the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Plus my grades were pretty good this year and will pull my gpa up.

Since I’m super mega stressed, it honestly seems like im gonna have to keep ariana grande on rotation cause she truly calms me down when things are hectic. Its just the anxiety of doing something risky with no guaranteed outcome (applying for a job I’ve never done before to build my career trajectory) is starting to spiral in my lil scaredy cat brain fr. But I’ll harden myself to it so I wont be scared anymore, who cares if i get rejected I’ll keep looking. I’ll apply for two more internships today.

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Since I’m super mega stressed, it honestly seems like im gonna have to keep ariana grande on rotation cause she truly calms me down when things are hectic. Its just the anxiety of doing something risky with no guaranteed outcome (applying for a job I’ve never done before to build my career trajectory) is starting to spiral in my lil scaredy cat brain fr. But I’ll harden myself to it so I wont be scared anymore, who cares if i get rejected I’ll keep looking. I’ll apply for two more internships today.

#entry.txt

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

That ritual i also did around the end of the year last year pertained to 3 different things that I’m going for right now. I dont exactly remember the wishes I burned, but i have an idea of how they are manifesting.

Overall remembering my exes words to me he said that i liked to take the easy route, and tbh he was right, and is still right. Im actually a coward, im too scared to fail and to do something wrong with something that I’m passionate about or truly want that I’ll give up before I even start, hiding away in day dreams instead of going for it now, instead of failing but getting better each time. Im trying to get better at taking risks and going for things just to finish it and grow stronger even if it isn’t up to my standards yet. I’ll get there. Today i finished my first sketchbook in almost a decade. I havent filled up a sketchbook in a long time. And i havent drawn consistently in a while. But I feel like I’m getting better. And in a few months im gonna look back and realized i improved so much. Today I made my first ever Resume and cover letter and applied for two paid internships. And researching how to get security clearance without working for the military. This friday im getting notebooks to study for my upcoming cert which I decided to study for. Even though it doesn’t really feel like im doing much, im actually doing a lot, im slowly getting to where I want to be, but I’m getting there, im taking the steps to wanting to succeed. Even if i get rejected by those internships. I know l I’ll get one and quit my job and go and start building a better life as ethically as I can. Its just the beginning, writing down all of my adult progress as small as they are now actually calms me down because I’ve never gone this far before.

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Overall remembering my exes words to me he said that i liked to take the easy route, and tbh he was right, and is still right. Im actually a coward, im too scared to fail and to do something wrong with something that I’m passionate about or truly want that I’ll give up before I even start, hiding away in day dreams instead of going for it now, instead of failing but getting better each time. Im trying to get better at taking risks and going for things just to finish it and grow stronger even if it isn’t up to my standards yet. I’ll get there. Today i finished my first sketchbook in almost a decade. I havent filled up a sketchbook in a long time. And i havent drawn consistently in a while. But I feel like I’m getting better. And in a few months im gonna look back and realized i improved so much. Today I made my first ever Resume and cover letter and applied for two paid internships. And researching how to get security clearance without working for the military. This friday im getting notebooks to study for my upcoming cert which I decided to study for. Even though it doesn’t really feel like im doing much, im actually doing a lot, im slowly getting to where I want to be, but I’m getting there, im taking the steps to wanting to succeed. Even if i get rejected by those internships. I know l I’ll get one and quit my job and go and start building a better life as ethically as I can. Its just the beginning, writing down all of my adult progress as small as they are now actually calms me down because I’ve never gone this far before.

#entry.txt

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Just applied for two jobs :(((

#entry.txt #gotta do more but I’ll be fine #we can do it

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Fuck it. Im gonna apply for the job, even tho cards dont like giving me straight answers.

#entry.txt

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

She lost me at rico nasty she tryna come for everybody 😭😭

Baby storme…

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

I got 2 black parents!! Nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga, i bet I’ll say it

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

She aint coming so ig no class today

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

If my teacher doesnt come after 15 min I’m going home.

#entry.txt

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

We dont wanna hear you say nigga no moreeee

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Drake should kill himself after this lol

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Im sitting next to my exes roommate :(((

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Kendrick… you did it. You killed that canadian demon.

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

I was so smart to block the niggas trying to explain the situation on tiktok because I recognized they also have a twitter account. And i see the unicorns and pink hearts and all the iconography they use to try and say “im a barb”

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[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

It just keeps getting worse.

Ice spice…

[the-silli3st-girl-in-the-world]

Ice spice…

#entry.txt