thatrandompineappleinthecorner

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Preserved Paladins AU:

The Yellow Paladin. Guardian of Earth. His tomb is buried in the deepest valley on a planet of intertwining canyons.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Astaria is curious this #AniMonday

Playing around with how Astaria would hover in place.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

original

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Can i get a comfort fic of MC who's on their monthly and is having a really hard time, and Mammon cares for MC throughout? Im in need of some comfort T^T

Thankieww - artist anon♡

Absolutely! I hope that your time of the month gets a little easier. I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope it's every bit as fun for you to read!

Warnings:

AFAB MC

Detailed and graphic descriptions of menstrual cycle experiences

Gender-Neutral MC

Slightly dramatic beginning, because ✨I live for the drama.✨

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You pause in your step, feeling a very familiar clawing in your gut. You reach out and grasp around, catching Mammon's worried forearm as he realizes you're lagging behind by more than a few steps. His blue-gold eyes look to you with concern as he sees your brow furrow. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?? What's goin' on??" He asks, stopping everything for you.

"A demon is trying to claw its way out of my uterus and it's trying to use my spine as a set of double doors" You gasp the vivid imagery to him and he's instantly concerned. He checks your back, but he's not seeing anything. He reaches to touch it, nervous, and when he does, you can feel the way his fingers gently massage into your lower back. Your shoulders relax to his touch.

"Issit a curse?? Are you dying?? I don't feel anythin' back here." The grip you have on his forearm relaxes as you get used to the cramping. It came on so suddenly. You thought you'd be fine for school, but obviously this just isn't going to work.

".. I need to go back home. Help me..?"

"Don't hafta ask me twice!" He goes to hoist you up and you groan, causing him to realize he needs to be more delicate with your midsection. He instead moves to gently ease you into his arms, your back against his right arm, your knees slung over his left. Your face is resting against his chest as he carries you, more worried for you than anything.

The shame is, today, you guys were the first to actually leave the house. You were going to be on-track to beat even Lucifer to school, but things didn't pan out in your favor.

Which also means, as he's carrying you back, the brothers each spot you two, and you end up collecting a worried entourage as Mammon gets you home.

"Why can't they walk?" Satan is more than a little worried, considering how much he's read on human ailments.

You groan. "Pain."

"Why are they in pain??" Asmodeus pouts, sad that you're having to deal with something so unpleasant.

"Dunno." Mammon doesn't care what the cause is - You asked him to take you home, so that's what he's going to do.

"Are you gonna be okay, ___?" Beelzebub is visibly concerned for you, Belphegor quietly following after the group as he takes note of every answer.

"Yeah. I think. Just. Can't do school. Not today."

Lucifer steps out of the house, locking up, only to turn to see a commotion at the gate. His brothers, not going to school, crowding around you, crumpled in Mammon's arms. ". . ."

Mammon calls out to him "Open the damn door! They gotta get inside!"

Lucifer opens the door, but he does take the lead of the brothers following after Mammon so he can get to the bottom of this problem.

Mammon sets you down on the couch in the main area and you miss the comforting security of his arms as he pulls away- But being able to curl up on your side is making you feel significantly better.

"Was something wrong with breakfast? What's happening?"

"It's my monthly." You tiredly hiss as you soothe yourself, hugging a pillow to your chest.

A few lightbulbs go off in the heads of the demons around you. Some, however, stay dim.

"Monthly what? Monthly bitch? Monthly pest? Monthly pain in the ass that's gonna get fucked up??" Mammon's pretty much ready to fight anything. "You said a demon was tryin'a claw its way outta yer spine, where are they?!"

Satan puts a hand on his shoulder. "Mammon. They're shedding their uterine lining. It's a painful process, but they'll ultimately be okay."

"Is it gonna be this painful the whole time?!" He looks to you, worried.

You've finally gotten a handle on the pain. You slump against the couch, shaking your head tiredly. "No.. But I'm not fit for school.." You look up to Mammon, his concern flooding through you as he worries about you.

"I'll have Levi set you up for distanced learning." Lucifer is already working on contingencies. "Is there anything we can get you to make the day easier?"

".. Can someone stay with me..?" You're shy as you ask. You can take care of yourself, but, it'd really make you feel loved if someone else could help you instead. "… I just.. don't want to be alone.. … And my needs might change throughout the day."

Lucifer can't even give his input when Mammon declares himself as your protector and caretaker for the day. "I'm the one you put in charge of 'em, ain't I?!" He almost looks like he's ready to fight Lucifer if he's about to say anything in protest. Lucifer exhales with a soft smile. He loves seeing how soft you've made his family.

"Alright. Everyone else; To school. Mammon will take care of ___ from here."

"Take care~" Asmodeus leans over the back of the couch, tugging you into a hug, giving you a gentle squeeze. "Mammon's lucky, getting to share all day with you ~"

Satan yoinks Asmodeus away from you, handing you your D.D.D, which fell earlier. "Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it."

"Or to use the HoL Akuzon account to get yourself the things you need for your monthly." Lucifer adds, giving you a nod of his approval.

Belphegor scowls at Mammon. "Do you even know how to take care of a human on their period?"

"I know how to kick yer ass, how's that?"

Mammon shoots him a scowl in return and Belphegor motions to his D.D.D as he looks past Mammon to you. "Seriously, don't hesitate to ask for help. Don't cover for this dumbass if he fucks something up."

You gently grasp the back of Mammon's shirt, preventing him from getting angry at Belphegor as he softens to your touch. "I'll be okay. Mammon's a good caretaker."

Mammon's face heats up as he looks away from you at his brothers. "That's right!! ___'s number one! No one's gonna be a better caretaker!"

You chuckle softly, which causes his heart to pitter away in his chest. When his brothers have left, he kneels beside your couch, holding your hand. He softly grips your hand, giving it a squeeze, flustered. You speak softly; "Thank you for helping me. Can you get a bath run for me? A hot bath always makes my cramps better. 100°-105° fahrenheit." You always have to specify specific temperatures, otherwise most of the demon brothers will accidentally almost boil you alive.

Mammon nods, gently caressing your head with his free hand. He was so worried earlier. Seeing you crumple against him made him glad he was able to be there for you, but it didn't make it any less scary.. He catches himself looking to you tenderly and gets flustered, quickly escaping to the nearest bathroom to prepare it for you.

He's no Barbatos or Asmodeus when it comes to setting up baths, but he does bring you a robe and a towel when he comes to get you. As you walk together, he explains what he did. "I stole some of Asmo's bath salts - There was a basket in his room with yer name on it, I just assumed it was stuff he set aside for ya'. Also I took a bubble bath from that basket too. I didn't wanna overwhelm ya' in case scents nausiate ya', so I didn't go addin' any of those bath melts or bath bombs?? But I put some on the counter if y'want them. There's also a bucket beside the bathtub if y'need to hurl."

"Scents nausiating me? Needing to hurl?" You're confused. What does he think you're going through?

"Yeah, don't humans on their monthly get super sensitive to foods and cravings, and have pain and sometimes puke?"

".. While there is some overlap, I think you're mistaking this for pregnancy. I'm not pregnant, Mammon."

"…" Mammon digests this new information. "What exactly's gonna happen to you?"

"Well, I'm going to have cravings, I sometimes get some intense emotions, and I experience pain. I get bloating, my body feels gross, everything's going to feel gross, and I'm going to be knocked on my ass with fatigue. That's all pretty normal considering I have an open internal wound right now."

"WAIT WHAT" Mammon's shocked. That's what a monthly is? An open wound internally every month?!

You can't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, my body has an organ that just rips its own inner lining out once a month. It's kind of like if your colon shed its inner skin once a month."

"WHAT THE FUCK" Mammon's visibly upset at the sheer idea, and his asshole clenches at the thought. He couldn't imagine that kind of pain, let alone every single month. He will not be getting over this any time soon.

You're looking around as he's grappling with the mortifying ordeal of having a uterus, and you ask "Mammon, did you bring any tampons for this bath? Or a menstrual cup or something?"

"Huh?"

"To soak up or catch the blood"

"WHAT"

"Yeah, the blood comes out. I don't want to be soaking in it in the bath."

Mammon shakes his head. Okay, so there's a lot more to this than he realized - But that doesn't mean you have to hold his hand through this. He's going to be the best protector/caretaker you ever had. "Okay, where do I find 'em?"

"I keep a drawer of them in my bathroom upstairs. The tampons are these little insertion type things in plastic wrapping, and the cup is in a box labeled appropriately."

"Got it."

He rushes upstairs and comes down to bring you the entire damn drawer and its contents. When you laugh, he feels embarrassed, but in a good way. It made you smile. You shoo him out of the bathroom so you can take a long soak and get the muscles in your lower back to stop spasming.

As you do, Mammon asks from outside the door "Hey, is there anythin' you're craving right now?"

"Oh man, that super greasy food from Hell's Burger sounds amazing.. but the sweetbread from Madame Scream's sounds really good too.. And Godevil Chocolatier's fudge? Mmm.. Oh, and that thing you made for dinner last week was amazing, but I don't think we have anymore leftovers.." You list off all the foods that sound good to you, that you can feel your body craving. "Mmm.. I can't choose. Anything I've listed would be awesome."

"Gotcha." Mammon heads off, leaving you to soak in your tub in peace.

Beside the tub, you see your favorite cold drink that Mammon forgot to tell you he grabbed for you. Popping it open, you rest back against the back of the tub, letting your body soak in the heat and the comfort. Mammon's very good at complimenting scents - He wears enough colognes and body products to know how to use products that compliment each other and don't overwhelm the person. Even as he was scrambling to figure everything out on the fly, he was focused enough to get the important details right.

You had a good choice of bath additives, and you were able to add whatever you wanted to the bath which made it comfy and soothing, but also fun and an experience. You almost forget about your situation as you get out of the tub and apply your moisturizers, then don your robe, putting on some slippers. The robe is fluffy and comfy and fits you perfectly. Asmodeus got it for you because it reminded him of when you were in your sheep form. You're hungry, so when you step out of the bathroom and smell some amazing food down the hall, you almost miss the pjs and underwear he left sitting, neatly folded on a small stepstool in the hall for you. You grab them, put them on, and then meander into the kitchen to find Mammon cooking the food he made last week for dinner. …. Surrounded by bags from various restaurants and stores of every other thing you rattled off the top of your head.

Mammon grins to you as you enter. "Eat up! You can have whatever you like! An' anything you don't wanna eat now, we can save for later. An' if you don't want it later, we'll let Beelzebub eat it."

You're a little overwhelmed at his generosity and kindness, shyly unwrapping some of the greasier food as he cooks and you sit at the kitchen island. "… thank you." Your voice is quiet. Mammon grins even bigger as he sets another of your favorite drinks that he knows goes well with the food you're eating in front of you.

"You'll never want for a thing while I'm around. You got that?"

You nod, smiling warmly to him as you rest against the counter. The way you look at him so warmly gets him flustered, so he turns away.

"… I was, uh, readin' up on these monthly things. I read massages are good for them?"

"Yeah, they can be. My body's feeling okay right now, I just wanna lay down and be cuddled for a while though.."

"Well I can do that too!" He quickly adds, as though you were going to go upstairs and ask Levi to snuggle with you instead or something. When he's done cooking, you grab a plate of the food he cooked, some fries from Hell's Burger, some chocolates, and two of your favorite drinks, and you head into the living room with him. Here, you find that he has a whole collection of blankets and pillows for you, which you quickly make a nest in with Mammon as the center. He hugs you as you rest atop him, the both of you laying on the couch as you watch tv and you snack on anything you crave in the moment.

Any moment that you shift to get up, or you want something, Mammon's quick to take it on his shoulders if he can instead, each moment just loving on you through his attentive service. But, you don't end up needing much because he's already met every need. His hands massage into your back as he holds you, and you hug him close, your head resting on his chest. You're buried in a mound of comfy blankets in the cool HoL air. It's warm, and Mammon's your key source of heat, enveloping you in comfort as he wouldn't let you go for anything.

It's easy for you to fall asleep in his arms like this.

You wake up a few hours later, and he's still awake, just gently caressing your back, affectionately looking to you. When he realizes you're awake again though, he quickly looks away in embarrassment. ".. mornin'."

".. Mornin'." You smile against him, stretching out against him, and then hugging him close. ".. thank you. I feel a lot better than I did this morning."

"Well of course y'do. Yer first and best man ain't about to let you down."

"I knew you wouldn't." You can feel the way his skin warms against yours with your praise. He hugs you close. The way you trust in him, and the way you come to him when you need someone, it never fails to make him feel proud of himself.

You never fail to make him feel on top of the world. He wonders if you realize just how wonderful you are to him, and how much you mean to him. Looking at you like this, he almost wants to say something and tell you exactly how he feels, but the sound of Levi entering the room causes him to chicken out. Levi brings in a laptop set up for you to do distanced learning, so you can catch up on the classes you missed today, as well as attend the remaining ones on your roster. Mammon almost sighs at just how bad Levi's timing is as you start to sit up.

Maybe for now, this moment here is good enough with you.

After all, it means the absolute world to him.

Even as you do your learning, Mammon hugs you from behind, resting his head anywhere from the top of your head to your shoulder, depending on how much you sink down.

He's here beside you every step of the way, until you tell him otherwise.

You did, after all, choose him to ask for help. And Mammon will never let you down if he can help it.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

MC: "I'm a god!"

Lucifer: "You yelled 'shut up' at a thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate, it's a coincidence. You have no power."

Mammon: "Shut it, they're a god."

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

MC wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom while having a sleepover at HOL.

They're so sleepy they don't know they are in the past, and they go to Lucifer's room.

Lucifer, waking up like a lightning: What are you doing in my bed?!

MC: Shut..up... n' cuddle me....

Lucifer, who was too stunned to speak cuddled them all night with his eyes wide opened, not knowing what the hell is going on.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Overprotective (Part 1)

Based off of this post It all came to a head with The Incident™.

You were frustrated, having just left Levi's room. You'd brought him a series that you thought he'd love, it was much more like some of the stuff he used to be into, which had heartbreak and drama, but you'd heard it had a good resolution, even if it was sad. But the second things started turning sour emotionally, he began to panic. And when he asked if you knew what would happen, and you said "I've heard about the ending, but I saved actually knowing it for you", you didn't expect what he did next. He stopped the show and took the DVD out. This started a long fight that you barely understood. Him being upset that you weren't 'taking care of yourself', and you being upset that he was trying to micro-manage what you watched! You even jabbed at him telling him that "Avoiding the sad stuff isn't healthy!" which only made him more upset. You didn't understand why, so you just left. You ran into Asmodeus, who started worrying about the stress you were visibly under. Stress isn't good for one's health. He first asked if you wanted to take a soothing bath with him, which you shrugged off, thinking that would be the end of it. But it wasn't. He kept badgering you to let him help you destress. It started very flirty at first... Until it became desperate. You continued to decline, and he became more worried, which caught Satan's attention. When Satan heard you were stressed out, several stress-related illnesses flashed through his memory and he became very serious trying to give you other options. If anything, their insistence on controlling another aspect of your life was making it worse. You were on the verge of exploding when Belphegor came around. You called out to him, but he turned right around and walked away. You frustratedly chased after him, but when you turned the corner he disappeared behind, he was gone. Instead, you found Mammon. With the shadiest bag of vitamins you've ever seen. No label, just some random supplement in a plastic bag. "You want some vitamins?" The sight would have made you laugh a week ago, but right now, it was just frustrating. "No! I want everyone to stop badgering me! And for Belphegor to stop AVOIDING me!" "Sounds like you could eat. Lemme cook you up something." Mammon was the one who was the best at reaching out. He'd been slyly learning how to cook on the side, so he could get more veggies and fruits into your diet. And the food he's learned to cook was really yummy. Begrudgingly, you accept, and he takes you to the kitchen, also giving Asmo and Satan a covert thumbs up. The two let him take care of you, seeing that your stress instantly began to melt at the idea of food. That is.. Until you got to the kitchen. Mammon begins pulling out veggies and fruit to make you a few dishes, but Beelzebub keeps hovering around to try to control your portions. No matter how much you told him it was insulting, he just couldn't bring himself to stop worrying. Mammon always makes you too much food, seeing as how he keeps trying to pack in the nutrients like they're going to culminate in prolonging your life indefinitely. Once again, you're pissed, and this time with new vigor. You finally storm out of the kitchen and out of the house, only to see Lucifer coming in from the walkway. And he's blinded by how dangerous it is for you to walk around Devildom alone. He tells you as much and you just shout "WELL I HOPE I DIE THEN, BECAUSE IT'D BE BETTER THAN THIS HELLSCAPE" while trying to brush past him in frustration. You didn't even mean the words, but no one had been listening to you and no one was giving you a chance to control anything in your life without supervision. They've been so controlling and so accidentally belittling, making you feel less-than, making you feel like a child in a house without love. Part 2

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Belphegor, The Human Expert

I dunno, I just love the idea of Belphegor, who so loved humans deeply once upon a time, being the best equipped/most knowledgeable about the differences between humans and demons. Something about the asshole begrudgingly stepping up to the plate to help MC because he’s like “Holy shit my brothers are so dumb with this stuff- Asmo didn’t know 400° Fahrenheit would literally kill you??” and he just, is quietly shocked at how much MC survived before he came along. Gimme a Belphegor who softly attempts to make up for his past mistakes by taking his place as the one MC can always rely on to never accidentally kill them. A Belphegor who openly gripes at his brothers for being so blind to human cultures and basic human needs/experiences when it’s obvious that they’re stressing MC out or causing MC unnecessary grief that could have been avoided by them just learning about humans in the first place. Gimme a Belphegor who takes the time to learn about MC and where they’ve come from, who has a deep and passionate love for learning how they came to learn about the world, because he still genuinely loves humans under all his complicated emotions. Gimme a Belphegor who’s well-written to his backstory in a way that helps him make amends in a way that definitely sets him apart from his brothers

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

aaah i can't wait to read some angst stuff from you :D this one immediately spoke to me and i hope it does the same for you so if i may request: “It was — it was supposed to end differently! It was — supposed to — no!” with barbatos please 🥰 i don't mind if it's sfw or nsfw! thank you :3

Sonde’s Sunday Snippets I-IV

Diavolo often finds himself wishing that Barbatos would show more emotion. 

It’s only at rare times like now, when his beloved butler drops the frigid facade of indifference, that Diavolo remembers why he commanded Barbatos to learn how to control his emotions in the first place.

Because for all the emotions that the Avatars of Sin personify, none of them can hold a candle to Barbatos when he finally lets the mask fall.

“Let go,” Barbatos hisses, his nails digging into Diavolo’s skin and drawing blood while his tail continues to viciously whip at the prince’s body, each hit making Diavolo wince in pain.

“No,” The prince responds, using magic to strengthen his grip on the butler’s arms, just barely holding Barbatos back from truly lashing out and destroying everything in his wake. “You cannot interfere with fate.”

“This isn’t fate!” Barbatos seethes, his tail striking Diavolo in the tender spot between his wings. “The human is my soulmate, not Lucifer’s! You swore to me that you would let me have them—you swore!”

“The human has chosen Lucifer,” Diavolo responds through gritted teeth, feeling his magic falter as Barbatos continues to attempt to escape. The prince tugs the butler backward, just barely stopping him from crashing through the glass which oversees the sight of you and Lucifer on your first date, and Diavolo is abruptly thankful that this windowpane is on the third floor of the castle, beyond any prying eyes which might see Barbatos in this state. “And we must honor their decision.”

“No!” The butler roars, his body lighting up with magic, the turquoise fringe spreading to his entire head as his body slips into its true form in an attempt to battle Diavolo away, to stop Lucifer from courting you when Barbatos knows that the Avatar of Pride was never meant to be your suitor.

Diavolo just holds on tighter. 

“It wasn’t—this isn’t supposed to happen! This isn’t what the timeline held!” 

The prince feels his heart go out to his friend at the raw anguish in his voice. 

“Barbatos,” The prince whispers, tightening his grip around his friend. He fights through the pain he feels, the way Barbatos’s magic burns his skin as he hangs on tighter, but Diavolo forces himself to do this. 

He knows that Barbatos isolated himself from physical contact in hopes that you would be the first to break it after so many millennia, but the butler needs comfort.

And based on the shy smile you’re giving Lucifer right now, Diavolo knows that the comfort won’t be coming from you.

The hug Diavolo gives Barbatos is pitiful, a mockery of what a true embrace would feel like given that its purpose is still to restrain the butler, to prevent him from breaking the window that separates him from you. 

But Diavolo can feel Barbatos’s heart as it writhes in agony, his wrath twisting into desperation. 

“No, my lord, stop!” The butler pleads, reaching an arm out. “They—this isn’t supposed to happen—I have to stop this! It was—it was supposed to end differently! It was supposed to—no!”

Barbatos howls when he sees Lucifer intertwine his fingers with yours. 

Diavolo’s eyes widen the second he sees his right-hand man place a hand on your cheek, a flood of curses running through the prince’s mind as he realizes what is about to happen.

No, he thinks, realizing that he needs to pull Barbatos away from this window as soon as possible and no Barbatos cannot see this and no, if Barbatos sees this then he will break, and—

“Lucifer won’t love them right,” Barbatos gasps, not even realizing that the gap between your faces is closing, that your lips are growing nearer. “I’ll love them so much more—Lucifer won’t make them happy enough—“

Diavolo uses the last of his strength to pull Barbatos away, desperately trying to stop his friend from seeing what will doubtlessly crush his heart more than anything else, and—

He is too late.

Lucifer’s hand finds the back of your head and your lips meet, all the resistance flooding out of Barbatos’s body when he realizes what is happening. 

What you’re allowing to happen.

What you even seem to want.

Barbatos’s wails of agony stop instantly, the butler making no sounds even as Diavolo finally pulls him away from the window, away from the sight of the one person Barbatos has been waiting to love all these centuries finding happiness in the arms of another man.

Abruptly, it is silent.

Barbatos’s mouth moves but no words come out, his eyes still frozen in shock of what had happened—and the hum of magic fades to nothing, the room finally calm and quiet once more.

But Diavolo swears he can hear the sound of Barbatos’s heart breaking.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

A typical day at Devildom. (It's not my job)

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Luke and Mc, by some strange alignment of planets, are having a disagreement.

Luke: You can't tell me what to do!!!!

Mc: I have more experience than you!

Luke: ???? I'm thousands of years older!

Mc: But you are a child!!!!

Luke: I'm older than you!!!

Mc: But I am human!!!! I matured sooner!!! I'll die before you stop being a child!!!!

Luke: …

Mc: …

Luke: *starting to tear up* …

Mc: Oh..

Luke: *crying* Don't say that!!!! *hugging them tightly* don't say that...

Mc: *giving him back his hug* Luke… I'm sorry...

Luke: I'm sorry too…

Mc: *caressing his back*

Luke: Did you mean it? About you dying before I'm an adult?

Mc: Well.. That would be the normal thing to do, wouldn't it? You said it yourself…

Luke: Yeah... But-

Mc: But taking into account my situation with demons, angels and my master, who happens to be an immortal human…

Luke: ...

Mc: Who knows? Maybe they'll sneak something in my food to make me immortal too….

Luke: I hope they do…

.

.

There is a scene in the original game where Luke talks about Mv having to die to visit the Celestial realm in a way that makes it seem, to me, that Luke has pretty much assumed Mc's mortality. But since it's season 1 (I think) I would like to think that as they get closer Luke is getting more and more afraid of Mc's death, because he doesn't know what will become of them, if they will go to the celestial realm, the Devildom, if they will be reborn, or if any of those things happen, will thry remember him or if they will be able to be together. Besides, we all know that when we fight we feel things more so….

.

.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

So.... I'm on one tonight with the Obey Me headcanons, but brain won't shut up so you all get to deal with it (also i haven't finished the OG game yet, so take pity if this somehow doesn't align with canon that I'm not caught up on yet...)

BUT.... are we all just assuming that RAD is like a regular 4-year education plan/institution?

How very human of us, silly little mortals that we are.

What if it's not? What if RAD attendance is like... 100 years? 1000 years? (chump change for demons and angels)

Just MC stuck going to school for the rest of their human life... after all, there's SO MUCH knowledge, there's no way they'll be able to scrape even a fraction it in 40 years, let alone 4.

No wonder Mammon is always wanting to avoid school work and Belphie is always skipping classes to sleep in...

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Silly little Obey Me Headcanons

Their nails just do that.

Satan wasn't allowed to have a DDD right away due to bad behavior. Naughty demons who strangle their brothers and make death threats don't get phones

Because of that, Satan isn't tech savvy yet. He's nowhere near Simeon's level, but you know how his pfp is this?

I think either Lucifer or Asmo did that and told Satan his phone won't recognize him if he tries to change it and he believed it. No way Satan picked such a flustered pic himself. It makes him sooo mad every time he sees it.

The word "prank" is poor translation of an elusive term that doesn't really have a human realm equivalent, but more closely translates to something like "pipe bomb" or "bone implosion." So when they say the Anti-Lucifer League say they "pranked Lucifer" by casting a spell to make his socks never match, what that actually means is they cast Spell of Pipe Bomb to one of Lucifer's socks.

Simeon has seen every movie on the disturbing movie iceberg list and he loved them. He saw Terrifier 2 opening day. He was laughed his beautiful laugh the whole way through.

Heaven and Hell as post-death human repositories exist but they're considered "the sketchy side of town" in both realms, overseen by lesser angels/demons. You never find out what either is like because everyone you hang out with is of such high prestige.

Lilith is in heaven, but Human heaven is so below the brothers' radar, it literally never crossed their mind they might be able to see her again.

Luke will become the revolutionary force of heaven. One day Luke will cast out Michael the way he once cast out Lilith. That's far, far in the future though.

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

heyoo! could I have 24 with beelzebub pls? it can be sfw or nsfw i don't mind either! thank you ♡

Thank you for your request! Here is the quick drabble using the prompt, I hope you like it! 🧡

How long were you standing there? 𓏲๋࣭࣪˖

Gender-Neutral MC༘ ⋆｡˚

MC woke up in the dead of night, their stomach growling with hunger, their throat as dry as a desert. Unable to resist the call of their rumbling belly, they tiptoed their way to the kitchen, craving a late-night snack, praying no one would find out. 

--

Beelzebub, the avatar of gluttony, was lurking in the shadows, his keen senses alert to any movement in the kitchen, his eyes glowing violet as he follows every movement of the human quietly, like a predator.

MC found themselves in the kitchen, engulfed in darkness save for the faint glow emanating from the furnace where a colossal cauldron rested atop it. The room was eerily quiet, the only sound being the gentle hum of the refrigerator and the occasional creak of the old floorboards underfoot. The house of lamentation could be very spooky at night.

As they rummaged through the fridge, their eyes fell upon a tempting sight—a freshly baked cake, its aroma wafting through the air, promising sweet indulgence. Without hesitation, they reached for a slice, their mouth watering in anticipation.

Little did they know, Beelzebub had been watching them from the dark corner of the room, his eyes fixed on the coveted cake. His stomach grumbled as he observed MC indulging in his favorite treat. The sound was very loud, almost like a thunder, making the human shiver and squeak in fear. “What are you eating?” He interrupts them.

“H-how long were you standing there?” They pause, gulping, their heart racing as they faced the unexpected intruder. “I was just getting a piece of this cake… Sorry, is it yours?”

Beelzebub's gaze remained fixed on the dessert, his mouth watering with anticipation. “No, uh… We can share, of course,” he replied, though the notion of sharing his beloved food was a struggle. They knew how difficult it was for the avatar of gluttony to share his food, but even then, the two started eating together. “Thank you, Beel, you are so sweet!” “Now, give me a bite.” He comes closer, wrapping one arm possessively around MC's waist as he awaited his share.

With a soft smile, MC complied, offering a piece of the cake directly to Beelzebub's waiting mouth. They felt his fingers tighten slightly around them as he savored, showing off his affection toward the human despite being caught stealing his food.

Drabble prompts you can use in your requests!

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

[thatrandompineappleinthecorner]

Satan would love goodreads.

He sees you one day, reviewing a book on your phone in the living room of HOL. He stands behind where you're sitting on the couch, peering over your shoulder, watching your finger press the four stars on the book you just read.

“What’s that?” he asks. You look back and smile at him, showing him your D.D.D. He leans down curiously, resting his hands on the back of the sofa while reading the words on your screen.

“It’s an app where I can rate the books I read,” you say. He reaches for your phone and looks at you for approval which you give with a nod.

He scrolls the app, checking the books you’ve read. “Isn’t it smart? You can give the books start and write reviews and then you can look back on what you’ve read!” you exclaim, gesturing excitedly with your hands. Satan's gaze flickers from his phone to you and a light blush grazes his cheeks when he catches your excitement over books. “Yeah, that’s pretty cool,” he says, giving you back your phone while clearing his throat.

Now, Satan doesn’t really think he needs Goodreads. Demons have an excellent memory and most of the books on the app are human books, so he’d have to write in Devildom books manually, but he figures it wouldn’t be all that bad to download the app just so he can see your reviews. Plus, he does read a lot of books…

And boy, does he write the most scalding reviews. Everytime you see him rate a new book, you get genuinely concerned for the authors well being if Satan didn’t like the book.

I have lived for thousands of years and will live for thousands more and yet I wish I could regain the six hours I wasted on this horrible book.

I would rather spend a decade chained to Lucifer himself than read this horrible pile of shite again.

The plot was bland as fuck and the language barely did anything to make up for it, what a sad excuse for literature.

You come to look forward to these reviews, giggling whenever he gets particularly brutal. It’s a side of him you hardly ever see.

One day you recommend him a bad book on purpose, just to see what he’ll do. It’s quite easy to blind side him because Satan hardly ever checks on what’s new in the human literature world.

When you get to notification that he’s read it, you immediately press it, excited to see what he’s said, only to find the review relatively… tame?

Your brows furrow as you read the half-assed text, complimenting the plot twist at the end. “Didn’t see it coming.” It reads and you shake your head. That plot twist had been some of the absolute worst you’ve ever read. You’d been excited to see Satan tear it apart and call on the lazy ending.

You recommend him another book that you’re sure he’ll hate. Once again, the review is fine. Even the small following Satan has gained on the app seems confused.

This book is fucking horrible, why did he give it three stars?

Yeah, I followed him for his brutally honest reviews, but this is just weird.

You recommend him a bad book for the third time, just for good measure. “There’s no way he’ll be able to pretend to like this one,” you think as you innocently bat your eyes lashes at him and give him the book. Satan hesitates for a bit, looking down at the book. Then he sends you a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, I’ll give it a go.”

You’re lying in bed when Satan barges into your room. “Satan, what are you-“ he plops the book down in front of you on the bed and crosses his arms. “Are you doing this on purpose?” A smile tugs at your lips before you think better of it and quickly fake a confused expression.

“What? I would never!” you say and he rolls his eyes and begin pacing your room. His fists are rolled into tight balls, knuckles turning white. He’s kind of hot like this you realize.

“Did you not like the book?” you ask and he stops pacing to just stare at you for a few seconds. “Are you serious? It made me want to rip my fucking eyes out!” he shouts and you giggle.

Satan feels like he’s going insane. Are you toying with him or something?

“What’s going on?” he asks and you shrug, sending him a mischievous smile. “I didn’t mean to tease you…” you say. “I just liked your reviews on bad books, so I thought I’d recommend you a bad book on purpose,” you begin to explain. Satan's mouth slightly opens and his brows raise at you.

“But then your reviews were so nice all of a sudden so I just kept recommending-“ You’re interrupted by Satan's manic laughter. He’s glaring at the ceiling, looking kind of insane in all honesty and you begin to wonder if you’ve maybe pushed him a bit too far this time.

You wrap your arms around your knees as your bed creaks with Satan's weight as he sits down next to you. “Are you even aware of how much I had to hold back-“ Satan grumbles, while he draws closer to you. His brows are pinched and his eyes are flashing green.

“Wait what?” you interrupt. “You held back because you didn’t want to upset me?”

“No!” Satan huffs and scratches his head. “I mean I thought you liked those books,” he says and pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut, while letting out a long breath.

“Oh, you big softie!” You chuckle as realisation dawns upon you.

“I am not a softie!” Satan's eyes snap open again. “You so are!” You squeal when Satan is on you, so you’re pressed against the bed, trapped between Satan's hands on either side of your head. Much to your surprise he begins tickling you. “Satan, no!” you yelp and try to get away from him, with no prevail.

“Take your punishment, human!” The demon howls. You’re gasping for air, lightly slapping his chest, in a fit of laughter. The side of Satan’s mouth quirks up. “This is the next best thing to eating you!”