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dimple says cyberbullying is okay and in fact encouraged

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well, when in loam 🪱

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me when i fucking GET you

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Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

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hoffman's car

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this is actually so funny jackbox said go get jokes

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i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

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researching parrying daggers as a fun little treat and i'm delighted by how much every single one of these things looks like it's designed to be as annoying as possible

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Don't be a square! Tiger Tuesday is here!

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random 2000s lesbians on abandoned 16 year old flickr account you mean absolutely fucking everything to me

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Commission of Tatl for Phoebe's sibling.

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i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

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a work in progress! 

I’ve been wanting to draw the pigeons in my neighbourhood for a while. the colours of their flock have shifted a bit over the years - a ton used to have pure white heads, probably due to an escaped purebred who sired a bunch of kids but now I’m seeing less of those, and more white flight feathers.