the-kazoo-kid

[the-kazoo-kid]

Somehow from two different bookstores in two different states I have acquired two books that belonged to the same person..

If you're out there John Larrabee, hmu and we can talk about Tom Paine. Also I have your boarding pass from 2014 that you were taking notes on.

[the-kazoo-kid]

nobuddy feels like they have a sharp attention span these days, right? and we all just click “agree on terms of service” because its hard to love yourself sometimes, well

enter Terms of Service, Didn’t Read: a website and a browser addon that streamlines the terms of service of many popular web services to be read by the tech sunday drivers.

It’s graded from A (great) to E (awful) and if you have the addon you have access to the info about the website on your bar

[the-kazoo-kid]

I’m in love with this gif. The way the cat is tucked in and kneads the air. How they immediately reaches for the teddy bear. How it’s lodged into the cat lovingly. The way the cat holds it. The face. The face the cat makes squished up against the toy. The way the cat grips it. The cat looking back on the audience at the end. I could stare at this gif for an hour straight and still be enraptured by it. Fucking Cozy.gif

[the-kazoo-kid]

:(

[the-kazoo-kid]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[the-kazoo-kid]

I’m having a spirited debate and need a larger sample size

[the-kazoo-kid]

When absolutely 0 of Biden’s accomplishments have made any kind of news, and we’ve been fed a steady diet of fear and panic for 3 years, no one gets to be shocked when he loses the next election to Donald 2.0.

Posting anything positive about the president here will get you called a capitalist bootlicker.

What do we expect to happen?

Anger sells better. Anger feels better, it feels righteous.

It’s easier to protest against a president you don’t like then to actually remain in charge and keep pushing ahead, even if small, consistent accomplishments are all you receive.

[the-kazoo-kid]

gonna be a big one under the cut

[the-kazoo-kid]

playing a new game where i talk about fandom using words that belong on corporate powerpoint slides like:

✨ we have to align our headcanons to authentically reflect our strategic mission and meet quarterly margin objectives ✨

sorry to everyone who understood that

[the-kazoo-kid]

“Feather” is the equivalent of “paw” btw

[the-kazoo-kid]

[the-kazoo-kid]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[the-kazoo-kid]

coming for you

[the-kazoo-kid]

not fair that the cuntiest woman in this world is a muppet (ms. piggy)

[the-kazoo-kid]

The idea of dragons in modern times is so fun because imagine a hot summer day on your vacay and go to use the hotel pool and staff is like "valued guests we regret to inform you that the pool area is out of service at the moment, we apologize for the inconvenience"

And people like "wtf why" looking out their hotel room window and there's this. This dragon just curled up in the pool chilling, literally, cooling itself down

Some of the staff are trying to gently shoo him away and the dragon does a soft little "rrrrrr" like a grumpy cat and a warning puff of smoke and they're like "fuck it i don't get paid nearly enough for this" and no ones using the pool today sorry!

[the-kazoo-kid]

[the-kazoo-kid]

So Fox News ran a story about how they think libraries are turning into drug-infested sex dens and I am shocked, shocked that I was never offered any drugs during my 15+ years working in libraries.