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대전 충남 오프해요(여자만 쪽지주세요,네토초
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gradually I just did to this new way of living. I was still getting the ringing in my ear and the dizziness but not quite as often. I found Waze of getting on with my life. I could still do everything I used to do but in a different way! I mean, if you can’t change things then you might as well learn to live within. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude. I would go out whenever I felt good. Rachel moved into her own apartment in my apartment complex and I would walk over there when I felt good to see her. I started having a very bad cough and a hard time breathing. That’s what I thought I had an ammonia. I was going to go to the doctor the next day but the night before my chest was getting really tight. I just felt awful. So in the middle of the night I called an ambulance and they told me that I was having a heart attack. when I went to the hospital they told me that I would need to get a stent put in my heart. It was relatively easy surgery. They went through my groin all the way up into my heart. By the next day I was feeling good. but I was a little shaken over the experience. Another issue to deal with. I came back from the hospital after two days and I was surprised that I was feeling so well. Rachel got an adorable little puppy. He is half Minpin and half Pomeranian and Wade only a pound and a half when she got them. I would go over there every day while she was at work and babysit my new grand puppy. his name is peanut. Being with him took my mind off of my problems. I love being with them even today. so now I am 56 years old. I have moved into a new apartment for seniors and people with disabilities that is run by the Jewish Federation. Half the people here are Jewish and almost everybody is older than me. But I like it and I feel like I now have a community. They’re always people around if I feel lonely or I could just go back in my own apartment and close the door when I want to be alone. I still live independently with help from caretakers that come to my home once a week. The dizziness, vertigo and ear ringing are still there. I will continue to have my good days and my bad days. I decided to live the rest of my life with a positive attitude and take one day at a time…
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losing my hearing was devastating. I couldn’t handle being blind and deaf. I still had hearing in my right ear but I seem to be losing that rapidly. when I went for my hearing test, I was told I had a 20% hearing loss in my right here. A month later I went to get tested for a hearing aid and was told that I had a 40% hearing loss The disease was winning again! Luckily I still only have a 40% hearing loss and so far it hasn’t gotten any worse. but the ringing in my ear still comes back every now and then. It is very loud and deafening. I also started getting dizzy much more often. my doctor referred me to a physical therapist and occupational therapist to help with the dizziness and vertigo. I saw each of these therapist twice that was released soon after and was told there was nothing they could do to help me. I then went back to the audiologist and was told that the dizziness was caused from an inner air problem since I lost my hearing in my left ear. The audiologist then referred me to a neurologist. The neurologist told me it was a vascular problem. She also told me that I probably have something called Cogan‘s disease. Cogan’s disease is a vascular problem that can cause blindness and deafness. But there was no way to test for it and there is no cure. I was given lots of medicine to help deal with the vertigo and dizziness but nothing seem to work. Again the depression set in. I couldn’t go to the society for the blind anymore because I was always so busy. I fell many times since I became blind. because I would trip over things that got in my way. I broke my leg twice and another time I broke two disc in my back. this all happened before I lost my hearing. Now things were so much worse. I would stand up and become very dizzy and I have to get Reagan to bed. There are times when I even had to crawl on my hands and knees to the bathroom because I couldn’t walk. my friend was staying with me win he found me passed out in the bathroom. I’m not sure how long I was out but when I woke up he had put a pillow under my head. My leg was in so much pain. Again we called an ambulance and I was taken to the emergency room. it turned out that I had a broken leg had a concussion. I stayed in the hospital for that day. They put a cast on my leg and was going to send me home. I knew that I was not able to take care of myself with a broken leg and being the wind so the hospital had me go into a nursing home. I felt like my independence was gone forever…
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I was doing my best to visit my mother in the nursing home. Her health is really starting to decline. One day when I was there visiting her she seem very happy because she said that all her family was with her. She saw her mother her father her aunts and uncle‘s and all her cousins in the room with her. I knew she was hallucinating but somehow this brought her a lot of comfort. She even saw a dog in her room with her. She always love dogs. When her lunch came she was throwing her food on the floor to feed the imaginary dog in the room. This is when I realized she probably didn’t have much time left. my mother has been a total of four years in the nursing home. She had many difficult days there and finally she would be at peace. I was having a lot of pain in my left eye and getting very bad headaches. The ophthalmologist said I had a very high-level Glock coma and since I was already blind in that I, they thought the best treatment would be to just remove the eye. At first I said no but the headache just kept getting worse. The surgery was scheduled for September 12, 2015. I was at home if you days before yes when my sister called me and told me that I should come to the nursing home because our mother had passed away. this was September 11, 2015. I was already grieving my mother and was in no mood to have my surgery the next day. The doctor found me another surgery date a few days later that said I couldn’t postpone this surgery much longer. My children flew in from Texas to attend my mothers funeral Lindsay who at the time was Alex‘s fiancé also came to the funeral it was such a hard day. My kids are giving speeches about my mother and we were all crying. I already missed her so much. When it was time to bury her we followed the Jewish tradition of shoveling dirt on the casket. I was the first one to do this. When I heard the dirt hit the casket I fell apart. It was so emotional. our whole family was very sad. I remember how my mother saw all her relatives that passed away and how much a comforter. This made me think that she had a very peaceful death and no longer had to suffer in the nursing home anymore. edye said that before she died my mother told her that her brother, my uncle Harvey, who had died a few years earlier, was telling her to get on the train. After the funeral we went back to my sisters house to sit shiver. unfortunately, the next day after her funeral I was in the hospital to get my eye removed. I just wanted to get that over with. when I woke up from surgery, I was in terrible pain. The doctor did tell me it was going to be a painful surgery but I didn’t realize how much she was going to hurt. They sent me home the same day and I went back to EV and Mary‘s house. when I got there I started getting sick again. I couldn’t stop vomiting and the dizziness was awful. Finally got so bad that we had to call an ambulance to take me back to the hospital. Ended up staying two days there. every day after that it started to get a little bit better until finally it was completely healed. My headaches were completely gone! I would have to wait another two months before I could get my prosthetic eye. Lindsay and Alex had their wedding date planned for April 1, 2016. All I care about was having my eye by that time so I didn’t have to look like a monster for his wedding. luckily I had my prostatic in time and we all flew to Austin Texas. It was a beautiful wedding and we had a lot of fun but I only wished my mother could be there. before she died she gave Alex her diamond ring to give to Lindsay for his proposal to her. She was wearing the ring at the wedding and she looked beautiful.It was an outdoor wedding in a garden setting. It rained a little bit at first so we ended up having the dinner inside. It was a wonderful vegetarian I don’t eat it was an outdoor wedding in a garden setting. It rained a little bit at first so we ended up having the dinner inside. It was a wonderful Maroc in feast. After dinner it stopped raining and we all went outside four drinks and dancing. It was so bittersweet. if you days later wg
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my mother was still in the nursing home when I lost my eyesight. Her eyesight was also weakening. My son, Alex met a new young woman that he completely fell in love with. her name is Lindsay. Alex and Lindsay decided to move to Austin Texas. Austin was a very liberal blue city in a red conservative state. There’s also a great music and and food scene there. It was a perfect place for them. So Alex and his future wife left Sacramento for Austin Texas. Maxwell, had always wanted to live in Portland Oregon. Another very liberal city. he already had some friends there so he decided to save some money by moving back in with Rachel and I. After a few months, he also left Sacramento and lived in Portland Oregon. It was hard having them leave but this would turn out to be the best opportunity for both my sons. my counselor at the Department of rehab encourage me to go to the society for the blind. This was a great place that helped blind people of all ages. When I first stepped in the doors, I couldn’t believe that all the instructors were blind. they were lawyers, engineers, and teachers. They were so successful. I just couldn’t believe that you could be so confident and happy while being blind. All the teachers and students were so friendly and helpful to each other. The classes I took were, king traveling, Briel and technology where I learned to use a computer and iPhone without having to use vision. I also took living skills which taught me new ways of cooking cleaning and doing laundry. It was so inspiring. I met so many good friends there. Of course I would’ve rather got my eyesight back but I learned to adjust and be OK with being blind. Then I start going to the blind support group that met there once a week and we all talked about being blind and ways to overcome our disability. It was wonderful. after about a year and a half of this terrific place, things begin to change. I woke up one morning to go to class and my left ear felt like it was all clogged. I also heard a light humming sound in it. I went to class anyway just thinking I had a cold. As the day went on I started to feel a little dizzy and nauseous. When Paratransit came to pick me up, it started to be very bad. I was vomiting nonstop and the Paratransit had to stop and pick up more bags for me to throw up into. I was so dizzy and by this time I had a loud ringing in my ear. When he finally got to my home I could barely walk and had to lean on the Paratransit driver to help me into my apartment I laid on my bed and could barely move. I was still vomiting and had lost control of my bladder. I didn’t know what was going on. When Rachel came home that evening, we decided to call an ambulance and go directly to the emergency room!p The doctors told me that they thought I had a stroke but would have to do more test to confirm that. After two days of test in the hospital they realized that it wasn’t a stroke at all. I had gone completely deaf in my left ear and there was nothing they could do for me so they sent me home. my dizziness and nausea are getting better but I was still having problems and I was scared to death to leave the hospital. I stayed with Edye and Mary for a couple days before seeing an audiologist. The audiologist told me that I had gone Deaf in my left ear due to a vascular problem caused by my immune system. He tried steroid shots in my ear but nothing worked.…
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well, Rachel got to job corps. She got her GED there but never really used the The training she received there. But it did help her become more independent. I needed to get out of the house a little bit so I worked three days a week part time in the evenings at the nearby great clips. Edye and Mary would come over and watch mom it got me out of the house and made me feel happier to see my mother again. This lasted for about a year of us living with my mother until she just got too weak to take care of herself. It seem like every week we have to call the paramedics because she would fall down or get sick. we just couldn’t take care of her anymore and knew she would have to go back to a nursing home. This was a very hard decision for all of us. My mother really didn’t want to go but we knew she couldn’t keep living like she was. The nursing home she stayed at was very nice and it was Close to where my sister lived. Mary Edye and Keegan would go to visit her quite often. I would go to the nursing home twice a week to see her and many times bring Rachel with me. My sons would also visit as much as they could. I couldn’t afford the apartment we were living in with my mother anymore so we found a cheaper apartment a little further away. that’s when my eyesight really started to go. I love to to take walks to the neighborhood stores but that was becoming more and more difficult. I couldn’t see the names of the streets are the walk sign until I got very Close to it. When I had an eye exam, I was told that I would be going blind very soon. And the doctor was right. My eyesight did go very suddenly. just a couple days after that appointment my left eye went completely blind and about a week after that I lost most of my eyesight in my right eye. This was devastating and I knew my life would never be the same. I had anxiety and panic attacks all the time. I was afraid to open my eyes because I knew that I still wouldn’t be able to see anything so I just kept them closed most of the time. When I did open my eyes it made me dizzy and nauseous. The doctor tried four different eye surgeries to see if I can get any more eyesight back in my right eye but nothing worked. And it was too late to do anything about my left die. This was also a very scary situation for Rachel and she didn’t handle it very well. I was advised to go to the department of rehabilitation and speak to a counselor. The counselor I saw was a young woman in her late 20s who had suffered from a major stroke a few years ago she was in a wheelchair and slurred her words and she was also visually impaired. But she was great! She was working full-time and happy. she would even joke with me. After seeing her I realized that this wasn’t the end of my life and I could learn to live with being blind.…
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I ended up having to be on chemotherapy for two years. But after those two years things we’re going pretty well. I needed reading glasses which I assumed was because I was in my 40s now. There was a vacant three-bedroom apartment next to where Alex was living so Alex Max will Rachel and Alex his girlfriend Ashley all moved in there with me. I was always so happy to have all my kids with me. It was a lot of fun and their friends would come over quite often because it was very close to their school. twice a week I would visit my mother in her apartment and do her hair. She would always big lots of goodies for me to bring back to my kids. I was actually feeling pretty healthy for The time we were living there. My reading glasses started having to get stronger and stronger but I just kept assuming it was because I was getting older. I was still working at a salon where we would have to call the next customer by reading their names off the list. I member this was starting to get more and more difficult for me and I would have to ask my coworker to read the names. But I love my job and I loved coming home to all my kids. things are going great until one night I got a call from the hospital saying my mother fell down in her apartment and was in The emergency room. As it turned out, she broke her hip. She needed a hip replacement and would have to stay in the hospital for a while. when she got out of the hospital she went to a nursing home for rehab. while she was at the nursing home Alex Maxwell and Alex‘s girlfriend we’re looking to move into their own apartment. Edye Mary and I discussed that mom we need a lot of help when she came from the nursing home and maybe she shouldn’t be living alone anymore by that time all the kids were finished with school and mom, Rachel and I moved into a three bedroom apartment near my sister. it was a beautiful apartment and mom seem to really like it when she came from nursing home. But she needed full-time care. She still had a very hard time walking and needed help getting out of bed and bathing..I had to help her with all these things and fix all her meals. The only break I would get is when her physical therapist and nurse would come to make visits. At night I would sit in her room with her and watch TV or just talk. and I really enjoyed her company. Rachel and no job or no plans at that time so I forced her to join job corps. She really hated going thereAnd wasn’t very happy. Although she really needed to do something with her life....g
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moving to elk Grove was very hard on my children. But they did like being close to family. Maxwell and Rachel we’re going to their own schools. Rachel was in a middle School about 3 miles away from our home and Maxwell went to school in about 15 minutes away from elk Grove in a town called Galt. it was a little town that I thought would be more similar to Vacaville. They met some friends there but still we’re not thrilled with living in elk Grove. Alex got a job at a record store I met a few friends there and even got a girlfriend. he decided he was ready to move out on his own and I helped him get his first apartment in Midtown Sacramento. There he seem to make lots more friends and he fit in to the Midtown style better. my mother, who always like to move, decided she wanted to get her own place again. She moved into a nice senior cytisine apartment building near my sister in out Grove. I found a pretty cool charter school for Rachel and Max in midtown Sacramento. That’s when we moved to land park, another suburb of Sacramento. Max you and Rachel seem to really like that’s cool and we’re starting to feel settled. I found a new doctor and she told me that I had many infections throughout my body. But mostly it was my liver that was bad. We tried all kinds of antibiotics and steroid treatments but the infections when you go away. Eventually, as a doctor advised I had to go on chemotherapy. At first they only had one treatment and it seem to be getting better. Then a few weeks later they came back. Now I would need three treatments of chemo therapy. This helped for a few months but still the infections kept coming back. Finally it was decided that I should get chemo therapy twice a week with steroid shots for an unknown amount of time. I hated these chemotherapy treatments. I could feel the medicine burning its way through my veins and up into my throat. I would get nauseous and dizzy. Then my hair started falling out. I found it everywhere in the house. My kids would invite their friends over for dinner and they were fine here in their food. Very embarrassing! then came the short term memory loss. Having so much chemo made me very confused. I remember driving to work and then halfway there not knowing where I was going. I had to get off the freeway and find the closest business and just park there. Sometimes I remember where I was going and sometimes I didn’t. When I didn’t I always had to look for a phone since I didn’t have a cell phone then and try to remember somebody’s phone number. there are times when I wait there for hours until finally my sister’s phone number came to me and I was able to call her. Mary was usually the one to pick me up. Find me waiting in the parking lot sobbing but she always knew how to cheer me up. One day, I remember leaving for work but the rest of the day became fuzzy. I know I was in at work and I do remember being at a grocery store. I guess my family called my work and they were told I wasn’t there. They got worried about me and had no idea where I was. Edye picked up my kids from school and she said she called the police to look for me. I don’t remember much of that day but I do remember coming home and seeing the police at my apartment. I was so panicked because I thought something awful must’ve happened to my kids. Turns out they were just looking for me. In my mind everything was normal and I didn’t understand why people were worried about me. Later I was told the details.
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it was nice not having to pay for a babysitter anymore. Rachel would walk from her school to my shop every day and hang out with me for a couple hours until it was time to leave. There are lotta things for her to do there. She always brought a sketchbook and markers and kept busy drying and was very artistic. So things are working out pretty well but I’m still getting ugly rashes. The kids and their parents would both asked me what’s wrong with my arms. It was very embarrassing. I felt that the parents thought I would give their kids some terrible disease. I had it as much as possible with long sleeves and long skirts and pants. My mother decided to move back to Sacramento at that time. I think she missed being around her grandchildren. At first she stayed at my sisters house. This was very good for Keegan as her and your grandmother became very close. she did finally get her own place and we would see her often. it was nice having her home although I still lived about 45 minutes away in Vacaville. Wendy I was feeling really sick and extremely tired. I decide to go the doctor and get a check up. I hated going to the doctor because every time I had a problem I was just told it was because I was diabetic and overweight. But this time it was different. The doctor saw my rashes and said that she wanted to have me tested for lupus. These test lasted about two weeks before I was told that yes, I was positive for lupus. I really didn’t even know what lupus was. When I found out I was scared but relieved that they figured out what was wrong with me. They put me on steroids and I guess it helped a little bit. I was still working at the kids salon then. My mother in Sacramento was also having health issues. She had a bad heart and severe arthritis. Edye and Mary are doing so much to To help her. They took her to all her doctors appointments and my grocery shopping for her. They came over whenever she didn’t feel good. eventually they asked me to move to Sacramento so we could all be close to mom. so we moved into a beautiful four bedroom house in a part of Sacramento called elk Grove. My mother lived there too. She had her own room. Again Rachel and I shared a large bedroom and Alex and Max will both have their own room. I got a part-time job working at a nearby hair salon and enjoyed being close to my mother but my children were not happy. They didn’t have any friends in elk Grove and would have to start a new school. They live in Vacaville almost her whole life so the change was very hard for them. The kids were all very depressed.
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hey we were stuck in Las Vegas waiting for our next flight to Sacramento. We had to be out of our hotel by 11 but our next flight wouldn’t be until 8 PM that evening. We are all so tired I just getting a few hours sleep but I tried to make the best of it. We didn’t have too much money left but the airline gave us a lot of food vouchers and we did a lot of eating. We also walked around the hotels and saw the sights of Vegas. The kids were so tired and all had runny nose is. They’re also getting very irritable. When it was getting close to our flight we went back to the airport. That’s when the airline told us that that the flight to Sacramento was booked. They will give us a flight to San Francisco and take us home back to Sacramento in a taxi they will provide. it it was a little over an hour drive from San Francisco back to Vacaville. when we got to San Francisco, I waited and waited for my luggage but then found out that it was lost. Also, Howard Taxi never showed up. This was becoming a real horror story. My kids were getting sick and I was still grieving my father. So I dragged all my kids to the airline counter and told them that we didn’t get a ride. We would have to wait another hour and a shuttle would arrive. when we did finally make it home it was the next day. Our trip from Florida back to Vacaville took three days!. We were also sick and stayed in bed for the next week. The airline gave me my money back after a lot of complaining and I knew I would never use them again. after a while the kids were feeling better and went back to school but I was still sick. I knew I couldn’t afford to miss a lot of work so I would go to work feeling terrible. The barbershop was busy all the time and it was hard to take breaks except for during lunch. We worked on commission so the more haircuts we did the more money we would make. By the time I got off work, my whole body was aching and I was so tired. I was still getting bladder infections and rashes all over my body. after working there for five years, my car broke down and I couldn’t afford to get a new one. I had to quit the barbershop and get a job close to our apartment so I could walk to work. I got a job a few blocks away at a great clips hair salon. Rachel and Max will we’re still in elementary school and started getting old enough to walk to school themselves. Alex was in middle school and would get a ride from his friends parents. we are managing OK without a car. when Alex was 13, I let him stay home alone with Max and Rachel for a few hours until I got off work. It was nice not having to pay for a babysitter anymore but I still worried about them constantly. when day while I was at work I got a call from Alex saying that Max will cut his finger really bad. He was climbing a fence that had razor wire on the top and his ring finger was almost entirely cut off. There’s only two of us working at great clips that day but my manager said we could lock up the shop for a few minutes and my coworker could take me home. When I got there, I saw Max so covered in blood. Alex Rachel and I were so scared but for some reason Max will stay calm. I got a cab and we went to the emergency room. The emergency room in Vacaville was very busy all the time. We ended up having to wait four hours until the doctor could see him. The nurses just kept giving him more and more gauze to soak up the blood. When the doctor saw him the stitches figure back up and my big brave Maxwell didn’t shed a tear. I was a wreck though. I didn’t want that to ever happen again so I got another job about a block from great clips at a kids hair salon. There I was off work by 5 PM every day and I would not have to leave them for very long. I like that job a lot. It was fun working with children. I gave so many first haircuts. We had a train and airplane for the kids to sit in why they were getting their haircut. Is also video games there and they played Disney videos. Rachel was in seventh grade then and her school was right across the street from the salon. The boys will go to their friends. after school an
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I was 37 when my father died. He was only 67. my parents move to Florida a few years before his death. Moms department in the hospital where she worked was closing so she no longer had a reason to stay in San Francisco. her brother, my uncle Harvey, already lived in Florida with his wife. My mom also had many cousins and old friends living there. It was getting harder for her to take care of my dad so her family told her to move to Florida and they would help her. She seemed very happy there. We would come to Florida and visit every so often and see them. About a month before my dad died she called and told my sister and I that we should come to Florida because this may be the last time we see him. Edye and Mary adopted a beautiful little girl name Keegan at 16 months old. So Edye, Keegan Alex and I flew to Florida to see him. Mary stayed home and took care of Maxwell and Rachel. I’ll never forget the last day I spent with my father. He was in a nursing home in Florida then. it was a great day. With just him and I in his room. I got to spend the whole day alone with him. He was always pretty funny and even then he would tell jokes. We laugh. I cut his hair and shaved his face. I know this made him feel better. although I was there to be with him, he still worried about me. Always asking if I’m hungry or tired or what I want to watch on TV. When the nurse came in and told him it was time to go to physical therapy, He became his old grouchy self. Dad was tired and didn’t want to go to physical therapy but they made him go anyway. He didn’t want to do it they were told and you some very colorful languages that’s my dad. When he was in a good mood there was nobody nicer but if you made him mad, you better look out. But he was always a very good father and cared about his daughters. sitting in the room with him was very special to me. We talked and talked and I felt like I learn new things about him. That they will always be precious to me. Going back home would be bittersweet. we knew that anytime now we can get the phone call from my mother that he is gone. This happened about one month after our visit. This time my whole family flew back to Florida. his funeral was nice and led by a wonderful rabbi but of course it was very difficult. We sat Shiva for the first week I was there. I think it was hardest on my mother. All the relatives would come around and bring food over while my uncle would lead the prayers. This probably makes me a bad you but after a week of this call mom my kids and I needed a little bit of happiness. Alex was 10 years old, Max was seven and Rachel was six. I didn’t want them to be around all that sadness. So are used my tax refund and spent the next four days at Disney World. We were having A good time while I was still wearing my black torn ribbon. Something that the immediate family of the deceased wears. we stayed in the Disney resort for four days and visited all the different parks. My kids had a great time although we are all exhausted. We’re happy to go back and see my mother again. of course it was still very hard for her to lose her husband but she was surrounded by friends and family. I was happy about that. The flight home was awful. Our first flight was delayed by four hours in Miami which made us miss our connecting flight. The airline said they would find a hotel for us to stay in for the night and we could fly home the next day. they would have a bus waiting to pick us up and take us to the hotel. Well we waited and waited for hours in the airport and the bus never showed up. I went back to the airline and told them and eventually another bus came. When we got to the hotel, we were told that we didn’t have a reservation and there was no room for us. By that time my kids are getting very tired and cranky. The bus took us back to the airline in the airport and they told us that they made a mistake and would find us another hotel. by this time it was 5 AM the next day. Well, the bus showed up and took us to the hotel. We did have a room but we were told that we had to check out by 11 AM.
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I was in search of a babysitter not knowing what I was going to do. Again Edye and Mary helped me as much as they could. Alex was going to school with a boy whose family also lived with a single mother and two small children. They were looking for a home. The parents of the boy recommended her and said she was very nice. So I decided she would be the next to move in. she had a six-year-old boy and a two-year-old boy. I thought this would work out great because Maxwell was also six years old and he could have a playmate. Everything seem to be going OK although her kids are kind of wild. she wasn’t the best babysitter in the world but she kept my kids safe and they seem to like her. She stayed with us for a few months when I found out I now had section 8 housing. with help from my sister to pay the deposit, we found a three-bedroom condo in Vacaville. It was too hard and far away to keep sending my kids to School in Deerfield. That was OK with them because they never really fit in with those rich kids. There is a nice school close to us that wasn’t in a rich neighborhood but the principal and the teachers were very caring. The kids love going to that school. Eventually I got a job cutting here at a barbershop at Travis Air Force Base. It was a good job and I worked four days a week. That left me with three days a week to spend with my children. They’re all going to school then and all I needed was a babysitter to pick them up and watch them for a few hours till I finish my work. I found a good babysitter who lived on base and that helped me a lot. The barbershop was in a mini mall that had a large food court with a few other stores and businesses around it. The kids love to visit me and I would give them my tips to let them go and eat and shop while I was working. there is even a Sanrio store that’s old I’ll kinds of hello Kitty items. The man that owned it was a very nice guy who love my kids and would give them discounts on all kinds of things. We were all very happy then. Lloyd tried to sue me so he could claim the kids on his taxes but that backfired for him. The judge decided that he should pay me more money. He was now paying me $650 a month. So between section 8 housing my job and the increase in my child support we were doing all right. then I started to get more rashes all over my body. This was very embarrassing and I tried to hide them with long sleeves and jackets. I have been a diabetic since Rachel was born and I thought this was probably just a complication of it. I was also starting to get a lot of arthritis pain. When I went to the doctor they foundHi enzyme levels in my liver and thought I had hepatitis. The test came back negative and the doctor said it could probably be because of my diabetes and the fact that I weighed 185 pounds then...
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before getting section 8, we moved into a two bedroom apartment in Fairfield California. Rachel and I shared one bedroom and my boys share the other one. Alex was going into the first grade and I wanted to make sure that he went to the best school in Fairfield. I found to school if you miles away in The richest part of Fairfield, called Rancho Salano. at that time, we were able to enroll our children into any school in the district as long as there was room. after a few years, Maxwell and Rachel went there also. Our apartment wasn’t really in the best part of town but we had nice neighbors. There were other kids live in the apartment building that were about the same age as my children so there was always kids for them to play with. Floyd was paying me $500 per month in child support and that didn’t even cover the cost of my babysitter. It seem like I just couldn’t get ahead. I was working more and more but also had to pay more and more for their daycare. It was very hard to make ends meet. I also felt guilty and hated leaving my kids for so long. My grandmother was put in a nursing home because of her advancing Alzheimer’s disease she was needing more and more care. My father started dialysis and can it work. My mother was stretched her limit. The kids and I and my mom and dad all moved into a large house that was also in Fairfield. I was able to keep my kids in the same schools. We decided this was the best idea because I could help my dad when my mother was at work and she would help me watch the kids while I was at work. this worked out well until my father got a bad infection in his leg and I had to get it amputated below his knee. This was a complication of his diabetes. My sister lived close by with her girlfriend at the time whom she is now married to. They were great.g Edye and Mary would come over all the time and do as much as they could to help. They would take my kids I little trips. They babysat when it was necessary. They even helped me with money. my mother was working full-time so they will also come over to help with my dad and give my mother a little break. gradually my father started stronger but still had to do dialysis three times a week and that took a lot out of him. after a little over a year of living together, my mother got a great job in San Francisco which she loved. San Francisco was over an hour commute from where we’re living so my parents moved into an apartment in the bay area. The kids and I stayed in the house and I rented out two bedrooms to a single mother with two sons. this lasted for a little less than a year when we realized we had very different. Hang styles and we weren’t getting along. That’s when she moved out. my sister and Mary are still helping me out as much as possible but I needed to find a way to afford to stay in the house. Edye was working with a woman that had a young daughter with a two year old child and they needed a place to live. She was 18 years old and a single mom. her name was Corey and I told her she could live in the house with us for free in exchange for her providing child care. this was great in the beginning. My kids loved her and she was a great babysitter. I also could go to work without feeling guilty, knowing that they were well taken care of. I thought this is great because our life was finally getting settled. But after a few months of living this way, her boyfriend started coming around while I was at work. I didn’t like him at all. He’s very abusive to her and was using drugs. I told her I didn’t want him around my children and this lasted for a while then I found out that he came over one night while I was at work. He and Cory got into a big argument. He put my kids in his car and started to drive away. The kids were terrified but luckily he brought them back to the house a few minutes later. when I came from work, my kids told me what happen and I immediately kicked her out of the house. here I was again, stuck without a babysitter and not knowing how I was going to pay my rent. we applied for section 8 I was on a very long waiting list. Al
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so I live with my three kids in a one bedroom apartment in Vacaville. It might as well have been a mansion. I felt so happy and free. I didn’t have to protect my children against your father’s temper and I could live the life I wanted. I worked part time as a hairstylist and left my kids at home with the babysitter. It was always hard to make ends meet. but it was still great. Every night before bed we would all tell stories and read books. My sons would sing their sister to sleep. We are all happy. ButRachel still needed her eye surgery. My sister went with me to her The second surgery her other eye was a month later. That was also very successful. My sister also went with me to that surgery and we stopped at a fruit stand on the way home. Rachel was three years old. When we got out of the car, Rachel ran to a display of sweet peppers. They were red green yellow and orange. Rachel started jumping up with excitement. this was the first time she ever saw colors. We were so grateful! A few months went by and we noticed Rachel is having trouble seeing you again. We took her back to the doctor and were told that her eyes have scarred over. They said because of her young age her cells were growing so fast and that’s what was causing the scarring. So she would have to go back for more surgery to remove the scar tissue. After surgery I would have to put drops in her eyes four times a day which stung and hurt her. I would have to take her over to neighbors apartments so they could help me hold her down and put the drops in your eyes. My poor baby was suffering and it was killing me to have to do cause her so much pain! over the next three years of her life were back-and-forth at the hospital where she was having more surgery to remove more scar tissue. I felt like I was torturing my baby but I had to do whatever I could to make sure she didn’t go blind.. it’s 6 1/2 years old her eyes stabilized and she didn’t need any more surgery. she had a total of 13 surgeries in all. We’re finally done with all the eyedrops and my little girl was able to see with only using prescription eyeglasses. In fact she was very artistic and I always did the best drawings in her classroom. Her pictures were always hanging on the walls. Rachel was also very good with beads and sewing. She is very talented. in the meantime my disease came back. I was getting strange rashes all over my body. It’s also giving many infections. I was tired all the time. I love doing arts and crafts with the kids. Would bake cookies and go to parks and museums. When I made enough tips at work I would take them to McDonald’s to get a happy meal and play in the play yard Opry go to movies. Although I was exhausted all the time. I did the best I could give them a happy life. I still love being with them more than anything else in the world. Sometimes though, I would have to just lay on the couch and watch them play by themselves in the living room they watched a lot of videos and TV. I felt like I was just too tired to fully be a mother I wanted to be. finally we were able to get section 8 housing which lowered my rent considerably and I could cut my hours at work. I was still working part time I couldn’t afford quality daycare and I always feel guilty leaving them with the only babysitters I could afford…
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my sweet little baby girl was born. She came 6 1/2 weeks early. She was so tiny but beautiful. I only got to see her for a minute when they Wister way to the neonatal ICU we named her Rachel Hana. I was in my room for the first three days of her life do to my complications and my c-section. So I wasn’t able to see her those days. The nurse brought me a picture of her with tubes in both her hands and feet in her belly button and on the top of her head. Should oxygen in her nose to help her breathe. I eight to be with her. when I finally did see her, she was in the incubator and I couldn’t even hold her. I was able to go home but Rachel stayed in the hospital for another two weeks. when we did take her home, it was wonderful but challenging. I worried about her constantly. She was born with an a large heart and high blood pressure and had to be on medication. She slept almost all the time and I had to wake her up to feed her. The hospital gave me these little tiny 2 ounce bottles made for premature babies that look like they were for dolls. in fact every diaper we bought for her were so big that we ended up buying cabbage patch kids dolls diapers! she slept in our bedroom in a tiny little cradle I am Max was still slept in the crib. Poor Alex once told me that he didn’t want us to have anymore babies! Things were getting very tense between Floyd and I. We decided to move from San Diego to get a new start he was so miserable all the time. He hated his job in San Diego and I thought moving and being closer to my sister would maybe make things better. Oh by the way, my sister graduated from San Diego State University with a masters degree in marriage and family therapy. she got a job in the bay area and had already been living there for a few years. shortly after that, my parents also moved to the bay area to be close to their daughters and grandchildren. At that time my father had already gone through cancer and was now a severe diabetic. he was slowly losing his kidney functions and eventually would have to be on dialysis. My grandmother, who I called Nana was living in Florida and had the beginning of Alzheimer’s disease. so she ended up moving in with my parents. My poor mother was taken care of both her husband and her mother. It was a very stressful time for all of us. Rachel started getting stronger and was able to stop taking her medicine. She was very slow developing my husband jumped from one job to another. He lied about his qualifications when he applied for a job. When they found out he couldn’t do the job and when they saw his bad temperament, He was quickly fired. In one year, he had six jobs and we moved to three different cities in Northern California. Singh just kept getting worse and eventually we also moved in with my parents. At that time I was under so much stress and so unhappy that my weight went up to 260 pounds. I knew we had to get a divorce. Floyd left for a few months to stay with his parents in Minnesota before coming back and renting a room in an apartment in Vallejo. We worked out visitation. He saw the kids every other weekend. as Rachel started getting older we noticed she was having some vision problems. At two years old, she started walking into walls and cars. She couldn’t see to pick things up after she dropped it. We took her to the doctor and we were told she had cataracts that were so dense it was like looking through a car windshield covered in mud! we were told that there are only three pediatric ophthalmologist that would do the cataract surgeries in all of California. Luckily we found one only about an hour away. at that time I was moved into my own apartment in Vacaville, about an hour away from Sacramento. I was trying to work as much as I can while still trying to pay for a babysitter. We are on food stamps and we lived in a nice but tiny one bedroom apartment. I love sharing a room with my kids. Every night we would tell stories and read books. My daughter was sleeping in a Little toddler bed and my boys slept with me in a king size bed that my parents gave me...
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I was lucky enough to stay home with Alex for the first year of his life. It was so wonderful and he was such a good baby. I would go in his room first thing in the morning and saw a happy baby standing at the side of his crib waiting for me to hold him. but I was ready to go back to work, at least part time. My parents help me buy a hair salon in a small town near San Diego called Lakeside. I worked there four days a week and it was great, even though I couldn’t wait to get home to see my baby boy. The salon was going OK not terribly busy but we were able to make a living. Two months after working in my salon, I found out I was pregnant again. I was very very happy about this. Then, during my second month of pregnancy, I had another miscarriage. This time no procedure was needed. At least I still had my beautiful baby boy at home and my own hair salon to work out every day. I was still very blessed! My life was good. My husband and I were doing OK although we didn’t have the greatest marriage in the world. He started coming home from work grumpier and grumpier. he was finding fault in things that I did even though I would try my hardest to make them happy. He was also very short tempered with Alex and that caused a lot of arguments. this made me want to spend more more time with my baby. I started spoiling him and becoming overprotective. But I was still happy. The disease came back giving me lots of infections. This time they found out I had some liver damage. When Alex was A little over a year and a half, I was expecting my second baby. This time the pregnancy was going great but having my salon and all the infections Plus the pregnancy got too much for me. We need up selling the salon and we broke out even. When my second son was born, I was full of joy. He was every bit as perfect as his brother Alex. We named him Max was Joseph. He was beautiful with blonde wavy hair and bright green eyes. by the time Alex was three years old, he took his role of the big brother very seriously. They were so cute together. Alex would sit with him and tell them stories and Max would laugh and have a great time. sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I would find Alex crawled in the crib with Max and they were playing happily together. Having my tea Little boys with me made me so happy. Floyd was still coming home grumpy. can you come from work and go directly in front of the TV barely speaking to his sons. I was spending all my time with my babies and Floyd was becoming jealous. I was still breast-feeding Max well, when I found out I was pregnant again. I was thrilled to find out that my third baby was going to be a girl! Bye my six month of pregnancy things weren’t looking very good. I had pre-eclampsia and had to spend the rest of my pregnancy on bedrest. This was difficult considering I already had two small children to take care of. My parents again came to the rescue. They came over and babysat why I was laying in bed. They helped clean my house and bathed and fed the kids. Something I thought my husband should be doing. When he came home from work he would still go right in front of the TV and that my mom and dad do everything. at my seven month visit to my doctor, they saw that my little girl was in distress. They rushed me to the delivery room to have an emergency see section. when she was born they quickly showed me my tiny baby then rushed her off to the in ICU.…
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well if you remember, I was about to go and have my D and C The procedure to remove the remains of my miscarriage. With my husband gone and my roommate sick, I decided the best thing was to just go home and stay with my parents back in San Diego. I was 24 years old. so me and my cat got on the plane and that Virginia for three months. The next day after coming home to San Diego, I was already having this done. They brought me into The labor and delivery department of the hospital. There were new and expecting mothers all around me. I felt like this was probably the most insensitive place to put a woman who just had a miscarriage. But The procedure went without any complications and I was back in bed in my old bedroom. I laid there in pain and feeling very depressed. This is when the disease really hit me. I was so tired all the time and would throw up constantly. I just wanted to die. My mom and dad did everything they could to cheer me up but nothing really helped. I called my friend back in my old apartment and his mother answered things we’re getting really bad for him. His mother decided to take him back to North Carolina, the place where his family lived so they could take care of him in his last days. It broke my heart that I couldn’t even be there to say goodbye. I felt like I was sick and depressed all the time. Floyd was about to come home from his cruise in about a week so I had to just try to be strong. my kidding me we’re back on the airplane heading for Virginia. The first thing I do when I got home was called a psychiatrist. When I saw him he put me on medicine which helped a little but it also made me feel like I was in a fog. when my husband came home I was feeling happy. I was looking forward to his love and support but that’s not exactly what happened. Although he was also very sad about the miscarriage, he couldn’t understand why I just couldn’t get over it. we had a lot of fights then and we decided to go to marriage counseling. This helped a little bit and eventually we fell into our routine. Things were not great but they weren’t that terrible either. soon I became pregnant again. It was very scary because I didn’t want the same thing to happen again. It was also very exciting because this time I could really become a mother. My doctor was great. He was a Jewish man from Israel with a great sense of humor. Whenever I saw him he had a great joke to tell and reassured me that everything was going to be OK. This time when I went in for my ultrasound I was very hopeful. everything was going great. I was able to see my baby and listen to the heartbeat. We found out we were having a boy. Things we’re going smoothly but I was still cautious. I didn’t want to buy anything for the baby until my eighth month. finally my beautiful son was born on August 8, 1988. I was a static. He was the most perfect baby I ever saw. I instantly fell in love. we named him Alexander Robert after my grandfather Alex and Floyd‘s father Robert. I was so happy when we brought him home. Being a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved everything about it. Holding him in my arms. feeding him. Feeding him. Everything was done with so much joy. I have never been happier in my life. I love bathtime. I would sing to him and tell him stories. After bath I would rather them down with baby lotion put on his pajamas and wrap them up in a nice warm blanket. He smelled so good. I had the best little baby in the whole wide world...
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in the first part of my story I referred myself in the third person using pronouns like she or using my name Tracy because this made me feel more comfortable. Now that Tumblr and I are getting to know each other I will use the pronouns, I and me. so there I was in New York at19 years old. I found a shitty apartment in Grange village and lived in a one room apartment with six other people. It was so exciting. I was having the time of my life. I even got a job working at McDonald’s would seem like a lot of fun at the time. My apartment was getting more and more chaotic. There are parties there constantly with lots of drugs and lots of sex. Everything I brought with me in the apartment eventually got stolen but I was still having lots of fun doing the whole Greenwich Village thing. That was until the money ran out and it was getting harder to have fun. I would buy food and all my roommates would eat it. I would buy new clothes and my roommates would wear them. I started getting very tired but I never had peace and quiet to go and rest. eventually, I got an ammonia and had to leave. Some people I knew from Washington DC offered to buy me a ticket and come stay with them for a while. I was young and naïve then, or even you could say I was stupid. Once I ride back in DC, I realized that these guys wanted a lot more for me than just my friendship. finally I had enough. I was just so tired. I called my parents and asked him if I could come back home to San Diego. Of course my parents said yes and they even bought me the ticket back. Again they were very loving and supportive but they were very strict with me and I didn’t have a whole lot of freedom. I decided to go to cosmetology school while still living at home. I love cosmetology school. I met great people and I love the profession. This was the time of MTV. My school had quite a large gay population and I soon found love with the gay culture. I would go with them to the gay bars and drink and dance all night. Some of my friends from the school you’re really into the punk rock scene. so I started hanging out at though punk slam bars. I love the music but to be honest with you, the punk rockers kind of scared me. But again I was having fun and gotten bald with many different subcultures and was doing great in cosmetology school. Then the 1980s AIDS epidemic came. I was losing my friends one by one. It was very bittersweet. eventually, I graduated and got married to a sailor that I met at Disneyland. We moved to Virginia for three years while there I worked at a hair salon but they had a deep desire to have children. We tried for a year and a half and I finally got pregnant. I was overjoyed. My husband, Floyd went on a seven month cruise with the Navy. While I stayed home and worked at the hair salon. Who’s kind a lonely so a friend of mine from the salon, who happened to be a gay man, moved in with me while he was gone. We became great friends and helped and supported each other. When he starting to get sick, I knew exactly what was happening. He lost a lot of wait and was sick most of the time. We got the bad news. He had aids. His mother came and stayed with us for a while to help her son. she also took me to my doctors appointments. When I was five months pregnant we went to get my first ultrasound. I was really looking forward to it. I laid in the clinic while she put the jelly on my belly and started looking for the baby. Something is wrong, she told me. I don’t see a baby. I was scared to death. I asked her why not and she said I don’t know you’ll have to talk to the doctor on Monday. This was on a Friday so I spent the whole weekend worrying and worrying about this. When I saw the doctor on Monday he told me I had a miscarriage. I was brokenhearted. there was still a lot of tissue from the baby and I would have to get a D andA. This was a procedure to remove the remains of the baby out of my uterus. Since my husband was cruising the Mediterranean and my roommate had aids, I decided the best place to have this done...
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