thecaptaindouchebag

[thecaptaindouchebag]

I regularly have dreams I refer to as "Big Luca Dreams", wherein my dog Luca is very big. They are my favorite dreams.

This is how big Luca is in the Big Luca Dreams

[thecaptaindouchebag]

its like you dont even want to sell your life to a corporation

[thecaptaindouchebag]

[thecaptaindouchebag]

reject booktok culture. go to the library and get a weird little novel you’ve never heard of in your life and read it all in 2 days like god intended.

[thecaptaindouchebag]

the circus was in town that day 🤡

[thecaptaindouchebag]

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[thecaptaindouchebag]

we are RADICAL REBELLIOUS QUEERS WHO LOVE GAY SEX but don't break the rules of our social panopticon and don't point out misogyny or racism and don't do any of that freaky kink shit around me or I'm reporting you #ACAB #DOCRIME

[thecaptaindouchebag]

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

[thecaptaindouchebag]

never gonna stop thinking abt how i drunkenly stumbled over to this 40/50 year old butch lesbian at a gay bar and said “you’re everything i want to be” only for her to give me the warmest hug i’ve ever received in my life and tell me that was the best compliment she’s ever received.

[thecaptaindouchebag]

[thecaptaindouchebag]

tweet to original artist

[thecaptaindouchebag]

me, trying desperately to not talk to my friend about her gross boyfriend i hate: so... how's taylor swift doing?

[thecaptaindouchebag]

Beauty

#a turtle...

[thecaptaindouchebag]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[thecaptaindouchebag]

[johnny bravo voice] puppy dog

[thecaptaindouchebag]

[thecaptaindouchebag]

i'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, but sometimes i hear women talking about their diets and it takes all i have to not be like "this is not normal. you have an eating disorder and you are in a cult."