thatbitchery

[thatbitchery]

personal finance, simplified

Honestly I've done all I could for you ladies. You can never accuse me of letting you starve.

Heres what everyone must have

IRA. Individual retirement account.

High yield savings account. Money Market funds are known to be great for this.

Emergency fund and sinking fund. High yield savings accounts like MMFs are great for this, too. You must have up to 6 months of minimal expenses covered. Calculate it & start today.

Tips;

If you're broke, save. If you're earning, invest.

Define your rich life (the I Will Teach You To Be Rich book by Ramit is great for this) and make a plan.

If the numbers you need are big (and trust me, they are. Work your emergency fund out &see) don't worry, start small. Step by step does it.

If the interest in your debt is over 7% focus on paying it off as aggresively as you can. 5% even. You have to beat inflation.

If debt interest is less than 5% monthly & investment interest is above 7% monthly, focus on investing & pay off debt slowly, you are above inflation

Don't focus too much on picking the 'right' investment. Index funds and unit trusts will do that for you, and money Market funds operate in the same financial market with slight differences, no one is better than the other. Focus on your individual relationship with the SP. Whats their customer service like? Management fee? How many fees do you incur? What's the risk potential vs your risk appetite? How long has it been in operation? The longer the better. Economy falls and rises, that's normal, don't focus on that.

Compounding is the name of the game. If you're chasing quick profits don't bother,tangible profits compound over 5 years.

IRA is non negotiable idc how old you are. IRA.

Start small. Grow overtime. Compounding is the name of the game.

It is in fact, this simple.

START HERE.

[thatbitchery]

Level up secret; resist the survivor's guilt and savior complex that follows making it out of the streets.

⚠️controversial opinion⚠️ but that's why you're here, isn't it?

Heres the rule of the journey, you never look back. Most ladies make it out of the dirt broke life then sabotage everything by refusing to cut ties with it in the name of *I dOnT wAnT tO fOrgEt wHeRe I'm fRoM*. Girl no, forget. In fact do everything in your power to erase that part of your life off, and if you can't use it as a oh yeah I made it, like Anna Bey and Ronaldo and Rihanna does, you pull a Jennifer Lopez and sabotage all your progress. We have a fun story in the Bible about a certain woman that couldn't resist the urge to look back and turned into salt, yes its that serious. They call the Bible the greatest collection of philosophy to exist for a reason, if you look back you turn solute. That survivor's guilt of I made it but my, usually relatives, didn't so I have to keep tied to them will sabotage everything. That little savior complex of needing to save everyone will be the end of you. The most loving thing you can do as a woman is be self centered and selfish.

If women were self centered and selfish the world would be a better place, I will die on this hill. If you want to social justice fix the world so bad be boujee and expensive and hot and intellectually unconquerable, that's your service. Salvation is for the men, it was Jesus not Mary. Could've been Mary. It wasn't.

When you make it out of the ghetto the people you left behind resent you. They resent you because you hold a mirror to them, you're proof it can be done & because they didn't you very directly call them lazy and unmotivated just by existing. You hold a candle to all their flaws. You say hey look it can be done so why haven't you? They stop cheering the second you're one step above them and the sabotage begins. The idea that because they're family they're on your side lol. I say human beings are animals first, the day you get this the day your life gets easy. Your family is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it. Your dad is your dad there's nothing you can do about that. Your friends people please you because you can cut them off but your sister is your sister, you're stuck. In my tribe we say a ship sinks from the hole on its boards, not from the waves. It's all from within. Or we say the lice lives in your hair, it's not the things outside that harm you, downfall is always an inside man's job, who k1lled Tupac? Who betrayed Jesus? Who fought Meghan Markle the hardest? Your family and social group is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it, the faster you cut them off the better. Yes I've been accused of being too cutthroat too edges and sharp points yes I'll admit to it, why, because I didn't grow up privileged enough for the people around me to hide how much of animals they can be, I've seen the world in all its colors.

Lets take two ladies, me being one of them. Let's call one Alison and the other, me, let's call me Jessica. So Allie and Jessi. We met in uni, first year. Two peas of the same pod. So I'm black and Allie is Chinese, and we both come from poor families. So Allie and Jessi of course hit it off because misery loves company, our classmates will just never understand why we aren't jumping on a plane to the Four Seasons because they're aristocrats and we have to pay our sibling's school fees, naturally we gravitated toward each other from the moment we met, first year first week I made a friend. Of course we have the same goals so we pair up, partners and all. The difference is,I immigrated in high school & went to a boujee school that taught me stoicism and self centeredness and how life works as early as 14. Allie came for uni so she grew up with her family that taught her to be the masculine provider and work hard to support everyone so she spent high school studying for 4885799 hours a day then doing six jobs at night to pay for daddys gambling and bro's video games-

in case I didn't say this the patriarchy isn't as insufferable in society as it is in your household. Your brother and father could easily easily easily be your first abusers, and they usually feel entitled to your free labor because they ArE mEn. Yes sometimes moms if she's a single mom but no one feels more entitled to your paycheck than your bro and dad, @ me and tell me I'm wrong.

Back to the story, I've learned to focus on me first then the rest while Allie has been taught all her life its them first then maybe her but that's selfish. Because she's hardworking with that traditional Chinese work ethic & we utilize my networks Allie gets a job that actually pays more than mine does- more power to her. In no time she has two high peyong jobs, bombing her classes and overall being perfect, good for her. Because we are friends I teach her all I can about personal finance and how to set yourself up for a great financial future and because she's the smart one she teaches me to study and balance my work and school and personal life. Symbiosis at best. Reciprocity. Second year we part ways because we chose different electives and she transfers campuses. It's good. After a while Allie wants to meet up. I've done well for myself now, being a young adult and all, and I expect being obviously the better one of us with more opportunities she's done better for herself, so we get coffee and I'm excited for all the tips I'm about to get because she's smart like that, always something to learn from her. We talk for a while and boom. Allie needs some money.

Hold on. Rev tf up. Did you get fired? Because I talked to your workmates and you're doing good? No she isn't fired. In fact she got a third job online. Okay then what's going on? How can you be broke when you are doing better than me? I'm struggling to make my one little job work?

You know I send money home.

All of it?

Well they keep asking. When I say no they guilt trip be about I left for the west and got white washed and bla bla bla bla in conclusion dad is draining my pockets dry to be able to brag to his little drunk buddies his girl is in the west. I can't say no.

Uh, you can. No. It's, two letters. One syllable. No. Easy Peasy.

You don't understand my family worked so hard to give me this opportunity-

No. They didn't. You did. You worked hard and won a scholarship out of thousands of people at a top university, nothing they did could secure you that. You did

Ma'am goes on and on about bla bla it's family so bla bla bla I can't forget where I'm from I'm not like you so I-

So I cut her off. If she were like me she'd be making more than a high earner in interests per month. If she were like me she'd be incredibly selfish and only send home a fixed amount and nothing above. If she were like me she'd understand you can't pour from and empty cup, now that you have nothing who's benefitting? If you said no they'd be mad for a while then you'd build a financial base and in three four years give or take you'd be able to send more than they're asking you for and not feel the burden of it , but you have to keep looking back, don't you? It'S fAmiLy? Okay and? So are you. Are you not THEIR family? Do you see then looking out for you? A doormat is a doormat, ma'am. Laying yourself for your family doesn't make you some kind of holier doormat, a doormat is a doormat. That survivor's guilt of I made it and they didn't will be the end of you, trust me on this.

When you leave, you cut your ties for a while, that's the name of the game. Sometimes you cut ties forever. Jennifer Lopez & her documentary getting roasted left right center by people from the Bronx because she's trying so hard to fit in but they resent her for leaving when they didn't. When you make it, either the people you left get inspired and pull themselves out or they resent you, there's no in between and more often than not it's the latter. Forget where you came from. Ronaldo is from the streets and he casually mentions it but do you see him trying hard to fit in? No. Rihanna will mention once oh yeah I come from the roughs of the Carribean, that's it. End of story. Trying so hard to reconnect with where you're from is a death trap, the people you left behind expect you to finance their lives so its yeah you're from here so pay all my bills and give me a job at your office or you're fake. When you get wealthy your family that isn't yet suddenly need a couple thousand every month & if you don't provide it you're a whitewashed sellout bla bla bla & even if you do give it they'll resent you more because they feel looked down on & once you show them you need their approval you're dead dead. The Anna Bey method of using your past to sell three figure courses is my favorite. When you make it and get famous it will be your childhood friends and ex classmates and cousins spilling all the negative tea about you and exaggerating. If Meghan Markle taught you one thing let it be this. You're on your own, kid.

We will talk about this, soon, but helping people only causes them to resent you. You make more enemies being charitable than being selfish, we'll get to this.

Resist that survivor's guilt thing and never look back. Ever. When you leave, leave. Change your name if you have to & get plastic surgery or whatever. Don't look back. Matter of fact do everything to never be associated with it outside acknowledgment.

START HERE.

[thatbitchery]

Ive been undergoing speech therapy for a month, give or take to empower me with the tools to speak better given I struggle with public speaking or just speaking in general bc a) English isn't my first language, & I'm really bad at the verbal / spoken part of it b) my accent which is notably better now but could get better and c)articulation, intonation, pronunciation & pitch, I'm a really fast speaker & somehow soft spoken & past that age where I can get away with it ksksks.

That said here's some mouth exercises I've been using to compliment my learning from this public YT video, in case you're looking to be a better speaker yourself.

The thing with self improvement, is that it's up to you, YOURSELF. Proactivity is the name of the game.

Ps: it's going good loves & my coach says I'm getting better Yay so maybe I'll do that podcast thing in May as part of practising & improvement, stay tuneddd.

Start here

[thatbitchery]

the "so TBY you keep saying we shouldn't consume action based content, only consume philosophy and knowledge based content. What does that mean?" Masterpost.

The Yes you should consume list

Philosophy (Jordan Peterson, etc)

Science

Fashion & styling

Finance. For God's sake please overconsume finance.

History and culture

Government politics, GOVERNMENT, not social. International politics matter. We are talking economics.

Skills eg sign language, knitting, etc.

The Why Would You Choose To Consume List

Social politics X social justice bs

Action bases self improvement [how to be that Girl, etc]

Out of touch negativity , things you can't solve anyway

Gossip & pop culture

Pseudo X new age bs (manifesting, energy whatever, whatever divine bla bla)

Empty information. Like why do you even know that.

Shortcut; whatever moves your locus point within you, yes. Whatever is outside your locus point, what's the point. Internal locus>>> external locus. What's a locus? Find out ;)

[thatbitchery]

Its not about being rude and uncouth and unsocial and uncultured. So many times newbies, especially retiring people pleasers, walk into level up spaces thinking being that bitch and having boundaries is about being hard on the edges , rude, and unapproachable. Yes retiring people pleasers need a bitch phase to balance their doormat phase and forgive themselves but it has to be short lived, and very tastefully executed.

Theres a stark difference between people respecting you because you are valuable to them, have boundaries, are anti bulliable , you've earned your place to the table and they know there are consequences to certain behavior AND people walking on eggshells around you because you're an emotionally immature pressure bomb minefield of a person that goes off every second you can, defensive , brittle , rude and so locked in within your defensive walls you can't see outside. Both are better than being a people pleasing doormat. One is beneficial, the other is the fastest path to fumble your bag. Yes as an ex people pleaser you should have a bitch phase but careful with it, and make it fast.

Ladies being that bitch is about being independent. It's about being independent enough that you do not feel the need to people please but also secure enough in yourself that you do not feel the need to wage war the second someone steps on your shoe when you can just but new ones. I speak a lot, and will till forever, against letting people walk over you and take advantage of you and how you need to bully your bullies the second the bullying makes a debut. Stomping the tree at its sprout. What I will also speak on is the importance of

a) realistically gauging your position and ammo. That means if someone more powerful than you is bullying you its better to people please and find a way to appease to them by not being a threat because waging war against the Queen of England as a servant in her castle because you're 'that bitch' is a death wish. This quote from the drama /Itaewon Class/ that says something around stubbornness without power is stupidity is pure wisdom. Sometimes you grit your teeth and take it while planning your exit, your pride isn't that important. If you punch a mountain only one of you will break. Thatbitching demands using logic, not ego or emotion. First gauge your ammo then act accordingly, plan your exit and do not dig up more snakes than you can kill.

b) choosing your battles. Is it that deep? It's *That* deep? Yes the second you see any sign of being bullied push back but is it necessary? Ladies you're not a soilder on duty. Don't carelessly go to war. If the lady at the convenience store is being rude just find another store? If a friend you need starts acting flaky just reduce them to acquaintance and move on. If the waiter was being shaky just leave or request another. Is it really that deep? Yes be confident but also learn to avoid unnecessary conflict and more importantly, conflict resolution. Enemies to friends are the best stories, was it that deep? No need to collect enemies like Pokémon cards, it's not that deep. Relax.

c) elegance and gratefulness. The second you start throwing words you lose your that bitch card. Elite ladies have mastered the art of wiping the floor with you without using one bad word, insulting you, using your past against you or your life disadvantages. Elitism and thatbitching is the art of independence, meaning you don't have to rely on stooping low or being rude to get a point across, you can do it by yourself. First, it's basic human decency to be kind and polite- and these things don't matter when everyone is being kind. Being polite doesn't matter when people are polite to you that's a natural reaction- it's a reflection. They are polite to you, what color does your insecurity have to be for you to out of the blue be impolite to them. True politeness and how much of a lady you are is tested when people are being unkind and impolite to you, that's when how much of a lady you are matters, and the most Elite and the that bitches do not change their values to match their environment. We don't match energy we do us and leave. Keep that polite when the disrespect is served and learn to put your foot down, serve cunt and wipe the floor with them without uttering one bad word, raising your voice, pulling their pasts or disadvantages from under them. This, this is where it matters. This is thatbitchism.

START HERE.

[thatbitchery]

The most effective unorthodox discipline advice I've received came from my bedmate in high school (daughter of a military household, you get the idea) was to live as if everyone that has ever doubted, shamed, hated, degraded (&c) me was watching me through spies and binoculars and I had a secret spy camera on me 24/7 and if I was ever caught lacking, I'm giving them the permission to do that to me and believe all those things about me. 24/7 , like I need to prove a point. Got me square real fast because one of my major goals in life is obviously to flex on the opps, why would I let myself get caught lacking?

START HERE

[thatbitchery]

Good morning ladies 'tis a gorgeous morning to unsubscribe from the scam that is /guru culture/. Let's talk about this.

First, do I believe in self help? God, no. Why? Because it's not possible. Sorry to hurt your independence miss ma'am but social species here- functionality is in community. I have pointed out over and over and over again how self help & the industry is extremely damaging and I might not go as far as to call it a capitalistic method of prying on the imperfect nature of human beings but I mean is it wrong? The idea that there's something wrong with you that needs fixing isn't all that wrong, trauma is compulsory to everything with intelligence which means we all do need a little bit of fixing and it's helpful in the evolutionary process of progress but there's that and there's 7989969 people pointing out how broken you are and how their 500$ course will fix you. Yes progress is great but be careful to not turn yourself into a thing that needs constant fixing. It's growth, not fix, and while I can admit yes guidance is great- all that? Alllll that guidance? What about self discovery? I'm all for self improvement, I really am- but you have to be VERY careful self improvement doesn't turn into a hamster wheel of searching for the next way to fix this thing that is you. Its GROWTH, not FIXING, and ive spoken enough about what kind of content you should consume (philosophy & knowledge based, not action based, in case you forgot). And for the fifth billion time, you don't need to know all that. Information consumption is so extremely destructive & I'll keep reminding you of that till you get it.

Back to the main topic, which is the pandemic that is guru culture- relax I'm not about to demonize your little god that could never be wrong. There's a HUGE difference between something sounding like it's good for you and it actually being good for you. The biblical phrasing for this is *there is a way that seems right to a (wo)man but in the end it leads to destruction*. Just because it sounds good, doesn't mean it is good, and your human need to evolve by progressing by constantly wanting better could easily trap you. Look, human beings are social which means hierarchical which means worshipping, easy explanation for why we have all these gods just floating around. We need to look up to something, or someone, and in the past that was God. Now its your dad, or bf, or Kim Kardashian, or a guru online. I do not demonize human nature I think I've based my entire brand on this, I actually advocate for it- but consciously. I've said this before just choose a God out of the millions existing and dedicate yourself to them because one way or the other the way a cow will eat grass a human being will worship. You can't beat millions of years of adaptation- it's better to worship a mythical creature you can not see over a person on a screen because more often than not that's what guru culture is- worship. They seem like they know better so in them I trust. That thing they just said makes ZERO sense but it's because I'm not connected to the *divine feminine*(what does that even mean). See that thing they did was weird but that's because they're more advanced and I'm not. They use big spiritual words so they're right. They dress like that so they're right. This person said they helped them so they're right. That justifies a 3000$ online course. This doesn't feel right, but that's because I'm not at their level yet. WORSHIP.

Human influence is cheap as air. Social species, again= easy to influence each other and worshipping species = easy to be influenced by our object of worship & animal nature just makes it so easy to be influenced, something as simple as colors and facial expressions and scents and ambience could influence you so hard. I wont go into it but to put it simply- animals live on instinct, aka how their environment influences their response to survival & human beings are masters of manipulating environments, we have planes and blush babes. It might be hard for you to accept bc it doesn't feel very bad bitch independent queen of you but 80% (inaccurate) of your choices, interests and ambition are a result of environmental influence. Move out go to a different environment come tell me you're the same person let me call you out on your bs.

If you EVER. EVER look at a human being and think "you could never be wrong" run. RUN. Run. That's cult behavior and is called worship, as a CHRISTIAN I can point out at least ten things I find wrong in GOD. GOD, bestie, GOD. I read the Bible and think lol okayyy haha no, anyway. If you look at a HUMAN BEING and can not spot that, run. If you look at 100% of my content and never find anything you disagree with either block me or lmk so I can block you, tis a slippery slope you're on. Very slippery.

Daughters of strict fathers I'm looking at you. ESPECIALLY YOU and your worshipping tendencies. One, fuck your dad . Two, get therapy. ESPECIALLY children of strict households that were never allowed to be people in themselves and were taught only other people (usually parents) know what's good for them & they can not be trusted to make their own decisions (Asians × Africans × Hispanics how are we?) This is for you. They were wrong, you can make your own decisions. You do know whats good for you & if you fuck up so what. You're not God. That's how we learn. Stay away from dating and online gurus okay? Okay. Yes consume content, but philosophical and psychological and knowledge based, yes? Never action based. Back off all that and learn to listen to yourself, your intuition, etc. You can not be controlled parented forever. This is how we grow.

In areas of pseudo X new age, so- divine feminine (whatever that means), manifesting, quantum leaping- you know the drill. RUN.

If you want to be feminine go to therapy. Or watch therapy based content (from a licensed LCISW, PLEASE). If you want to achieve your goals, work. In these spaces please just don't. I can not even explain the sheer amount of damage you are about to jump into. I can't. RUN.

Here's the thing- I do think and know for a fact you will benefit from learning and guidance, and if you have it in you to resist the need to worship (short cut, just pick a God at least you won't watch them die someday) and can watch or read content and think so yeah that's bullshit, but this here is good advice so okay- go for it (and the second it gets to worship RUN.) I know you need guidance that's why I'm sending you to a therapist, they're licensed. They're accountable. They're centralized. Your online guru could just delete their account today and go. Your therapist will have to give up their career for that. If you must follow, follow someone that's regulated by a centralized system. Or;

Follow people that allow difference of opinion. There's a guildeline of what passes for cults (Idr where I read it) but no.1 on that list, is whatever restricts difference of opinion is a cult.

Follow people that don't try to teach you how to think. I'm looking at you new age. It's manifesting specifically, of course, I'll never stop calling this bs out. Any form of "don't think about" or "only think of " is literally cult behavior. Also under the guidelines. You're not , you literally can NOT control your thoughts. There's a difference between "try and focus on the positive" and "if you focus on the negative you're attracting it"(yes, that's real helpful for a brain that does not process negatives Sarah) one of them is a guideline. The other is a threat. If I have to tell you that whoever tries to control your thinking is controlling you you might be a little too gone.

the second you find yourself laying your life on the line to defend a human being that's not your child or family or friend, run. They can pay a lawyer if they need one so bad, or a PR team.

500$ for an online course? Lol okay.

Ladies, growth is done through experience and healing + learning through community. One of the reasons I'm working so hard to turn my BMAC into a community that my ladies and I talk *about* things rather than me talking *to* them about things is this- healing and learning is about community. Yes we are hierarchical so someone has to sit at the head of the table (literally never sit at a table with no head. Ever), but there's a difference between being guided through and being dictated to. If you want to learn, find a community & jump into experiences. If you want to grow, experience. If you want to heal, also find community. None of those includes a know it all guru.

START HERE

[thatbitchery]

My therapist telling me there's no such thing as healing from trauma that's just a word they they throw around in wellness circles and the way to deal with your past is to learn to look it in the eye and not run probably quite literally saved my life.

Before you debate this with your PHD psychology from the university of Social Media, she's *my* therapist, not ours. Focus on being gentle with yourself.

Over the years I've learned the way to deal with everything, especially negative, is to not only look it in the eye but own it. This is particularly true to things that you're supposed to find humiliating and shameful. First off humiliation and shame are a waste of emotion, unsubscribe and accept as you grow you realize how silly you've been in the past, that's just life. Also, no one cares that much,love. No one.

Heres an example, take, having a promiscuous teenage phase, right? Leveling up is realizing there's no freedom or progress in promiscuity, (go cry feminist in the reblogs) - so you clean up your act. Be more feminine. Get your stuff together. Network and rise up the ranks. Move out of your teenage area to a better one- we are doing good- but one day in that one very important networking event you run into Alexa the Record Keeper, so Alexa and her jealousy decides to play wolf and attack. Oh my God you've cleaned up so well. No one could know you slept in more beds than you've had scores oh my God. Girl you used to be so on fire, the boys would tell us about you oh my god-

Now, you could tuck your tail between your legs and let everyone know you can be bullied by excusing yourself and leaving.

Or you could decide to let everyone know you're a doormat by trying to explain and justify and play victim

Or, you can look it in the eye. You can "wait, I remember you. Oh my God Alexa you look great too! Wait, wasn't Dustin your boyfriend? Girl he'd tell me so much about you, like, damn. No I did have a wild ride, good old days. I'm sorry about your bf, I was a teenager. And I did you a favor, you don't want to marry someone that tells others about your unpleasant tiddies and bed sounds, right? No girl he'd tell me everything- you know boys-"

Rule no.1 - never let anyone get away with bullying you. Bully your bullies.

Rule no.2- don't run. Own it.

Rule no.3- never explain never justify never deny.

You need to learn to look your shame in the eye and own it. No, yes I did that, and I had a field run with it. What about it? No, you're right. I am that. So? What about it? Oh my God yes I did this thing, you remember? Ah good times. The things I'd give to be the kind of girl that can do that again, it was everything. No you're right this is in fact true about me. Fascinating, isn't it? I can't imagine not having it.

Bully your bullies, always. Don't run, don't hide, own it. Do not explain do not justify, do not deny.

Look it in the eye and don't run. Yes its true. What the fuck about it, Bob?

START HERE

[thatbitchery]

&ladies remember getting in touch with your femininity goes beyond pink and appealing to the male gaze and playing damsel & whatever. Part of femininity and getting in touch with your femininity is getting in touch with the side of you that's destructive. The feminine creates. The feminine destroys.

The most obvious and overused depictions of femininity are the earth and nature. So beautiful. So nurturing. So aesthetically pleasing. Flowers and ah the rolling hills-

Its also storms. It's also volcanoes. It's also hurricanes and tsunamis and Predators.

In fact nothing is as ruthless as nature is, nothing. No single dictator can cause as much damage to anyone as literally just three minutes of an earthquake. That's also earth, isn't it. The ruthlessness that's deserts and quicksands and the ocean and Predators and canyons and volcanoes and the Bermuda triangle. Isn't that earth. Isn't that femininity.

The idea that to be feminine is simply to smile and- for heavens sake don't do this im begging you- speaking in feeling sentences and pink and crossing your legs and whatever perform for the male gaze manifesto you're on and nurture bla bla is dumb.

To be feminine is also to be capable of mass destruction. Is to be ruthless when you feel disrespected and show no mercy when your boundaries are crossed. If you dont treat the earth well it simply gives you no fruit or food or water, go figure. If you do not stay within your limits and walk the jungle discarding its rules you get eaten by some predator, opps. If you wanted to survive, you shouldve followed the rules. If you wanted rain maybe you shouldnt have cut the trees? Thought of that? If he wanted to keep you maybe he should've treated you as you deserved? If they wanted your friendship, maybe they shouldve respected your boundaries? Easy enough isnt it? This is where Chinese and Russsian women get it right- the highest form of femininity is to be able to make a room full of people feel at home and warm . It's also having them know it's at your mercy. And no, it's not dark femininity. It's simply femininity. With no earth there's no humans. With no nature there's literally no life. Without women the species dies. Easy peasy.

The feminine is the most apex of predators, remember this.

START HERE.

[thatbitchery]

When it comes to escapism and excuse allocation detail orientation has to be my favorite to come across based solely on how annoyingly bizarre and baseless it is that I'm literally captivated by people that partake in it. It's, really. Really. Of all the channels of Laziness you choose the dumbest. You woke up today and thought damn let me announce to everyone I'm lazy and low vibe and downright stupid. And no the problem isn't detail orientation, I'm saying this as someone on the spectrum- detail orientation is my curse I notice everything - the problem is making the choice to let it make you stupid. You're supposed to use your affinity to detail to make your life better not let everyone know you have the IQ of a sea cucumber.

What do I even mean? Well when it comes to weight loss fitness, wellness, medicine and nutrition all agree you need to consume less carbs and sugar, have longer fasting spells and move more. Everything else is useless unless you're training to be an elite athlete then yes by all means count your macros and micros. Even your grandma agrees with this- but then there's Laziana with her 'yes but research also shows whole grain can-' have you tried just , idk, doing the thing? Have you given it a shot? 'Well no because research-' sit down. Accept you're lazy, looking for excuses and go on with life. Then we have Justica the Social Justice warrior with her 'Well that's ableist as they come some people have genetics that don't allow them to-' have you tried just ignoring it then? No? You MUST have the world know this thing that serves others does not serve you should not exist because obviously everything must revolve around you and that being said it should be shut down because why would anyone have access to a joy that you don't? Do you not know how dumb you sound? I was on a finance workshop just last week where the instructor was having us do a have 1000$ in MMFs by end of April and we had a little miss Opressda the heavily Oppressed explain how she can barely get by a month let alone save that much. Okay, how much can you save a day? ThiS iS sO eLitiSt mOsT of uS caN bArElY afForD fOoD iF I hAd a ThOu I WoUldNt -' instructor says a thousand is an ideal number, it's not a military order it's a literal suggestion aim for a thousand you'll probably get to five hundred and that's enough. yEs bUt won't you let me explain how oppressed I am in this class that I signed up for by letting you know how im a victim and nothing will work and you are evil for suggesting I can do literally anything when I'm so OPPPRESSSEDDDDDDD. 🗑 🚮 . You evil evil personnnnnn. 😈

Ladies learn to take the general message + what resonates with you and go. Please don't announce your stupidity it does nothing to you. I'm not demonizing detail orientation- you want to notice everything trust me- I'm saying using useless baseless little details to allocate blame and excuses and play the victim card and as a form of escaping action is stupid. If there's nothing you can do shut up and turn your focus to someplace you can actually change, if there's something you can do do that and go home knowing you did your best. You're burning networks and self isolating doing all that, no one that respects themselves will even look at a person with that kind of attitude, do this the English way and KEEP CALM AND MOVE ON. It's okay if you don't want to do anything about it but jumping into details to justify Laziness is just annoying.

Do what you can and move on, won't you? Why announce your incompetence and low vibe? I know you know you sound- and are exhibiting very strong indicators of being- stupid. Can you not. Take what resonates and go.

Start here.

[thatbitchery]

The way I see it every decision that you don't make /for/ you has the potential to be /against/ you. Passivity is a dangerous game, in the same way living in the defense victim mentality is, you give up control for reaction.

Choices / decisions are a lot like flying a plane. When I was getting my flight license one thing my instructor drummed into me was every single thing I do on that mental monster has a ripple effect that could literally take lives. 0.5° deviation from your initial path seems like nothing but you keep at it and you end up four states away from your destination. One wrong number in altitude, you read one number wrong, you touch the wrong button once, pull the wrong lever and DO NOT CORRECT IT ASAP and you could easily cause international friction and chaos. This is the same thing with choices, the choice to let someone get away with crossing one little boundary today could cost you your entire friendship. You miss one class and don't study for it could be the reason you don't graduate this year. You decide to take your foot off the gas just once, once and you could change the trajectory of your entire life. I know a Juilliard graduate Broadway wannabe that said the wrong thing just once to some random guy who turned out to be an executive and had all doors shut in his face. Life is a ripple effect. It's just fries today until you're fries yourself in a month. It's just a new bag until you're 25 no investment portfolio. It's just one drink because you're stressed and we are on AA. It's just that one day you chose to look dusty that you meet a talent scout. You have to examine your choices carefully.

What most successful people don't tell you about success is that a huge component of it is chance & luck (& by luck I mean when preparation meets opportunity). I am where I am bc some random day when I was a preteen I was surfing the internet and came across some scholarship ad. Wasn't Adriana Lima just walking? Nick Jonas just helping his mom out? Jang Won-Young just attending her sister's school event? Wasn't that purely chance? But if they were looking dusty having an off day whatever do you think they'd have gotten that opportunity? Do you think if I had below average grades at my old school I'd stand a chance? If /all/ I had was grades do you think I'd score that scholarship? If I didn't have a passport ready?

You have to understand every choice you make will have a ripple effect and although you can not always be perfect you have to try. Christians the Bible literally say to chase a God Level perfection because yes its not achievable but in pursuit of it life happens. You have to self monitor like there's always a camera on you. You have to reevaluate words before you say them. You have to ask yourself what what you wear, say, watch, post , where you go, etc say about you. Why? Life happens in chances. And choices have a ripple effect that you don't see right now, but will experience the effects of long after you've forgotten about them. You're procrastinating right now because someday in the past you chose to put off a task you had and it built into a character trait so that now that's your default and you can not bring yourself not to. One day you made the choice to not study and now look at your grades. One day you made a choice that got you here, and some of them subconscious. You have to master your mind. You have to learn to self monitor. The person you will become is dependent on the choices you made today, and they seem inconsequential, but they pile up. One point deviation and you're doomed. It is that serious. It really is. You have to learn to choose your future always. ALWAYS. Why, a choice that you haven't consciously made /FOR/ it could very easily become/AGAISNT/ it. You are easily your own enemy.

BMAC

[thatbitchery]

No I don't think you understand how important #communication skills are.

ladies, EVERYTHING. Every single thing that you get in this planet as long as you exist, comes from someone. Every single thing. If you want things, learn to communicate.

Daniel Priestly in his feature on DOAC said if there's a resource out there that already exists getting it is a matter of communication. I'd like to add, a matter of value, which is to say to get what you want you need to learn to communicate and to leverage value. Why are both important?

You can communicate better than communication experts but with no value to leverage, it's just yapping. No one is lending you their private jet just because you string words together nicely. You must learn to not only bring value but leverage it so you don't blindside and burn networks or get undervalued and be a doormat.

You can bring all the value in the world but if you can not communicate its useless. You could have all the PHDs in this planet but if you do not know to negotiate for a position you will be jobless for the rest of your life OR get exploited. You must learn to communicate.

To be valuable is to be a resource that your target would not only benefit from investing in but would love to and will go above and beyond to. That's simple. You want to be valuable you take responsibility and fill a gap ie be useful. Value is simply usefulness. The people you want, what do THEY want that you can provide. It's that simple. This isn't about value this is about communication. You must learn to communicate openly, effortlessly, effectively and simply. You must learn to talk to people. 'I hate people' what are you, a loser? Shut up and put in the work to learn instead if defaulting to blaming them for your lack of social skills. Kill your social anxiety ASAP. [A therapist or coach will do but if you kennot here's a crash course on *deanxietifying* yourself- anxiety is a result of a pileup of evidence that doing that thing will hurt you. To treat it is literally as simple as hunting for evidence of the opposite- that you can do the thing and either walk out unscathed or be able to deal with the effects of it. That simple. Evidence. Here's my BMAC line me for my expertise] deal with your accent deal with your language barriers deal with your sentence structuring get a voice coach study the language structure get therapy or work with a coach to learn to say what you want to say effectively- communication is the distance between you and the thing you want. You can not overestimate the importance of proper communication. I can not explain enough how your communication skills are directly promotional to the quality of your life. I can not overstate how vital it is to your entire existence to learn not only the verbal but (and , mostly) non verbal part of communication. Take the course. Talk to your idol. Ask for mentorship. Practise practise makes perfect. Communication is the backbone to everything (not forgetting being valuable and learning to leverage it)

If you can not convince Elon Musk to lend you a Rocket you know nothing on communication, learn like an amateur. The level up never stops.

BMAC

[thatbitchery]

Actually the secret is to be crazy aggressive. The 'crazy ' is not a figure of speech I mean it in the literal sense you have to be mad and aggressive. Life is not won in the defensive. You don't win being cute and tiny and small. Life is won in the offensive, it's about deciding actually yes this is what I want and aggressively with everything you have and more and never ever taking the foot of the gas. Mediocre is the enemy. Average I can stand behind but mediocre, even Satan himself hates mediocre. Why would you choose something like that.

You set a goal. You lock in. You aim. You keep shooting from every angle every single possibility every resource every opportunity every investment it's chasing down every single chance there can be and if you find none you create your own, learn to recognize a niche.

You lock in. You aim, the only time you take your foot off that gas is when you've won.

Aggresively, like you will die if you don't. Any means necessary. That's really the secret. There's really no formula and no complications to it. No magic no manifesting pussi pawa no mumbo jumbo spirituality affirmation whatever escapism bs you're buying into. It's deciding this is what I want. From where I am, right now, what is the first step I can take? And once you do take that step, you never ever step back. It's that simple. It's crazy level work. It's four hours of sleep and forcing your anxiety and insecurities down and faking it till you make it.its the work ethic of housewives in the fifties. It's delayed gratification and milestones after milestones. It's God level resilience. It's grit. It's covering your bruised and enduring. It's pure madness, love. Psycho level obsessive possessive aggression. It's accomplish the mission or die trying.

Its. Accomplish the mission or die trying.

BMAC

[thatbitchery]

You know I'm in my financial education and freedom year which means I'm pouring most of my time energy and attention into making sure I'm a deca millionaire by 30 and of course I'm bringing you with me, so here is more material from my mentor that I think anyone thats working for a better future must know. I will be uploading all PDFs to my BMAC unfiltered membership ready for download, I'm literally doing all I can for yall if you fail its on you.

[Ps, making my first post on UNFILTERED Today, so if you joined before I probably cancelled and refunded bc it had zero posts and I can't charge you for nothing, this is the time to rejoin, if you're still on it. Unfiltered is for a realistic, factual and true approach to leveling up- financially , socially and mentally- and of course its daily posts)

BMAC

#tbyfinance

[thatbitchery]

" As behavioral scientist Jason Hreha writes, “Habits are, simply, reliable solutions to recurring problems in our environment.”As habits are created, the level of activity in the brain decreases. You learn to lock in on the cues that predict success and tune out everything else. When a similar situation arises in the future, you know exactly what to look for. There is no longer a need to analyze every angle of a situation. Your brain skips the process of trial and error and creates a mental rule: if this, then that. These cognitive scripts can be followed automatically whenever the situation is appropriate. Now, whenever you feel stressed, you get the itch to run. As soon as you walk in the door from work, you grab the video game controller. A choice that once required effort is now automatic. A habit has been created.Habits are mental shortcuts learned from experience. In a sense, a habit is just a memory of the steps you previously followed to solve a problem in the past. Whenever the conditions are right, you can draw on this memory and automatically apply the same solution. The primary reason the brain remembers the past is to better predict what will work in the future.Habit formation is incredibly useful because the conscious mind is the bottleneck of the brain. It can only pay attention to one problem at a time. As a result, your brain is always working to preserve your conscious attention for whatever task is most essential. Whenever possible, the conscious mind likes to pawn off tasks to the nonconscious mind to do automatically. This is precisely what happens when a habit is formed. Habits reduce cognitive load and free up mental capacity, so you can allocate your attention to other tasks.Despite their efficiency, some people still wonder about the benefits of habits. The argument goes like this: “Will habits make my life dull? I don’t want to pigeonhole myself into a lifestyle I don’t enjoy. Doesn’t so much routine take away the vibrancy and spontaneity of life?” Hardly. Such questions set up a false dichotomy. They make you think that you have to choose between building habits and attaining freedom. In reality, the two complement each other.Habits do not restrict freedom. They create it. In fact, the people who don’t have their habits handled are often the ones with the least amount of freedom. Without good financial habits, you will always be struggling for the next dollar. Without good health habits, you will always seem to be short on energy. Without good learning habits, you will always feel like you’re behind the curve. If you’re always being forced to make decisions about simple tasks—when should I work out, where do I go to write, when do I pay the bills—then you have less time for freedom. It’s only by making the fundamentals of life easier that you can create the mental space needed for free thinking and creativity.Conversely, when you have your habits dialed in and the basics of life are handled and done, your mind is free to focus on new challenges and master the next set of problems. Building habits in the present allows you to do more of what you want in the future."

-> James Clear

Ive dedicated most if not all of my Productivity 101 (previously Goalsetting 101) membership to habit creation , formation and system automation for this very reason. You are your habits. Goals do not produce results, habits do . Your success or failure is found within your habits -ie automated actions- which make up to at least 83 % of your actions per day. Muscle memory = life. Your muscle memory is your life. Your muscle memory , aka habits, are the determining factor of what kind of present and future you get. Not your goals. Not your ambitions. Not your affirmations. Not your privileges, no. Your muscle memory. I have a guide to rewiring your muscle memory (Mind Mastery, but the soft way aka ADHD friendly bc as a neurodivergent that meditation thing sounds good but I could never) , pass by if you need help rewiring your brain from your current habits / automated actions (ps if you can meditate and stuff, don't bother. Meditation works too). Back to the issue at hand, your automated actions ie habits form the quality of your life. Past. Present. Future. That easy.

You are who you are, where you are, because your current habits X systems allow you to be there. To change, change your automated systems. Easy peasy. If you don't know how, here's a guide. And it's literally all I ever talk about in my Productivity 101 membership on BMAC, my members can attest to

Your habits = your systems = your life.

*mic drop*

BMAC

[thatbitchery]

on #finance my mentor sent me this wonderful PDF this morning and this section had me rethinking my whole life

screaming crying throwing up etc because I did the math and miss ma'am the writer is so painfully on point with her numbers. I hadn't thought of this before but now makes sense why all the gurus say invest in your twenties.

Why? Compounding needs time.

I started investing in my teens, fifteen to be precise when I came into contact with the idea of longterm investments (after falling for a number of ponzi schemes, to be clear) with give or take 1000$ in my first year. That one investment compounded over the rest of the years plus covid to single handedly support my survival and I live in a very expensive country. Very, very, expensive. I took a look at the numbers this morning and girl. Girl.

The skill is investing, and when I say skill I mean it's a trial and error. No one gets it right the first time and there is no one size fits all. Whether it's MMFs or RIETs or S&P 500, treasury Bonds,the stock market or real estate (directly) or directly into a business as a primary investor, there is no one size fits all for finance. You kiss as many frogs as you need to get to your prince, and sometimes the frogs are the dukes and barons to get you to your prince. Investing is a skill, its a trial and error and sometimes you lose sometimes you gain, sometimes you - you know what Warren Buffet said. Ignore the numbers and learn the game.

The secret though is compounding.

Ill go into depth on my BMAC with this (unfiltered membership) since I'm dedicating this year to personal finance I will be bringing you with me and teaching you everything I learn (once more, most of my energy will be going to BMAC). Stick around we are getting to the real practical part of leveling up. Theory has had its time.

Back to the issue at hand, miss ma'am the writer is so on point I can't believe I never noticed this before. The game is compounding and it's run by time. Let's do the math, right? Let's say you have 1000 to an investment that compounds 10% after tax at 20 yrs old. No withdrawals, direct reinvestment you'd compound to at least (not accurate) 870.6 in interests in only six months. If you know anything about compound interest you know that's roughly 2000 give or take in interest only in your first year, which means by your second year you're compounding 3000 in January, do the math. Do that math for ten years, that's how much you'll be worth in passive income at thirty, if you start at twenty. You diversify your portfolio and have say, four different avenues, let's talk about how much you have post tax in a decade (30) from 4000.

Now calculate how much you'll be worth at 30 if you start investing, same numbers at twenty seven.

Time. The investors best friend, is time. Jim Simmons is the investing genius, a hundred times the investor Buffet is, and he's worth less than buffet. Why? Time. He started late. Compounding is a game of time, not skills. That Chanel bag is cute but have you tried your hand at S&P 500? Personal finance is personal, either you take charge of your money or you lose it. I'm not new to personal finance but I just started getting aggressive with it, this will be a wonderful ride. Like I said, most of it will be over on BMAC (Unfiltered).

Start as early as now.

To be clear, I'm not some finance Guru, I'm also learning. Just bringing you with me.

BMAC

#thatbitchery #tbyfinance

[thatbitchery]

Girl, at this point its embarrassing, get out of your way. Just, slide right off your own path, right? The self sabotage is getting embarrassing.

It has to be at least embarrassing to you having the same goals for five years. Cmon. How can you not be tired of your own crap? How long have you been on this self improvement journey? How much have you actually improved? How many times have you promised yourself this time you will? Isn't it embarrassing how many 'fresh start' s you've had? How can you look at yourself in the mirror though? It's gotta be embarrassing by now. It has to be at that point you can't stand yourself- are you really that shameless? No sense of responsibility? Damn okay we can use mine- I'm so embarrassed of and for you. Lowkey if someone asked me if I know you I'd deny you so fast it would give Judas a whiplash, I kid you not.

Doesnt it hurt you to have that much potential and not use it? It doesn't make you feel sick,knowing how much you're capable of an not doing it? You're really just out here trading your life for ten seconds videos and weird food and fake lives and celeb drama and pretty boys? Really. You're letting people live their dreams by stealing your life through a screen. Come on it has to be embarrassing at some point. It has to be. The girls you went to high school with if they saw you today lol. Your ex thinking he'll yeah man I dodged a bullet. You're telling me you don't feel guilty eating and sleeping knowing you didn't earn it? Another day giving 7 hours to kpop boys and girls and Kylie Jenner and movies and whatever , 7 hours when you could've just idk. Learned a new skill. 7 hours, sis. Are you not disgusted by yourself? Just casually scrolling eating looking like a hobo on steroids garbage in garbage out just another day another slay as a social justice warrior on Facebook saving the world through the power of your words while your world sinks.

I am. I am disgusted by you. It's embarrassing to me that we share Anatomy and gender and exist in the same time space reality. I'm sending this overwhelming embarrassment your way may it trigger your senses back. What are you doing, sis? No really, wyd? What is this behavior? What is this?

Please, get the fuck out of your own way.

BMAC