’s going to be judged or found out and given unfair treatment. 

And they notice. Because he laughs more. Even smiles. He lingers once sessions are over. Gets together for coffee when his schedule allows, both after sessions and on days off.

He starts bringing in things that Bitty made but he won’t get a chance to eat, or that Bitty made for him to bring.

He warns the group when he won’t be able to attend.

He slowly starts bringing in more photos, not just local scenery and geese.

He brings in photos he takes when he visits the Haus. When Bitty is visiting. When he’s on roadies. He doesn’t show any faces.

The photos of Bitty are of his hands. His back and shoulders. There’s a few neck down shots of him working in the kitchen in Jack’s apartment.

The group realizes how big a sign of trust this is.

Slowly the group puts together WHO Jack is. They each have a quiet oh moment and move on. They have a meeting outside of their meetings without Jack and agree that they really like the person that they’ve gotten to know and don’t want to spook him. They like Jack from Photo Group and don’t care that he’s Jack Zimmermann.

They also realize how important Bitty is to him, make the connection from the person in the photos and the baked goods he sometimes brings with him. Again it’s something they decide not to bring up.

They don’t say anything when Jack comes in late and tired, looking worse for wear after a game or a long flight. Don’t mention any injuries aside from wishing him a speedy recovery.

Jack eventually grows so comfortable that he brings Bitty with him. He doesn’t introduce him as his boyfriend but there’s an instant understanding with everyone in the room. They connect the photos and the baked goods and see the way the two act around each other and make ANOTHER vow. 

They love it when Bitty comes because Jack is always at his happiest and Bitty always brings baskets full of goodies. The first time he meets them he asks them all their likes and dislikes and the next time Bitty brings something for each of them.

It gets to the point where Bitty is sending Jack in with goodies for birthdays and such when he can’t make it and being like “This is from Eric, he’s sorry he couldn’t make it”

They love Jack and Bitty and don’t want to make things awkward and like it’s just an open secret. They know who Jack is and that his friend Eric is his boyfriend but they don’t say anything. And Jack and Bits don’t say anything to them.

Bitty invites them over to Jack’s apartment for a dinner party. Something he made for his vlog.

And of course because Bits is there he tweets about it and Instagrams it. And Jack Instagrams it. (He has two. One that’s for his photography and is personal and anonymous and one that’s his JZimms official account).

And after the party one of the members of the group is just scrolling through their phone when they’re at home/hanging out with friends/family and someone is like “IS THAT JACK ZIMMERMANN?” And they’re like “Yeah, he’s in my photography group.” And they’re just freaking out and the person from the group is like ???? He’s Jack from photo. He’s really chill. He always brings us treats and he’s got a really great eye and he gives really good critique.

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Ted Lasso Text posts: Part #3 (royjamie’s verison)

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