thanatos891

[thanatos891]

seen a this edible aint shit but for adderall

[thanatos891]

Imagine not paying a single bill in a house and screaming that its yours.

[thanatos891]

[thanatos891]

It's kind of a dick move tbh, but if a customer is going out of their way to be mean to me for no reason and/or demand something that I know we don't have/is against store policy and then demand a manager, especially if I know they're busy, I pretend to call for the manager, but not actually hit the speak button on the radio and keep "trying" every few seconds while explaining to the customer that "no one is responding" or they're "busy" enough times that the customer gets fed up and leaves.

10/10 definitely recommend it if you work at a job where you use radios and especially recommend if management doesn't have specific obvious uniforms or if the dress code is lax/unenforced so it's not obvious who is a manager.

[thanatos891]

tell me something nice

[thanatos891]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again.��as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[thanatos891]

trying to be a kinder and more understanding person doesn’t mean eradicating every feeling of anger and irritation you experience

[thanatos891]

[thanatos891]

The perfect AITA

[thanatos891]

how these dudes in they 30s but can’t host?

[thanatos891]

this image is slaughtering me

[thanatos891]

[thanatos891]

I cannot get over this omfg

[thanatos891]

[thanatos891]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: “Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says: "Ya know, I’d herd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I never seed nobody done it.”

[thanatos891]

These

[thanatos891]

Anorith tribute