the-sun-the-moon-and-me

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

Fireworks

All things considered I should hate fireworks

Loud

Sudden

Made of fire

Falling fire from the sky

Founded in war

All things considered

I should hate fireworks but…

When I see fireworks

I think about the first time we kissed

Lips meeting

Parking lots

Middle of the day

When I think of fireworks

I think about the way your breath caught

Closed eyes

Hands that couldn’t touch enough

When I hear fireworks

I think about the sound

Of our souls

Slotting into place

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

If I am not what you wanted

If you saw my life as something diffrent

If your not sure you like who I am

Then I am sorry

But not for being myself

I am sorry that you are unwilling to see

This is always who I was going to be

I am sorry that you set me up to fail you

H was never who you thought you knew

And I am done pretending

So get to know me again

Now as I am

Or don’t

But don’t call me selfish for finally feeling okay to be me

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

You knew me once

Traced every line where my skin had split

You knew me once

Knew the color of my blood and how it stained

Knew what it meant when I said fine

When I said I’m fine

What happened to those people?

What happened to the boy

who kissed my head when the world felt

to fucking big?

You used to make me feel safe

You used to know the way I flinched

In my sleep

Your arms were around me

You used to know the way I flinched

Away from sudden movements

Why are all your movements so sudden?

You had me once

Put together

What happened?

What happened was you.

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

You crawled inside my head

And settled in

Made yourself at home among my soul and broken bones

You get to work

Untangling the mess of my mind

Picking out the thoughts that lie

The thoughts that hurt

Stopping the train before it runs off the tracks

You leant me your pulse

Taking up watch inside my chest

You tied together our heartstrings

And plucked out a melody

That sang our names

Until the walls around my heart crumbled

You swim in my veins

Finding each place I was ripped open

Sewing me back together with care and time

And precision

Teaching me how to heal myself

Kissing my scars as you go

You leant me your spine

When mine bent under pressures I couldn’t hold

Let me lean against you

Until you could show me how to stand on my own

I take my first steps

In this new body; bandaged but beautiful

Broken and whole

A work in progress

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

Trying

It feels like an empty word

Trying

Like a cop out

Like sure your trying but what dose that mean

It means

I’m fighting

A war in my head

I’m facing off with a version of me

Full of hate

I’m blocking her razors

With words to express how hard I am

Trying

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

Starving

You learn to love to feel

Empty

A gnawing aching feeling

You crave it

That sweet light headed deep sleep kind of feeling

That comes with being

Starving

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

Lonely, An object

A girl waits

A girl cries

A girl tries to hide

She sits in the living room floor

Her child playing around her unaware

She’s going to peices

Why,

A girl tries to smile

To bandage everyone’s broken hearts

To play host to emotions that are not hers

To shrug it off like his nightmares are quiet

To not worry anyone

To be good

Sit still

Seen not heard

A puppet

Lonely

A girl waits

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

Relapse

Something is tingling on my scalp

A memory

A shaking hand

Go about my day

Ignore it

Ignore it

Keep busy

Don’t think

But at night

The dark pressing in

The tingle spreads

Down my back and into my hands

Lines across my skin

Their begging me

Screaming

Don’t give in…

People are counting on you

People are trusting you

Don’t go looking

But my skin is screaming

Ignore the snores

Ignore the text tone

Don’t let them know your weak

They’ll call it a relapse

A falling off the wagon

Like it was a battle you already won once

Like the feeling Dosent come back

And back

And back

And back

Until it wins

Until

Until

Until

You relapse

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

MC

I bet you’d be surprised to find yourself here

That’s fair

We hardly spoke

But from afar I worshiped you

Your confadince

The way you could be yourself

Unashamed

There was beauty in the way your hair fell

The way your eyes danced

The way you held yourself

And I loved it

And you

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

SL

You were the birth of my savior complex

The birth of going after boys

Who were broken

The birth of me believing I could save…

Anyone

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

MB

As firsts loves goes

You were… good

To me

The loss that hurt the longest

The one I can’t get back

Ruined friendships

Growing into different people

That will never exist together

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

AP

Your lips tasted like vodka

Your tounge folded over mine

Your hands in my hair

I would live in that moment

That fleeting spare second

Lost in the haze of memories

You are god damn beautiful

And your lips could take me apart

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

SBC

I know you’re out there somewhere

My starshine

I can be patient

Waiting for you

To come back to me

Even if it’s only in friendship

Even if it’s only to say goodbye

I will love you still

Eternally

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

BB

All I can tell you is I’m sorry

For causing you the pain

I have been given

So many times over

I never meant to use you

I didn’t think I had

But your hurting

And it’s because of me

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

SH

Was it fun?

Waiting for the lights to go out

Waiting for the perfect timing

Whispering in my ear

You said you would miss me

Do you even think about me?

I was easy

Desperate to feel loved

To feel wanted

Did that desperation get you off?

Or was I someone you could have wanted

In another life.

Was it fun?

Playing with me?

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

SB

The sad thing is I know you loved me

That childhood love

The kind that seems limitless

Yet Doesn’t scratch the surface of it

Puppy love

But you couldn’t handle me darling

Not then

Not when I broke you

Not now

Not ever

#poetry

[the-sun-the-moon-and-me]

BC

Obsession is an ugly color

Tainting the ways you looked at me

Twisting me around your fingers

A possession

A collar you got me

Disguised like a necklace

That I wasn’t allowed to take off

So that everyone would know who I belonged to

I belonged to you

Property

Possession

Obsession

#poetry