the-learning-bri

[the-learning-bri]

I love the smell of wood being cut.

[the-learning-bri]

The door people are installing the front door.

They’re all white. Marylanders.

One guy starts singing 

“Ooh Ah Ooh Ah That’s the sound of the men working on the chain gaaanggg”

Other Guy whispers: “Shh”

“Did you say shh?”

Whispers even quieter “Yeah that songs racist”

“No it’s not”

“Yeah it is”

“Man that songs about railroads”

He respectably only sang the ooh ah part once after that.

Genuinely funny interaction to hear. I don’t know if I would say the song is racist, but I also don’t think I’m comfortable with a white man singing it due to context. I wasn’t offended in any way, nor uncomfortable at the moment, shoot I started grooving along. Overall, not the vibe lol.

I wonder how Sam Cooke would feel.

12:46 August 16, 2022

[the-learning-bri]

Today I went to the gym and did chest/triceps/shoulders. Once again I was in there for over 2 hours. And I haven’t even been doing core in the beginning. I need to find a way to get the time down. I’ll look at the number of exercises I do on average. Divide 1.5 hours by that number. Then divide that number by 3 to get about how much rest time I should take in between sets.

I also went by the collision repair place on Reisterstown Rd. behind Starbucks. They don’t even have an estimates appointment until August 9th, so it’s looking like I’ll be getting CJ fixed in Cali.

I straightened up my room a bit, and need to shred some things. I’ll either go through some clothes or start taking pictures of my shoes today to keep the ‘getting ready to move’ ball rolling.

I might play softball later today w/ Tee and Jayde and Taylor, but we’ll see. If not today then tomorrow.

For the rest of the day I want to:

- shower

- stretch again

- shred those papers

- read for at least 10 minutes

- hit up Taleah

If I don’t play today it would be cool to grab the keyboard and try to follow along to Nine in the Afternoon. 

I’ve been doing pretty well with water, so hopefully that continues :)

- 07/27/22 17:52

[the-learning-bri]

I’m just typing so I can say that I did it.

Yesterday was good. I bought Cameron his game. I cleared out the supplies bin that’s in my room. I went to the gym late and had a good bicep/back day. (I need to look up how to feel back more). I mapped out a budget until I work. I applied for more Tower accounts so I can split up my money appropriately. And I spent a good amount of time outside. Oh, and I was drinking a good amount of water.

I felt fulfilled to a certain extent.

I don’t think I’ll be able to get my car fixed while I’m here in MD - I almost said at home but I guess I’ll be back to having multiple homes again soon.

Today I want to :

- check on my reimbursement

- get a list of 5 apartments I want to see

- go through my supplies box from school

- go to the gym (probably late again)

- read something (Open Waters, Insurgent, Scorch Trials, Exposure Books)

That’s all I got for now :)

- 07/26/22 15:52

[the-learning-bri]

There’s so much movement out here. - The leaves on the trees, the weeds growing in between the rocks, dragonflies, bees, the snack bag that has half a turkey sausage in it. 

It’s the start of a new week.

I started off last week on a roll then Thursday and Friday were slower. The weekend was fun.

I hit the gym on Monday and Tuesday of last week so this week the goal is to go three times.

There are still things on my priority list that I did not get to so I need to do them.

I want to start separating my financials to get a feel for what I really have, and prepare for having to pay bills and live and crap. 

Some things to keep in mind:

- trip is next Tuesday [8 days]

- Diarra leaves next Wednesday, so I need to see her before I leave

- Taleah’s birthday celebration is this Saturday

- I turned in that film on Wednesday [07/20]

- big moves only 6 weeks away

- its mf Leo season

I’m feeling good about this week. The thing I need to remember is that any “good” thing I do now will benefit future Bri. And the most wrong way to do something is not doing it :D

- 07/25/22 13:32

[the-learning-bri]

I did everything I thought I would do yesterday, according to my last post atleast.

I had a really good workout at the gym. Biceps and Back. I went up in weight for most of my bicep workouts. I’m most proud of using the 40lb barbell. I do wonder if it was because I used the straight bar and not the curved one. I can’t quite figure out how I’m supposed to grip the curved one. I don’t know if I it was the fact that I ate some time before the gym (oatmeal and 3 pieces of turkey bacon), or if it’s because I didn’t do my regular core workout before I got to the other stuff. Or maybe it was because I was coming off of a weekend break.

Today I’ll be doing tricep and chest. Anytime I use the Smith machine I think it’s fun.

Right now I’m sitting outside and you can tell its summer. I can see 6 deer. They can see me. There’s 2 youngins. One mom that’s watching me the most. There’s an injured deer, but I can’t tell if it affects her. Another deer was licking? something off of it’s peer. There’s clearly some communicating going on here. as they all start to head back to the left and vigilant one refuses to take a bite of grass.

Another deer has taken over as the vigilant one, allowing the OG to bite down leaves and flowers from a tree. The kid snacks on the defeated leaves.

This whole encounter is something I wish I had my camera for. But, it’s moments like these where I work a little harder to be in the moment. Who knows.. the shutter of my camera or the movement of me getting in place may have spooked them away minutes ago.

They left the injured deer hidden behind some branches. I wonder what’s going through it’s mind. I think it knows it can get got. Will it be mad when it gets back with the others or is there an understanding that the injured can and will be left behind? I wish I could communicate to it that I am not the danger it is worried about. But is it my place to say that? 

Back to the regularly scheduled program...

I started off with some water today, and I did very good with it yesterday, so I expect today to be a hydrating day. Yesterday I didn’t go on any social media. By the time I was sitting in between sets at the gym I was satisfied with the business of my mind. Sidenote: Rock music at the gym 9/10. -1 becuase I do not have enough of it.

Today I’m supposed to:

- stretch before the gym

- go to the gym

- spray and oil my hair

- order some body butter

- vote 

- something on my priorities list

- stretch again

- contact Diarra

And we’ll see what else I get into

- 11:12 07/19/22

[the-learning-bri]

I’m feeling pretty good about this week.

I wrote out a physical list of priorities for the week.

Everything is getting as in order as possible for the trip and for the move.

I want to make sure I am drinking water this week and being really conscious of how I’m spending my time especially when I just start habitually scrolling.

I think I’ll be able to get rid of more stuff this week. I need to really consider is this something that I want in my new place. I get a fresh start and I don’t want to start with feeling cluttered.

If I haven’t used it, it has no sentimental value, and it can be bought again. Let it go. Even like notebooks and stuff. Yes, It can be used in the future. But, I haven’t used it in who knows how long and it can’t be purchased again.

I can probably keep chipping away at clothes too. There are some hoodies that don’t/won’t get worn. And T-shirts are always an on going battle.

I started off the week by listening to some piano music while a cleaned up my room this morning (like 2am morning). It was really nice. I got the idea from thinking I want to learn piano more/take lessons again when I get to Cali.

I want to keep going through my pictures and deleting them so that I can do something with the pictures I’ve taken. i have some really cool ones but they are already getting lost in the thousand + that have been taken.

For the rest of this Monday I’ll probably:

- wash the dishes

- stretch

- go to the gym (back and bicep)

- eat lunch with some type of chicken in it

- watch Stranger Things

- shower

- stretch again

- finish that Leet code problem

- eat dinner

- 10:34 07/18/22

[the-learning-bri]

Ayeee we at 2 days in a row! It’s the little things.

Yesterday I did everything on my list but there was still some feeling of unfulfillment. Z told me to take that as a sign that things arent all about lists.

Today I’m going to try and appreciate things for what they are and not as items to get crossed off. Really evaluate and appreciate how it may be something i hadnt done the day before and focus on the significance of it and how it will help future Bri.

I slept on the futon cause I didnt shower.

Now i’m in the gym so i don’t waste a shower.

A whole lot of pieces are in motion for Cali and it’s getting more exciting and the scariness is moving to the background.

I’m excited to design a space but already overwhelmed creatively overwhelmed with the possibilities. I’m probably going to start making a vision board type of shabang for the apartment.

Something Bri needs to remember is that she has almost never made a wrong decision. The decisions they’ve made has led them to where they are now. And life is good now. Everything is a step. Something off? It can be changed. Don’t doubt your decision making kid.

Today I need to:

- shower

- go to the gym

- 15+ minutes of yoga

- follow up with Tee

- put up clothes

- start on bedding laundry

07/14 but posted from drafts on 07/18

[the-learning-bri]

Once again it’s been a minute.

But nonetheless here i am.

Zariah went back home yesterday after 2 weeks.

I go to Cali for apartment searching in 3 weeks.

I move in to corporate housing in less than 2 months.

Today I need to

- stretch before i workout around 12:30

- go to the gym (back and bicep) around 14:10

- get rose water from the beauty supply around 17:00

- get a notebook from target around 13:30

- email Lise my date cmpltd around 11:00

- drink water

- respond to destination services email cmpltd around 12:00

- start laundry started around 11:30

- text Tee

Simple enough list. Simply do it.

- 10:32 07/13/22

[the-learning-bri]

Woah, so it’s been a little minute.

And i type different on here than I do my phone

but it will suffice

Although I feel like I’m already going back more than normal

And using more proper capitalization.. proper 

I’m going to start using this thing called desk time

where I just need to sit at my desk

and this can be one of the activities.

It kills two birds with one stone to be cliche. 

And probably > 2 tbh

I get in the habit of spending time sitting at a desk/ computer

focusing on something(s)

I’ll get back on my writing/logging/journaling/flowing tip 

It’s just like how last summer I had to write a weekly posts

this is where my personal posts will be. 

Sometimes daily, hopefully weekly, whenever..

Good job Bri

02:18 09/18/22 06/18/22

[the-learning-bri]

It’s log time

*ooooh* *ahhhhh*

This past weekend was cool. Friday i hung out with Diarra. She got some Yeezys. The store we went to made me wanna buy some new shoes. But idrk my shoe style at the moment.

Then I went over Taylor’s and drank and smoked and played games. It was a solid time. When i got home i learned i had a hole in my sock though smh. I really need to go through my socks.

On saturday i hung out with Diarra again. We smoked and got grilled cheeses and went to the park and rode scooters and got icecream. I love how theres a back and forth of paying for things.

Earlier that day I got a book of African proverbs. It’s pretty cool.

On Sunday not much happened. Got dressed to go see Aunt San but it never happened. Just sat outside and ate my leftover jerk and talked to my parents. Can’t complain.

Yesterday I was feeling like straight poop when i woke up. Headache. Nose. Throat. Tired. Just Bleh.

Me and Z talked. Cleared up some things about my availability. Played Gin Rummy. And then watched a show that makes us cringe through and through but is interesting enough.

I ate the rest of the left over pasta.

I went to Target to get Tiffanys card and then drove past the entrance because i was thinking animal reservation lol. I went to the other entrance and was handed paper directions back to entrance i had passed.

I had a good time and it was great to see Tiffany. I got to see Ivanna too which was cool.

Tiffany and her peoples always having a good time. There were water guns and people were dumping water on each other.

I ended up going to King Fu Tea then to Tiffanys house for an hour.

Mother nature decided to come which i could feel in the car on the way to get the slush.

I wouldve stayed longer at Tiffany’s but my stomach was killing me. The 35 minute drive wasn’t too bad.

I came back home… found medicine, took a nice shower, then noted my intentions for the next cycle. Me and Z also shared our intentions. I’m feeling good about this upcoming month!

•

Today is Day 2 so I need to stay on top of medicine.

I’m about to get up and use the bathroom. Start reading Maze Runner. Spray my face and maybe my hair.

Make my bed. If i plan to lay back down i’ll use the blankets.

My appetite is non existent so i might just do a bagel and smoothie. Watch some elite.

I plan to do camera searching today. There’s this one place in Baltimore that has the xt-20 so I’m going to call for the details.

I am going to search surrounding places too like DC and Pennsylvania and even Virginia and Maybe Delaware.

I want to know where I’m getting it by the end of the week.

*Remember its already Tuesday*

Either today or tmr I am going to Planet Fitness to get a membership.

That’s about it for now. I’m feeling good about today. 

TDAIL: benounce is not a word and daddy had never heard fucktard lmao

12:44 05/31/22

[the-learning-bri]

New Lunar Cycle

New Menstrual Cycle

Fresh Start if I want it to be.

Everything’s saying to take note of intentions and write down some other stuff so here we go.

The next new moon isn’t until Jun 28.

So between now and then I will…

take care of my body

drink water… at least a brita a day if I’m not out most of the day

working out regularly… i will be getting a gym membership this week because I can’t work out at home like i want to

stretching… ive done pretty well in these past couple of weeks. better than I’ve ever done and i will keep it up. hopefully increase it especially as i start working out

wash my face… at least once a day. this is mainly for the days I don’t shower. I need to get up and wash my face

take care of my mental

reading… i did good these past couple of weeks reading. I finished handmaids tale and started and finished divergent. I will finish Fahrenheit 451 and start maze runners

writing… i did good with writing since ive been home… once again more than i ever have consistently. i’ve started falling off this past week and need to pick it up again

learning... I want to learn more this upcoming cycle.. just about stuff. I will be doing a lot of photography learning but also other stuff… i’ll have to watch some youtube videos and listen to podcasts

working out… helps keep my mind clear

elevate my pneuma

creativity… i will creatively express myself. i plan to get a camera this cycle and begin using it to capture the things that catch my eye

writing… ive been doing log like writing. i will throw in some deep dives where I just write about topics I want to give more thought to ie. me waiting for the “right” time and coming to the understanding why i cant work out at home

interactions… so far ive had valuable interactions since ive been home. I want it to stay this way while also not stretching myself thin. make sure to stay honest with people about my availability. being willing to stay home just because I want to

music… i will find new music. i will create atleast one playlist that is not a weekly playlist

planning… i need to keep planning for september so that i can feel as prepared as possible as it keeps getting closer

do something out of my comfort zone… remind myself that i am expansive

working out… it helps the ego. it provides clarity. it is a process with results

expand my mind… keep reading into different philosophical things. i love hearing about different approaches to life and taking from them what i want

make a plan for financials

i have a good amount of money. I have things i want to buy. i have big things coming up soon. PLAN ACCORDINGLY. either use the book i have.. get a blank book.. or start a spreadsheet

i am here in the mornings. i want to and will make a trade

i want physical growth, quality time with the people and things i love, preparation, consistency, to be aware, to feel connected to the things around me and to my body, to learn, to expose some of my weaknesses, to speak up and not hold back

Bri Mason (she/they) 00:52 05/31/22

[the-learning-bri]

Yesterday was good. Can’t really complain.

It was taco tuesday and I got the same exact thing.

But this time I ate every taco because I didnt fill up on chips before hand.

I now wish I had some leftovers.

I might have to make my own tacos this week.

I got the same drink as Mommy, but only drank like half. There’s no point of being thaaat lit just sitting in my house

What else did I do?

I made a delicious bowl that I’m probably about to recreate after I shower.

I read Divergent and some Fahrenheit 451 (later in the day).

I worked on charted a little bit. Changed the theme.

I did some camera research and started taking physical notes.

I drank hella water [with lemon] and I’m proud of that.

Overall satisfying day, but there are some things I didnt get to yesterday that I want to do today.

•

Now I’m about to shower. Then eat. Then we’ll see where the day takes me.

I definitely wanna start going through the armoire so it can be better organized.

I didnt work out or have dedicated stretching time. So one of those, preferably both need to happen.

I am going to go through atleast a Brita’s worth of water.

Today I want to be intentional.

YIL: You don’t eat the wrapping of an enchilada.

12:07 05/25/22

[the-learning-bri]

Today [this waking period] was good.

I woke up around 10:50.

Got out of bed around 12:40.

Cameron came home early cause his stomach was hurting. I wish they wouldve told me because I could’ve picked him up :(

I got him a bucket. Then a bigger bucket. Then i adjusted the ac/ heating to make it a little warmer.

(Later he had me turn the heat off cause he was hot)

I had muffins, bacon, and expired orange juice for breakfast. No smoothie.

Which worked out because mommy ended up bringing smoothies home.

I played Ms. Pacman and had some lackluster runs.

I ran to Walgreens for some ambesol and imodium. The total was 19.98. I had a 20.

I put up my clothes.

Straightened up a bit.

Smoothed out my comforter. (Which was truly worth it as I lay in bed now)

Did some Tik Toking.

Read Divergent. I’m almost at the end. Less than 100 pages to go i’m pretty sure. Tobias tried to kill Tris after being injected with a serum by Jeanine.

It’s crazy how much of this book I dont remember but to be fair i did read it atleast 8 years ago.

I kept Mommy company while she cooked a delicious dinner.

BBQ chicken (lightly smothered in mustard?) apparently its supposed to hold moisture on chicken and pork. Microwave mashed potatoes, fresh broccoli, corn on the cob, and hawaiian rolls.

Delicious.

I played Ms. Pacman again. Better this time. Daddy claims he used to be able to get to 100,000 off of one life. I argued Cameron used to be the shortest in the house. But there’s no going back to that now is there.

I got trash out of my room and bathroom and moved my car.

I sat down at my desk and watched the game. The Heat got blown out!! Worst than a porn stars back. Annihilated.

I emailed Ernesto. finally

I ended up working on Charted.

Still can’t figure out the webview but insread of giving up I worked on some styling and edited the charts page. I worked on it for atleast 2 hours. And this will be the start of something.

I enjoy sitting at my desk. Extra monitor. Adjustable lights. Music. Diffuser doing what it do and diffusing.

I will try and remember the level of satisfaction i felt just sitting there.

I dj’d for my dishwashing gf. And it’s always such a connecting experience. Somehow it qualifies as quality time for me. Maybe it’s because of how i feel about music?

I brushed my teeth.

Stretched and moved my hips. No videos. Just movements i remember from multiple videos.

•

Overall 9/10 day!

Late start doesn’t mean its gonna be an unproductive day. Because i can have a later finish.

I did the things I needed to do :)

•

Tomorrow [today] I need to continue being intentional with my water drinking. Maybe start looking at how i can use my armoire more efficiently. Sit down at my desk. Workout (dont forget the music and the burn). Voice memo Tiffany.

Are we doing Taco Tuesday?

TIL: Neither of my parents have ever shaved their legs. Guam is not where I thought it was. In the winter like 80 people (that they know of) live in Antartica.

05/24/22 02:56

[the-learning-bri]

I did it.

I worked out.

I did some core and shoulders.

Nothing too serious but something.

I started sweating.

And I could feel my heart in my chest.

I felt the smoldering of my tummy muscles that takes me back to earlier this year in the room above the rec center or the empty gym in DC last summer.

It’s satisfying and i forget until i’m reminded.

I have all the tools I need.

Music — shit I have a whole workout playlist that I need to get tired of so I can delve into my weekly playlists.

I have two mirrors. If I wanted to I could probably see myself from two angles at once.

I have 5’s 10’s and 15’s and 20’s that I could bring up.

I have a futon that’s the perfect height foe tricep dips and could be used for core things.

I have no eyes on me but me.

So I can wear a cropped shirt and roll up my sleeves with no shame.

No expectations.

That’s usually how it starts.

Just moving until I feel.

Then the structure starts kicking in.

I do it for vain reasons.

And that’s okay.

I am proud of myself.

I was intentional.

I did some hip work and then stretched.

I am content with myself.

One day at a time.

05/22/22 02:11

[the-learning-bri]

My phones on 8 percent and I’m reclining in the family room.

Another good eh day.

I was going to call it unproductive but what do I need to be producing rn?

I feel mostly satisfied with myself.

There is still some tiny tiny mustard seed size nagging coming from the back left side of my brain though telling me I’m not doing enough.

Maybe I need to do some more planning?

Maybe actually working out will satisfy it?

I put up my bar today and knee raises or whatever they’re called are easier than I expected.

I keep looking at pictures where my core looks solid and I know it’s not that hard to get back there. I

just

have

to do

it…

I have to be intentional about it.

Like I was with my water drinking today.

*pats self on back*

There were so many bathroom trips though.

But when I’m in the bathroom upstairs I read Divergent.

I even read a couple of chapters in my bed today.

Tris pieced together Four is Tobias and their kinda cringey romance is evolving. I question the whole age thing but i guess its slightly different in the context of their world?

I beat my Ms. Pacman highscore on my first go today. My only full run today.

I ate a ham sandwich and a smoothie as my first meal. Pizza a crabcake and a salad as my second meal.

I channel surfed like Timmy. Preakness Breakfast Club Shrek The Office Shrek World Chase Tag Fresh Prince World Chase Tag Fresh Prince The Office World Chase Tag The Eastern Conference Finals Game 3.

The Heat won. Never lost their lead.

•

My phone’s on 6 percent.

5 percent.

Tomorrow we’re going to Nana’s for dinner and I’m excited. Especially to see what she made.

I’ll probably keep straightening up as its a never ending task.

I found my hdmi chord and adapter today so I’ll hook that up to my laptop at some point tomorrow.

I want to shave my underarms and probably trim the hedges a little.

I ordered the Mary Kay Microabrasian scrub thing. My skins been kinda rocky. Though that’s probably on me and not washing it when I should.

•

I need to figure out when we’ll be changing my cabin filter and plannnn accordingly.

Me and Mommy may be going to NY this week. We may be going to Aruba this summer or the whole family to Canada.

I need to deposit my checks this week.

Figure out how I want to spend money.

Am I serious about getting a camera? I feel like it could be a great creative outlet. But do I need it? The camera not the outlet lol. But I guess that answers the question. I would get it used and see if I’m really serious. Although there’s so much more research that I need to do.

But how much?

I’ve been doing these casual logs but should probably do a Type Out about waiting for the right time. Its definitely a motif in my life and I’m not the biggest fan of it. Idk if there ever has been a right time for something that I was waiting for the right time for.

•

Last night I dreamt I was working at Pizza Hut. The old Pizza Hut. But I was up front and there wasn’t enough space. I could feel the cheap, not thick enough, you can wash it as many times as you want but that back of the pizza hut smell will never come out of the material shirt on my skin. Or maybe my brain just filled that in. But I guess that’s just what a dream is anyway.

Will I work at Pizza Hut this summer? Will I work at all? Auntie Nichole suggests I dont. Am I really about my money? Find out next time on Bri [Will Never] Figures Out Their Life!

TIL: SNL has been out since the 70’s

05/21/22 23:50

[the-learning-bri]

Random mid day log because I havent typed on here in a couple of days.

Yesterday was cool.

I played catch with Tee on a tennis court at Randallstown.

It’s like riding a bike.

If there’s something i can humbly brag about its my arm.

Humbly Brag lol

Oxymoron.

There was so much going on at what Tee calls Randallhood now.

Kids track practice. Niggas Hoopin. Two matches of tennis. AAU in the gym. Deer Park Middle Magnet School dance recital. Pitbulls. A football. Drake on a speaker. Multiple Boofin Cars. A maze getting out.

We plan to try having a field day next weekend or the one after that. Games Drinks People.

Taleah didnt pick up. Ashlyn was sleep.

•

I had chicken for dinner.

Daddy said I shouldve got a state return but when I looked it up it wasn’t processed.

That’s because it was in DC. And they sent me a check.

$2000 sitting on the edge of my bed under mail that will eventually get shredded.

Mommy’s screw came out of her mouth?

She asked if i was sober enough to help Daddy get it back in.

I was 100% sober.

Does she assume I’m not sober every time? Because that could work to my advantage lol.

There was no screw put back in. Just put in the Mommy heart.

•

Today I slept till like 10:30.

Got up and had to light some candles and clean the bathroom cause Cam was bringing a friend home and they only had half a day.

I showered and tended to my hair.

I think it’s been enjoying the spray and oil.

I can’t do it too late or right before I go out because it needs time to dry.

•

For the rest of the day I need to drink more water. Be intentional about it.

I need to do some type of stretching or exercise.

Touch my laptop and do something on it.

Maybe read some more.

I’ve finished The Handmaid’s Tale and need to get another fiction book on my phone.

I’ve been home for almost 2 weeks.

YIL: Kehlanis going on tour?

05/20/22 15:05