thatweirdo-withapen

[thatweirdo-withapen]

One of my favorite things is modern adaptations that leave people with the same careers they had in the original material, because unless you’re a cop or a doctor that practically never happens.

Irene Adler’s an opera singer. We still have those! They don’t have the same subtext exactly, but nothing is going to because we aren’t the Victorians. She could continue to be an opera singer. I have never seen this happen.

Jonathan Harker can still be in real estate. That’s a job people have. A modern story that still involves Dracula contacting his firm to help him purchase property sounds amazing actually.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

req’d by @fabulousvelociraptor

is this a goof on how blue eyes don’t show up well on old timey photos so everyone ends up looking vaguely possessed

[thatweirdo-withapen]

Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”

and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”

”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”

”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”

[thatweirdo-withapen]

bad writing advice: you should not EVER NEVER do this thing

good writing advice: everyone’s style is different. there’s no rules set in stone about how to be a good writer. develop your own style and run far with it. it doesn’t have to be perfect. there’s thousands of people out there searching for something new and unique. no matter what, someone out there will always read and be interested in your work. you can become someone’s favorite author by just being yourself.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

I feel like there needs to be an author alignment chart

Chaotic Evil is writing on your phone in the dark with no glasses on (me)

[thatweirdo-withapen]

She yawned as she trudged back into bed, giving a gentle pat to the two cats, the dog, and the Creature. Laying in bed, her eyes snapped open. She hadn’t seen the Creature in six months.

Context is everything. Each little tidbit could mean a hundred different things depending on what you do with it. Have fun!

[thatweirdo-withapen]

Prompt List

I find it easier to make prompt lists so I can write with what I’m inspired by. I’ll probably add to this as I find new prompts I like.

I took these from several prompt lists that I’ve reblogged, so that’s why they may look familiar. 

ANGST

“I can’t do anything right.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

FLUFF

“Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?” 

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Noo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“OH you’re jealous!”

“Can we stay like this forever?”

“Please just kiss me already.”

“I think you might be my soulmate.”

“Sleep over? Please?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I wish we could live together already.”

“They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”

“You take my breath away,” “…” “y’know, like the song haha”

RANDOM

“Quit touching me, your feet are cold!”

“Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

“Did you seriously just get your foot stuck in a toilet?” “Maybe.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

“But I’ve never told you that before.” 

“Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

“Can you please…? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe put a shirt on?!”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

“You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.”

12.    “Give me attention.”

13.       “YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

14.       “Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”

15.         “I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

16.          “You met me yesterday,” “Yes, and I would die for you. Next question,”

17.          “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”

18.         “Well, that’s tragic.”

19.         “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

20.         “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”

21.         “What do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me last week!” “Sounds like a you problem.”

22.         “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

23.         “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”

24.         “Did you just hiss at me?”

25.         “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

26.         “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

27.         “No. Regrets.”

28.         “How drunk was I?”

29.         “How is my wife more badass than me?”

30.         “It’s your turn to make dinner.”

31.         “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”

32.         “I could punch you right now.”

33.         “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

34.         “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”

35.         “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

36.         “That was kind of hot.”

SITUATION PROMPTS: 

KISSES

“Good morning” kiss

Kiss on the forehead 

Kiss on the nose 

Kiss on the neck

Kiss on the back 

Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys

Exhausted parents kiss 

Hiding/hoping not to be caught kiss

Before Bed kiss

In Secret kiss

Public kiss

Against a wall kiss

When One Person’s Face Is Scrunched Up, And The Other One Kisses Their     Lips/Nose/Forehead 

Lazy Morning Kisses Before They’ve Even Opened Their Eyes, Still Mumbling     Half-Incoherently, Not Wanting To Wake Up

Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek/Forehead For The     Hello/Goodbye Kiss Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing

Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently     Doing 

Top Of Head Kisses

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You are a hero who has selflessly protected your society for ten years. People live in peace and crime is a thing of the past, there are no villains to oppose you anymore nor other heroes to help you. Finally you have tired of this peace, and in search of change you decide to destroy society completely. Now you must face off against new wannabe heroes to complete your self-appointed mission. You have become the greatest villain ever known to the world out of sheer boredom.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You and your friend(s) are demons who are quite successful at your work, being responsible for many dreadful plagues and economic crises among others over the last centuries.

The problem is: You’ll never get any credit since all of your hard work goes to your better-known co-workers (mostly Satan) due to the lack of existing knowledge about demons, making you literal underdogs. One day, you finally snap and decide to drastically change the status quo.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You awaken after death on a blank white plain, stretching out for miles. “This is your world,” a voice whispers in your ear. “Build it however you wish.”

[thatweirdo-withapen]

As a Demon, you’re quite familiar with would-be mages making errors in materials due to translation errors. However, today marks the first time that someone has attempted to summon you with Cruelty-Free Vegan Blood Substitute™.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

The Good, The Bad, and The Abused

http://writer.inklestudios.com/stories/6vwm

A choose your own adventure story about superheroes, a serial killer, and a roommate.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

All the tropes are infront of you. Every day for the past week you’ve been seeing the new girl walking around town. Always singing to animals and followed by a sidekick pet. Her boyfriend even being described as “Prince Charming” by various people in town.

Quickly the songs grow irritating, there are animals everywhere, and her bubbly optimism wears down your patience. You recognize that this has become a fairytale, and you’re likely the villain.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

When you get kidnapped, it’s up to the monster in your closet, your assigned demon, and the FBI guy in charge of watching your phone to rescue you. 

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You’re convinced that your house is being haunted, so you set up cameras all around the place to prove it. After reviewing the footage, you find that there’s not one, but TWO spirits in your house… And they happen to be lovers…

…And you just accidentally filmed them having sex.

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You rub a genies vase and out comes a very attractive genie. “What is your first wish?” the genie asks, bored.

“I want you to be my sugar daddy”

“Your wish is gr- Wait, what?”

[thatweirdo-withapen]

You’re brought before a council of Fairies, and Yokai, Elves. Your grandfathers from both sides of your family owe them all a dept and want you to pay it off. Tiny problem, you don’t know either of them. One of them doesn’t even know your name. The other doesn’t even know you exist.